INSECURE, Love of the Past
ICT repetition

As I was daydreaming, the senses came suddenly and shocked me. I was so surprised!!

"MAR."

My heart dag dig dug was so shocked.

"Astagfirulah.. Indra.. You why the hell ngagetin me that, males so much huh." I said while a manyun.

Indra felt guilty for making me shocked and angry with her, she apologized.

"Sorry mar. Abisnya from earlier I called not answered. Tuh the Kia why diem aja from earlier like a chicken again mermaid (sick) not like usual."

"It's okay. Don't bother him, you're sad again."

I pulled Indra's arm away from Kia, because I knew she didn't want to be disturbed by her friends. Than he's raging.

"Mar, you're okay, right?" Indra asked who attached her face to look at my sad face.

I know Indra must have felt that I was sad. Indra always knows what I feel, she's the best friend who always understands how to deal with this ababil me.

"I'm okay." I replied in a lethargic tone, because of my emotions that I could not bear. I would love to cry.

"Kok you cry? Why?" Indra touched my cheeks gently and continued to look into my teary eyes.

"Me, me.." My eyes glazed.

Just want me to answer the sensory questions, Mr. Erick is at the door and the kids are breaking up. Sit in each place as well as me and Indra. I immediately wiped away my tears that had not fallen.

"Today reiterate chapter 3 on Microsoft powerpoint. I ask you not to make noise and disturb other classes. Do it yourself and no one is cheating!"

"Good sir." Answer friends in unison.

"good. Maria, hand out the paper."

"Yes sir."

I was busy handing out paper to my friends. After handing out the paper, I returned to my seat. I saw Indra give me a code so I would accept the answer if I couldn't answer that.

I just shook my head and I saw him smile at me. Indra's sweet smile, makes me feel baper. I returned her smile, and I saw Indra's happy looking expression seeing me smile.

Thank God for the sake of me doing well. Nothing is difficult because I learned it last night and have memorized it out of my head. I saw Indra was already ahead a sign that he had finished this task.

I'm not surprised because every ICT replay must be the first one to finish working on it. Indra is the master of this lesson.

Indra waved her hand and I approached her who was waiting in the cafeteria. Looks lonely because the other classes are being repeated, there are only the two of us and the canteen guard.

Seeing me coming, Indra immediately got up from her seat and gave me a mineral water.

"Nih drink first must be thirsty abis replay earlier."

I took a drink that Indra loved and sat on the bench that she was sitting on while Indra stood in front of me. I drank it and thanked him.

"Thank you, yeah." I said while looking at his handsome face.

"Yes alike. Just like who is just a drink. Want some junk? Let me buy it."

I just shook my head and kept quiet. Indra who saw me like that was about to ask but she seemed to ponder because she understood that my emotions were currently being messed up.

I who was sitting on the bench bowed my head. And Indra who was standing in front of me stroked my hair gently. Fortunately I have shampooed so fragrant if not shampooing can be even more embarrassed me.. Ugly, smelly hair again.!

But why is Indra so attentive to me? Baper is so. I wanted to feel it but I was scared and embarrassed, because this was the first time I was close to a boy in school let alone that boy was the idol of all the girls in my school.

Although in 7A class there was a man who was close to me but was only a friend and now he is in 9B class, Ari's name. I was very close to him first but somehow he seemed to turn away from me and keep his distance.

I rarely communicate with him because he is busy with his friends.

But with the senses of the 7th, 8th, and 9th class continue to be the same he is. I also knew Indra had approached me before, but I never responded as I do now. I always cut him off and keep my distance. I'm afraid to fall in love with him!!

Not because I'm selling expensive or pretentious, but more to not be confident. Indra was handsome so many of my classmates and classmates liked him. But what I saw was Indra never responding to their feelings and Indra was only close to me and Kia.

I don't want to if I just baper and kegeeran only because Indra is always close to me does not mean he is in love, right? We're just best friends and I'm trying to keep my feelings from falling in love with her.

Indra always said that she liked me but I could not believe it and felt that she was just joking. He always said that he loved me but I thought that unfortunately it was a feeling of affection for friends.

I must admit that Indra has always been there for me. We are like lovers where there is Indra there is Mary, and vice versa. A lot of people say we're dating but I always say no to them. Unlike Indra who always agree with their perception.

We are like stamps that are always attached anywhere. Kia also once said that Indra seemed very sincere about loving me. Kia felt that Indra really loved me but I dismissed the Kia presumption.

As long as Indra hasn't said her true feelings seriously I won't take them. Because I was afraid, afraid of embarrassment because I expected a handsome and kind man like Indra who is liked by many girls everywhere because of his good looks.

Indra just kept looking at me with her worried look. He always looks at me like that when he sees me sad. He was always worried about me who always couldn't control my unstable emotions.

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