INSECURE, Love of the Past
Feel guilty

* POV Indra *

I saw Maria in so much pain, I was worried and sorry to have brought her to a place like this. Maria phobias are just like animals like lizards, worms and other slithering animals. Every time he saw a lizard, he was always screaming in fear.

I felt so guilty that I could not take good care of her, but I promised my mother and her mother to take good care of her. I feel I can't protect my woman, the woman I love so much. I have to apologize to Maria. I can't bear to see his pain.

"Mar, I'm really sorry. I can't take care of you, I can't even play to a place like this." I bowed my head to tell her I felt guilty.

"It's not your fault. You really take care of me. I should be thanking you because you're carrying me. You must have gotten rid of me because you carried me." Mary answered and defended me.

I saw his face still in pain. I sat down next to her and touched her delicate cheek, "No, I'm glad I could carry you. The girl I love." My words just made her blush in shame, her cheeks were red and it made me want to tease her.

"Your cheeks are red, make me like you even more." I whispered in his ear.. And I laughed to see it misbehaving so, funny.

"Indra's... I'm ashamed to know. Don't fuck me like that." Maria pushed my face very close to her.

"Yes. Sorry yeah.. Mar, someday if I'm working, I'll take you to a beautiful place that won't make you feel this pain." I sat back in a normal position.

Mary laughed when I said that. I'm glad he can laugh like that, which means he's not angry or upset with me.

"Why laugh Mar?"

Maria stopped her laughter. "You are weird. We are still in the 3rd grade of Junior High School who will soon enter High School, still very long into the world of work. 3 More years if we do not go to college if the first college can be longer work."

I held her cheeks that made her anxious. "You don't have to go out of school, baby. I can work side jobs later, can join a cousin to the workshop or open a personal computer course for elementary school children. What could it be. Aren't you?"

"Yes, yes, too. You are also a pinter haha."

It's funny Maria laughed, I couldn't stop looking at her.

Although my status is unclear, but I feel comfortable enough like this.

If he accepts me, I won't let him get hurt in the slightest either his heart or his physique. And I will always make her happy and laugh. I can't see him sad, hopefully he can decide what's best for him.

If he rejects me, I will not change and will always be there for him. Even if one day she has a boyfriend, I will always be her best friend who will not leave her alone.

* POV Indra End

I am so happy today. It turns out that I am not just a paper and kegeeran, Indra really loves me. Did I dream of being loved by a man like Indra? I still can't believe Indra will express her feelings to me.

Indra is a man who is not only handsome face, but also his heart. He's the dream man of all women. I'm sure no one will be able to resist Indra's charm, let alone her very sweet smile.

I saw Indra regretting taking me to Curug. I don't blame her at all, I'm happy. I'm happy because Indra's sincerity loves and loves me. He did not see me from his physical alone and I also do not know why Indra can love me since the 1st grade Junior High.

What are my advantages? Even though his classmates are more beautiful, which is the same as him. Unlike me who is like brothers who do not deserve me side by side with him. Physically, it is also very different.

Indra has pure white skin, while I although clean but my skin tends to brown. That's why I never considered all Indra's treatment to be love, fear of hurt.

But Indra really sincerely loves me, I should not waste people who love me. And again Indra has harbored his feelings for a long time, it proves that he is a loyal person. If he wants, he can get a girlfriend who is more everything than me. Who wouldn't want to be the same Indra? Every woman wants to have a boyfriend like Indra.

Thank you Indra for loving me sincerely and for who I am. I'm still afraid to answer that very sincere feeling of yours. I'm afraid of people's skewed comments that I'm dating you. But I also don't have to listen to their negative comments right?

I also deserve to be happy even with a mediocre face. Everyone will definitely feel strange seeing we can date, especially the girls who always try to approach you. They will always shine on me.

Ahhe.. I'm still dizzy to give you the answer. But I also feel lucky to be loved by you who have always been there for me. You always make me comfortable and understand what you have to do when I'm emotional.

I don't think it's wrong to give you a chance to prove your point. May my choice be not wrong, and may you be faithful to me forever until death do us part.

Even though I know we just went to high school, but I don't want to feel the heartache of being betrayed and left behind by someone I love so much. I don't want to get hurt because of that handsome face of yours, even though I also know you never respond to people who shoot you.

I hope I can be first and last for you, there is no gap for the third person in our relationship. I don't want us to hurt each other in this relationship, because if the heart is already hurt it will be difficult to heal it.

It takes time to heal a gaping heart wound, one that no one ever expected. Because each of us is hurt by love, life is meaningless. I don't want that to happen and I want to be happy with you, FOREVER..

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