INSECURE, Love of the Past
Actual occurrence

His mother sister Kayla still hugged Indra's mother, crying bitterly while continuing to say sorry.

"Mother, why keep apologizing? What's mom's fault?" Asked the father who saw him still hugging his wife.

Sister Kayla's mother took off her embrace from her mother and wiped her tears. Indra's mother was sitting in the chair beside her father, as was Kayla's mother. He took out Kak Kayla's diary from his bag and handed the diary to her mother, saying,

"I'm sorry, sir, Mom. I have failed to become a parent and failed to educate my only child named Kayla. Until he loses his mind and can't think clearly. He's been obsessed with Indra, father's son and mother." He said, bowing his head and crying.

"What's this about? What exactly is going on?" Ask dad.

We were all silent, no one could explain this. Until I was shocked when I read the contents of Kak Kayla's diary.

"Allah, Astagfirullah." Said mom while stroking her chest.

"Why Ma'am?" Ask dad.

Dad read the diary, and his face became a reddish.

"Astaghfirullah's.. Astarghfirullah's.. Azaghfirullah." I was shocked to see the diary.

I don't know what it was, which I'm sure I'm sure that it was about the accident. And I don't want to read it, it's too painful to see the fact that it's Kak Kayla. For years I blamed myself, years I was tormented, years I couldn't move on and this heart wound is still wet even though it's been a long time.

"I'm sorry, sir, Mom. I didn't know Kayla would be that close. If I had known the spirit of Kayla who loved Indra and wanted to eliminate Mary, I would have prevented her. I didn't know it was going to be like this in the end. Forgive me, my law is that my father and mother cannot forgive Kayla, my son."

Sister Kayla's mother knelt before her father and mother while crying tears. I can't bear to see her like that because her mother is completely innocent. Dad seemed to be trying so hard to hold back his emotions, dad tried to hold back his turbulent heart.

While the mother continued to cry while saying the name Indra. Several times she rubbed her tears flowing down her cheeks.

I glanced at Brother Ivan who was still holding my hand, Brother Ivan winked at me as if saying that I should be strong and strong. I nodded my head even though this heart was very sore, my heart was like it was pierced by many thorns.

I looked towards Sister Sandra, she looked very sorry for not being able to prevent Kak Kayla at that time. He turned his face outwards and I saw the teardrops drenching his cheeks.

"Sir, Mum. Please just punish me if it can make a little atonement for his mistake, I'm willing Mom. If you can't forgive my son, I will do anything to make him and me forgive my son." Say sister Kayla's sobbing mother.

Now mom is sitting next to her mom Kayla. Mother said,

"Mom, what happened let it happen.. We have been sincere, there is no point also we punish the mother who has nothing to do with this incident. We are very surprised to know the truth, but we are sure of everything that happened with God's permission. It is our destiny to lose our only son, although we are very sad about Indra's departure but we must be sincere."

"Even now that we punish mother, it will not be able to return Indra to us. And I think it only harms me myself, because I've had my revenge and my dzolim to innocent people. Now I've forgiven you, and you don't have to feel guilty about any of this."

Mother's words left us all flabbergasted. I thought mom and dad would get angry and have a fight. But the reality is quite the opposite, the mother and father are sincere and do not want to extend this problem anymore. I salute the attitude of the father and mother who are very wise, I just got very angry at all, Ivan when he knew all this.

I feel guilty when I am angry with Ivan for not telling me. Though clearly Ivan did not know and had nothing to do with the incident that befell Indra.

Sister Kayla's mother was moved by her mother's words, and repeatedly thanked her and clasped her hands. Maybe he thought that mom would sue him but the opposite was true.

I feel more and more longing for Indra, the best lover of my past who is always stored in my heart. I have always loved him at any time, because Indra's kindness, sincerity and sacrifice for me still vividly remembered in my memory.

But as much as possible I should hide this from Brother Ivan. However, Brother Ivan is my lover now and I have to take care of his heart. I love you too, Brother, love you so much. I don't want to lose you, lose the person I love for the second time. But I'm sorry that my love for you is not as great as my love for Indra.

Because the journey of my love story and Indra is very memorable, from starting to become friends in the class who always listen to my complaints, knowing my good and bad habits, and also my bad habits, even when I was having problems and not telling anything, Indra could feel what I was feeling.

When I couldn't do schoolwork, Indra was always there for me. When I keep pampering, he always acts silly so that I don't sulk anymore. And it really made me miss him a lot, miss the wonderful moments with him.

After my father and mother forgave Kak Kayla, we decided to go home, because Kak Kayla's mother had to return to Paris to take care of her move to Indonesia. Likewise with me and Ivan, we say goodbye to mother, father, and also Riri.

My mother told me to visit her often. And I'm glad that mom and dad still treat me well even though I'm not with Indra anymore.

Honey, this house was a silent witness when I first told you about my past trauma that kept me insecure, and you gave me the spirit that beauty is not just about the face, it's about the face, but most importantly his heart.

You're the first person to let go of the many years I've endured and have no place to share with anyone, but you can make me believe and share my long-standing grief.

I love you more than anything Indra, I love you so much whenever I will love you Muhammad Ravindra Yudistira.

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