INSECURE, Love of the Past
Maria Empress

"Hey, what else?" Ask Indra, my classmate.

"Dream, again bete." Answer me. Then he came closer and sat down beside me.

"You want to play ga? We're going to Curug yuk. (Water plunging)" Smiling and looking at me.

"Males ah, fear. Time just two doang, later in the thought of our friends dating again." Without looking at her, I was busy tidying up the messy books on the table and stuffing them into the bag. Because this is the last lesson and soon to be home.

"It's okay to date, hehe" she replied casually.

"The boy in you is not good at me!" I was sorry to hear Indra's reply.

I threw the type x in my hand at him and he caught it, but he just had a vague smile. From the door my friends ran to the classroom because Miss Vina the math teacher had arrived. Indra also returned to his bench.

As the lesson progressed he threw papers and about my best friend, Kia.

"Who the hell is throwing paper gini no work really." His grunts while picking up the paper that fell under and in his absence of the paper.

"Based on the semprull!! Mar, here's a letter to you from the Indra tuh use throw-throw everything."

I took the paper and read it,

'Mar, go home to school wait a minute, don't go straight home, I want to say something to you, okay.'

I glanced at him and he smiled again.

Me, Maria Maharani. Class 9A at my favorite SMPN. All my male friends always call me Maria Ozawa, because she says my voice is like a sigh. It sucks them so much, I'm embarrassed to be called that way.

I feel like my voice is mediocre. The reason is just because I am easily amused, so they are always fad-pink my waist. And I reflexively like to yell 'Ah, Ah'. Because it feels really good. Be until now I've always been on the same ledekin them.

I am a little girl, I weigh 35 kg and my height is only 150 cm. Including thin and short among my friends who have a height as high as for the size of Junior High.

Actually my skin is clean but not white, a little brownish that makes me feel more and more unwell. Because I always felt ugly.

All of my girlfriends were almost 160 cm tall, white, and sharp-nosed. While I have none of them as a plus point. Haha.. Ngenes once my life.!

But in terms of intelligence, I was among the smartest among my classmates. Even the whole class always cheat if there is PR or repetition, they always fuss over asking for cheat.

Yes, although I feel ugly, but I am appreciated for my cleverness. No one even dares to antagonize me, because if they antagonize me, they will no longer be able to cheat.

It can be said that I was only used because the brain was smart, if I was stupid I might have been ostracized. Maybe!! I don't know.

"Well kids, your job is to do chapter 5 on page 47 logarithm. From no 1 to 20, continue until number 10. Thursday should be done and put it on mom's desk." Said Mrs Vina.

"Good Mom." Answer the students simultaneously.

Miss Vina passed by after we read prayers and greetings.

Indra came to me and drove Kia away.

"Yes, there I want to talk to Maria."

"OK on ready."

"Here you go home!!" Said Indra who even drove out Kia.

Indra glanced at Kia who was away from us, and she smiled at me and asked,

"Mar, let's go for Sunday. Where do you want to play?"

"Emh, how is it. I don't want to play with you, I just don't care."

I bow my head. But Indra came closer and saw my face.

"Why not pede? Why are you?"

"I don't care if you walk the same way, you are handsome. If I walk with you, I will be attracted to people. I thought I used pellet science to walk the same handsome guy!"

"Haha.. Do you not, indeed, spit my pellet?" Indra even laughed that thought it was funny and teased me.

"Yes I'm your pellet!! Then you keep sticking, right the same with me? Love dies, is it just like me?" I spoke because I was upset with Indra who kept teasing me.

"Kok you know what? I love to die with you!!" Indra even smiled to see me who was upset with him.

"Au ah dark. Joking isn't funny.!!" I said cynically and blotted my lips.

"I'm really Mar." Indra replied with a serious expression, as if saying that his words were not a lie and were true.

"Slave..!!" I turned my face away and left. Because I don't believe what he said. But Indra pulled my hand and she got out of her seat to stand up to me.

"Yes, you don't have to be too horrified said people, not good baperan ya." Indra rubbed my hair and we became face to face.

"You are also very tall. If I want to see you have to look up first, cangeul (Pegel) know not my neck." I said with a frown and saw his face that was right above my head.

"Geez you are so funny Mar!! Then let me just carry it. Pliss.. We're playing it." Indra pinched my cheek, a habit she always had when she saw me upset. He begged me with a hopeful look.

'Duh, really handsome you Dra if gini.' Maria

"Later, I thought first, I'll be told tonight. Now I go home first yes, it's late afternoon too." I want to get away from there to hold back my feelings so as not to fall in love with the handsome Indra.

"I'm Anter ya." Indra offered to drive me, but I refused.

"No need, deket!! Yes already. Assalamualaikum." I immediately went away from him and waved my hand at him.

"Getishalight." Answer Indra.

I looked towards Indra who was still standing at the spot. She smiled at me who kept walking away from her.

'If you knew Mar, I would love you. But you never realized it. Every time I express my feelings, you always think it's just a joke. Later when the time is right, I will express my feelings in a romantic way.' Inner Indra.

...****************...