INSECURE, Love of the Past
Approaching

It's been one week that I didn't go to school, losing Indra has really discouraged me. Mamah always comforts me but I still have no spirit anymore. Daffa also always came to my house to just ask me to joke but not work.

Today is Sunday. I was alone in the room recalling all the fond memories of Indra. I smiled considering how gentle Indra's attitude was. Will I ever get a lover like Indra? Who was never rude and always treated me well? I'm afraid because my mediocre face is getting a man who's bad attitude and nature. Keep me away from such a man, O God.

Geck, tok, tok..

Geck, tok, tok..

"Who's been seeing you in the morning. Come to the market too."

I opened the door and saw Brother Ivan in front of my house.

"Sister Ivan? Do you know my house?"

"Yes, I know from Daffa. Why don't you go on in? I'm back and forth to your class."

"Sit down, brother, I'm in. Take a drink first."

As I was about to go inside, my hand was pulled by Brother Ivan until I turned to face Brother Ivan. I raised my head to look at the expectant face of Brother Ivan. Then Brother Ivan said, "I want you to still have spirit even though the person you love is gone".

I let go of Brother Ivan's hand which was still coiled around my waist. I did not answer Brother Ivan's words and went straight in to get a drink.

"I'll take a drink first Brother for a moment". Brother Ivan sat on the porch seat after I went inside. Then after taking a drink, I sat down next to Brother Ivan.

Brother Ivan looked at me with a pity."You're getting thinner, aren't you eating?"

"No appetite, brother."

I'm unmoving..

Put my head down.

"Eagerness yes. Don't despair. Many love you. Play yuk."

"But.. I'm not going out, brother."

"I'm taking you to a beautiful place. Let's not keep daydreaming. How's it?"

"Wait mamah first Kak, again to the market because."

How long it takes, Mamah to go home. Mamah looked at Ivan and smiled. Then I told my mother that Ivan wanted to take me to play. Mom allowed it too.

I changed into a white short t-shirt, navy jeans, and a matching jacket. I also left with Ivan on the motorcycle.

At first glance, Ivan's brother was Indra. I remember every day talking to Indra.

As the motor drove, I hugged Ivan from behind. I shed my tears until I felt calm. Ivan seemed to realize that I was crying. Then Brother Ivan parked his bike on the side of the road.

"You sad Mar? Do you want to come down first?"

I shook my head, then the motor drove again at moderate speed. Brother Ivan took me to the beach. It takes 3 hours to get to the beautiful beach. I got off at a diner. Before going to the beach, I ate with Ivan.

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