If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 67 - Loss of happiness

Firefighters and police are all around me

A striking color and a noisy voice filled my body

WHAT ABOUT MY MIND?!

...----------------...

This is what if you're already tired. What can you try, right?

Being evil? don't forget about it. Bun*h himself? maybe it should be too

Everyone would fall into the same thing if something like this happened to them

The truth will disappear, hatred will overflow. All the negative things will win

...****************...

I thought I had fallen from there. There's no way anyone's going down, too far to get there in minutes

But where did all this stuff come from?

If I hadn't sent a letter, maybe this wouldn't have happened? but I want to say goodbye! I didn't even tell you the address where I was

In other words. My mind was filled with hallucinations. Which causes me to "think" that I'm over now

See how happy I am when I step foot into death. In fact, I fell unconscious right before falling, and even fainted behind the cliff

There was no hope of falling, for there was a possibility that I would be secured

.

I was questioned by the police about the reason why I did it, while I didn't know the real reason I did it.

The police are asking me for a definite reason. And I always answer the same thing. "I'm tired, I don't know anything"

maybe the police don't understand, but I know exactly what I mean

.

I don't expect them to understand, just make sure that they're satisfied with my statement and that I'll leave this place

:"Then thank you, remember not to repeat it again"

:"Okay sir, thank you very much" I replied

Honestly, I am still amazed at what I do. Jump like that, and what I think. Meanwhile, if it becomes a problem, it will certainly be more complicated

I forgot to think about what would happen if I jumped.

Forgetting everything because all I thought about was how to solve my problem.

Aware of mistakes, all I think about now is a new way to get me out of this situation

How to get out of the world without disturbing other humans. Didn't bother them? Doesn't make a sound? the more wrong, the worse, the stranger.

.

Right after all, I returned home disappointed. As if all my plans had failed, I didn't want them at all.

The sympathy of the people who saw the incident irritated me. "Useless" my mind says it

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

Morning comes. I just saw it strangely. Obviously, after all, I thought I'd die there.

.

Confused by this strange feeling, I again paid a visit to the psychologist to check my own sanity.

...****************...

:"Happiness will come, so can you promise not to repeat it, again?"

:"No. Me, us. Won't know what's going to happen next. If I renege on that promise, then I deserve to die, don't I?"

:"You are too persistent in your principles"

:"Because that's me. Not that they don't want to, but problems can also make everything messy. So I'm really sorry. I can't promise"

:"I'm sad if that happens"

:"I'll bring you some chocolate before it happens, for you."

:"I just want to receive good news from you"

:"There can be no good news for me. Because everything's not right"

:"Sure, but keep telling me, I always listen"

:"Yes, anything for you. The doctor. Thanks"

The counseling ended. With the drugs I have to bring home. In other words, "healer"

.

Asking myself for help now is useless, there must be something to make my mind recover

...****************...

At home, I went straight to my room and cried there. It felt like failure was sticking in my body

Chaotic mind and body that keeps shaking

I tried many times to think that my safety was the most important thing. As the doctor said, happiness will come.

Just thinking of ways to survive

I'm sure many of you don't like this life. So that your mind will make it seem as if life is a mistake

The spirit was lost, and the fire was extinguished. Your heart is broken

Lying to calm down, mistakes spread. The ugliness begins to be done, the disease self-harm continues.

Kindness even looks bad for you

"Damn" that's what you're gonna think.

.

:"Nimbulin disease only, make stress"

I decided to go to bed after that. In the hope that you will not have a bad dream.

Moreover, I already hate myself.

It feels like saying goodbye is more suitable for me, right?

Goodby. We'll see you tomorrow

...****************...

Hello again, back to what will be my story this time

Can I write down everything I feel? I ask myself of course

Even talking strangely doesn't help at all. Writing also makes me tired

And they simply say that quitting all of this is the best way

.

Oh yeah, do you know? I went to school as usual. You can hear the story of school children in general now.

I don't look like a child in general. I just hope to get back to normal. Because I'm tired

Yeah, correct. I'm getting ready for school.

After that incident? will anyone care? looky. Not even my mother could say anything more about my bun*h case

My father could only be silent. Shahiro? he still has to take care of his own health. He has promised

What about cookies? I'm sure you guys know that he's in his dorm.

...----------------...

Welcome to dream academy.

:"Hanabbi! I heard the news. What's the problem???? please don't just leave me!!!" Lily came and hugged me quickly

:"You want to kill me? i'm suffocating!"

:"ah! ii'm sorry. Why did you do that?! you made me cry all night!!"

:"I'm sorry. But there's no need to worry. I've taken a new drug"

:"What really should be with medicine?"

:"The only way out is this sedative. I can what?"

Yeah, I brought the medicine. Of course, so that no serious problems occur

Lily and I went to class. Kenzo and Rion came in haste and asked about the same incident

My explanation remains the same. But somehow I'm happy when they worry about me like this

And after passing that conversation. Rion took us to a restaurant that had just opened after school.

We agreed and after that the first hour bell was rung

.

Sweetness of my friendship. At least I'm still in a lucky state about this

I thought, before it was messed up with other negative things

~Ch 67 finish~

Sankyu!