INSECURE, Love of the Past
Love in the Heart

* POV Indra *

I pulled Maria's hand to take her to class. In class it looks very quiet, maybe friends are resting. Usually if the repetition in the first hour is directly a break so it can refresh the brain that has been hot most think of a repeat.

I sat down next to Maria. We kept quiet and not a word came out of both of our mouths.

I love Maria, not just like her, but I really love her. But it seems like he is not aware of all my treatment of him.

I don't know what was always on his mind, he always thought my declaration of love was just a joke. Somehow I was able to convince her that I really loved her.

Maria is smart, all the lessons always get almost perfect grades. There's never been a lesson in remedial, but he's always insecure. Always feel the ugliest woman in the world. But to me she is the most beautiful woman in the world and I love her very much.

Convincing Maria to always accept what is is very difficult. I've been close to him for 2 years. And all that time I struggled to convince Maria to be confident. I always watch his every attitude.

I felt like there was a past trauma that left him insecure and insecure. I don't know what it is, he never told me anything. And I never mentioned what happened to her because I felt I had no right to find out the cause.

Although I also wonder what really happened to Maria that made her always feel like the ugliest woman. But I think I should find a good time to ask about this, because it's a sensitive matter for him.

I want to express this affection to him now, but now is not the right time for that. I've loved it for a long time even from the first time I was in a class with her I always noticed her. But Maria never responded to my abnormal attitude because of this love.

Two years I've harbored this feeling there's no woman like Maria. In this 9th grade I was in class again with him, yes 3 years I was in class with him. I'm very happy and I'm always comfortable being near Maria. He's a nice, supple guy, and never a stingy one.

In this class he began to respond to my attitude. As I got closer to her, I began to know a little about the nature of Mary. Begin to understand how to handle it when he is angry, sad, and upset. I knew little by little and without me knowing it, I could feel what he felt even though he said nothing to me.

When she's angry or upset, I can't talk to her just yet. Let him calm down and then talk to him. Speak softly and calm him. Although his emotions are unstable, but if Mary is angry never long. A few hours later he forgot and went back to his usual attitude.

That's what makes him unique, he's not a vengeful person. Even if someone hurt her easily she forgave him. Although he had always nagged before but it was only in his mouth. His heart was very kind and he was never arrogant because of his cleverness.

When he was sad, I should always be by his side, listening to all his complaints and his chatter that sometimes made me want to laugh because of his exaggerated expression. I always rubbed her hair when she was sad and I also always held her when she was crying. I want him to always feel comfortable around me.

I'm ready to be his backstop at all times. Be the person you look for when you feel sad and lonely. Even though I'm just his best friend but I'm very happy to have been close to him for almost a year now. Because from the 1st grade I was already expecting to be able to get close. But only get close to him during the 2nd grade of semester 2.

I don't know if Maria can feel my love and concern for her or not. Because all this time he considered our status as friends only.

I kept looking at Maria's face. To be honest, Maria is not very beautiful. But her face is so cute that the more she looks the sweeter and less boring. Who had not liked after continuing to see it would immediately like let alone his excellent personality.

Mary always said she was ugly. Though not at all, his face can be said to be above standards. It's just that her body is tiny, so if I hold her just to the chest and I feel happy if I can make her smile. His smile made me like him even more.

Maria was aware as I kept looking at her and she looked nervous. I like it, hehe.

"Why do you watch me keep like that? I'm so ugly, aren't I?" Maria asked with a flat expression. It's so sweet that I saw it.

"Masa? No way.!! I'm ugly while you're handsome like a Korean artist." Maria turned her face away from me. And I know he doesn't feel confident to see me.

"Seriously!! Nothing is impossible if God wills, right?"

"Yes anyway.. I'm also glad you're always there for me." Maria's words just made me feel so meaningful to her.

"I'll always be there for you no matter what." I saw him a little surprised by the answer I gave just now.

"Huh?"

And immediately the atmosphere became quiet again.

Crickets, Crickets, Crickets,.

"What will you pick me up next Sunday?" Mary asked, breaking the silence.

"Pake motor is the walking time. If it's a car, I don't have it."

"But you never take a motorcycle to school." Ask wonder.

"Can't be the same mom, don't have a SIM yet."

"Well, if there's a cop at the ticket, how? We are both underage and do not have a ID card and SIM. Take an angkot."

"Yes also yes even added danger if playing with a motorbike does not have the same SIM ID card. Do you really want to take the angkot? Is it okay?"

"Yes, that's okay. I also ride the lot."

"OK deh. Mar, I'll come home with you."

"Why?"

"Know your home. Don't I know what house you're going to pick up yet?"

"Yes yes. Okay, that's it."

The entrance bell rang, now English lessons and I went to my seat. All my friends have come and sat on their benches.

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