The After The Rain
It's Ok To Be Selfish Sometimes

Previously, Kinara intended to immediately rest as Sekala had ordered before. But because it's Monday and he's been draining a lot of energy to serve a lot of customers, automatically his body also produces more sweat so now he feels all over his body feels sticky and uncomfortable.

She would not be able to sleep if her body was still in a dirty state, so Kinara decided to lunge into the cold and wash her entire body using ordinary water, instead, not using warm water as he used to do in the previous nights because he was too lazy to cook water first.

The shadow of Atha's annoying face was again present in his head when Kinara closed his eyes, making his feelings gradually deteriorate and his feelings he was eager to punch the young man's face into a formless batter.

If only the young man had met him somewhere else, not in Orion, he would have done so.

Really, at this moment, the feeling that was so dominant Kinara felt was a feeling of annoyance that was so passionate. There was no longer any sadness, anger or disappointment in what had happened between him and Atha. His life is fine now that he is surrounded by good people like Andanu, Astari, Sekala and the people of Orion.

Then, with Atha arbitrarily coming again, begging for forgiveness for the mistake that if they were given the opportunity to change positions, Kinara was sure that the young man would not be willing to give his forgiveness either. Isn't it natural that Kinara was now feeling upset?

"Fuck!" Kinara cursed, after a long time. From childhood, he was educated to talk only good things. But because she felt that Atha and all her irritation were already outrageous, Kinara felt that it was okay to curse at the young man once in a while.

"I'm trying to fix my life, yes, you just want to come again, complaining that your life is not happy. No, I don't know myself." His grunt, still in a state of complete nudity because actually he had not finished bathing. If Mama finds out, she will definitely be deeply rumored and lectured about the demons in the bathroom who will enjoy her body.

His Enchantment towards Atha had made his body seem invulnerable, no longer feeling the chill from the remnants of the water that he had moment ago splashed all over the body.

Another blow may come back from his lips, if only the cell phone that he had deliberately brought to the bathroom did not clink loudly cast a shadow containing a revenge plan that he would do if Atha dared to appear before him again.

Kinara did not try to guess who had sent her this hour message, instead she returned to splash water and smeared her whole body with soap foam and continued the ritual of bathing until it was completely clean.

After her entire body was cleared of dust and sweat, Kinara dried her body using a towel and immediately changed clothes. Only then did he pick up his cell phone that he had placed on a small shelf stuck to the bathroom wall.

While walking out of the bathroom, Kinara checked the incoming messages she had received in that moment.

Apparently, the message came from Sekala.

You sleeping?

If the time is expected, the man may have just reached home and sent him a message. So, in order to appreciate Sekala's efforts and ensure that she was fine, Kinara immediately typed in a reply.

Not, Mas. I just finished taking a shower.

Playing mobile while it is running is not good. Kinara should have remembered the advice that Mama always gave her, because not long after the reply she sent, Kinara was complaining of pain because her little finger was stifled by the foot of the dinner table.

"Sickness ..." he said, could only be heard by the demons of the house - who of course did not have enough care to deal with his grievances.

No pain in his pinky, the reply from Sekala has come again.

You took a shower last night? Not cold?

"Cold, atuh, Mas Kala. But yeah how, rather than not being able to sleep because his body itches." Her chatter, yet what she typed in return was of course different from what she had just chided.

Not very. Has Kala just arrived home?

As the pain in her pinky began to subside, Kinara decided to continue her steps. And since he did not want a similar incident to happen again, he kept the phone in his pants pocket as long as he walked to his room. It was only when he got to the room that the phone he took out again as he crawled up onto the bed.

Either Sekala is always fast response, or just tonight because he knows his condition is not good, the reply from the man always came in just seconds after the message he sent became a blue tick.

Yes, I just arrived. You go straight to sleep, don't stay up.

"Maunya juga gitu, Mas Kala," ocehnya lagi, kini sembari menyandarkan punggung ke headboard kasur.

Can't promise. He wrote, accompanied by sad emot as much as two seeds.

Furthermore, instead of another reply, Kinara instead found her phone ringing long, signaling an incoming call. On the screen, the name Sekala is real.

Kinara paused for a moment to draw and exhale, then straightened his back before finally shifting the green log.

"Hello?" sapana.

"Kin?" call Sekala.

"Yes, Mas Kala, why?"

"Do you want me to talk until I can sleep?"

Whatisthis? Either only his feelings, or Sekala's voice is indeed so sound different now. More heavy and deep sounding, which in the end again made Kinasa feel something foreign in his chest.

"Kin? Are you still there?"

"Yes, still."

"So, do I want to be with you or not?"

"Maybe?"

There was a long breath from across, before the sound of Sekala again melodious. "If I can't, I'm not going to nawarin, Kin."

Now, it was Kinara's turn to sigh. Yeah, too, anyway. If not, they will not offer. Ah, I don't know, Kinara's head is currently too messy because it sucks Atha. And, aggravated by a strange rumble that suddenly shrouded his chest the first time he heard Sekala's voice earlier.

"Yes," he then. After all, there was no harm in also chatting with Sekala now. Perhaps that way, he can gradually rearrange his feelings and also the contents of his chaotic head.

"What is it?"

Whoa, errat. Maybe he should go to bed soon. He forgot that Sekala could also be annoying on some occasions.

But lies. Kinara still wanted to talk to Sekala even though the man was annoying. So, he responded to Sekala's question with a longer explanation.

"Yes, I want to be accompanied by a conversation with Mas Kala."

...****************...

"Yes, I want to be accompanied by a conversation with Mas Kala."

She smiled as Kinara finally answered. From the tone of his voice, Sekala knew the girl for sure while muttering silently after answering her question. They did not know each other for long, but Sekala could already remember many details and habits that the girl often did.

"don't know. It was Kala who was looking for the topic. But don't be too heavy, yes, because my brain again can't be invited to compromise."

Almost Sekala burst into laughter as Kinara said that in a voice so innocent without sin. If I could guess, the expression of the girl now would have been no less innocent either.

"Hmmm .. What are some topics that are not too heavy, but can help your head get a little lighter?" it was not a question he had asked Kinara, so Sekala was not surprised when the girl did not reply.

Then, after considering many things, Sekala finally found a topic that would be suitable to be discussed today.

"Kin," he called.

"Yes? Did you know what to talk about?"

"Udah."

"So, about what?"

"Flamboyant Tree," he said.

Silence on the air long enough. Through the phone that is still connected, Sekala's sneak-sayup heard the sound of movement on the mattress. It seems, Kinara had just corrected the sitting position (or perhaps the rebound).

"Why the Flamboyant Tree?" kinara's voice sounded again after a few seconds had passed.

She smiled, pulled her gaze from the window and turned to look at the plain white ceiling of her room. "Why do you like Flamboyant trees? I see, you often take photos of the Flamboyant trees growing in front of Orion? Is that tree has something special?"

Actually, Sekala had long wanted to ask Kinara about this. As for himself, the Flamboyant tree in front of Orion had quite a deep meaning. The tree was there before Orion was built, and you could say that the Flamboyant tree has been a witness to the journey from the beginning of Orion stood (with himself who was then half destroyed) until now he and Orion both grew to become more good.

As curious as it may be, to others who are not tied to any history by the tree, what would make it seem interesting? In fact, if you think about it, Flamboyan trees include trees that are not recommended to be planted in residential areas or near buildings because the leaves will be very waste if it has begun to fall.

Across the street, Kinara still hasn't spoken. Presumably, the girl had enough trouble finding a fitting reason why the Flamboyant tree looked special. Or maybe, the girl just hasn't found the right match to describe her feelings.

In his place, Sekala did not mind to wait. He still patiently attached the phone to his ear, while watching his fingernails that had begun to extend and had not been cut.

I don't know how much time had passed when Kinara finally made a sound. Saying a line of sentences that then makes Sekala understand that some things do go like that. Not everything can be explained and has a clear reason.

With her voice sounding calmer than usual, Kinara said, "It's just .. beautiful."

Sekala's smile expanded, her head nodding involuntarily as a sign of approval. The tree is indeed beautiful, especially when the flowers have begun to bloom and sunlight when the afternoon blends nicely with the reddish color of the flower petals.

Sekala also often took a photo of the tree when the afternoon was approaching, for he kept it in the gallery and he looked at it when his heart was being crushed. As a tranquilizer when the bad days of a dozen years ago come back to him, presenting a nightmare that comes in his lonely nights.

"Why would Mas Kala want to know about it?"

"It's okay, I just want to know how other people see the tree. Because ... "

"Because?"

"The tree has its own meaning for me. Hence, I always resisted when Jeremy or Dimas fussily asked me to cut it down and replace it with another tree that didn't shed too many leaves."

"I don't know what history Mas Kala has with the tree, but from now on, I will help Mas Kala to protect it."

Mild rarity escaped from the lips of Sekala when he found solemnity in the voice of Kinara. And he knew that the girl really meant what he said.

"I'm serious, Mas Kala. I don't mind if I have to take the leaves that fall every day, as long as the tree stays there."

"No need to get to that, Kin. I've asked people to clean the leaves every two days."

"But you have to pay, right? If it's me, don't pay."

Just a thin smile. "Not anything pay, the calculation of sharing sustenance, right?"

For six full seconds, the atmosphere went back to silence. Until then Sekala heard the sound of breath from across.

"Why?" tanyanya, afraid just in case any of her words were wrongly accepted by Kinara.

But the answer that Kinara gave actually made him silent a thousand languages.

The girl said, "What is the heart Mas Kala made of, anyway? How can it be the same for everyone? Come to think of it again, I also never saw Mas Kala get angry."

If you knew, Kin. Mas Kala who you say cares about everyone and never gets angry, is the person who is the most evil to himself. He was willing to be lonely, willing to suffer alone just to make the people he loved stop hurting. Your beloved Kala is not as bright as you see every day. Life is stormy, Kin. He's just too smart to hide all that behind the sweet smile he always puts up for you and the people he meets.

"I'm not that good, so don't expect much." Sekala said after she finished contemplating herself.

"Yes, yeah. I know, really. All humans have their own defects. I just want to know, why Mas Kala can care so much about people, in the middle of the era of selfish humans who are usually just selfish." The babble sounded more like an outpouring of heart, which of course was inversely proportional to what Sekala had been feeling.

Just wondering, how can there be people who live to fulfill their own ego's satisfaction, at the expense of those they care about?

"I just ... don't know how to be selfish," for the first time in my life, that honest sentence came out of Sekala's lips, it was said to a girl who was much younger plus she had known him not long ago.

"You're learning to be selfish with me, aren't you? I also learned to be a selfish human being, Mas."

"If it can be unselfish, why learn to be selfish, Kin?"

"So, Mom, I've heard someone say that we should not be unjust to ourselves. For we are not our own, but God's, and we are to take care of all our hearts." At first thought, Kinara had already finished talking because the girl had been silent for quite a while.

But, just as he was about to open his mouth to respond, the girl made a sound again.

"Why think about the interests of others too much, if it ends up making us hurt ourselves? Good for other people, but evil to yourself is also not allowed, huh? Yeah, that doesn't mean we can be arbitrary with other people too, anyway. Just ... duh, how to explain it. In essence, there are some things that we must fight for ourselves, Mas."

Until here, Sekala still decided to keep quiet. He absorbed every sentence Kinara said and he digested it well in his brain. Then, the more he understood, the more he felt slapped.

One question started to pop into his head at this moment. How much has he hurt himself?

Seriate