If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 51-Shadow

The words I keep in me, bowing to my unfortunate fate. If you ask me, am I bored? do I want to recover? then the answer is only one, "YES". Actually it is not difficult, only sometimes unexpected things come to create panic inside

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I took my phone, made a new quote at the time

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Related to the desire to hurt yourself. And also connect with people around

Hello you, who turned out to be unconscious again empty, where you are increasingly difficult to think and feel empty. Want to cry do not want to be angry and do not want to be angry either

Sampe finally malem-malem or the next day, even the thought of barcodes even worse

How's things? Healthy?? Hope healthy yes

Know why? We act like that?. No, not because of our thoughts. But sometimes, there are problems that remind us, or suddenly in the chat contents they are "free" think of themselves. So painful it feels, suddenly emptiness comes mengelematinin us from it all. Although the effect is self-harm which is said to be "solutions"

You are spirit yes

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That's how it is

After that, I slept as usual. Of course, with a vacuum that hit all my brains of course

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

It's been 2 days, do you believe? 24 Hours there is only self-harm that attacks, so all I think about is hurting myself or finding a place to mat*

and it lasted until 2 days

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:"Hanabi, let's go yuk! I found a new shop in the mall. Like a home decoration shop, I see a lot of aesthetic goods. I'm sure you like it" Lily told me all.

:"Jude, I'm ordinary. I want to buy stuff like that. Create a collection"

:"Well!! okay, I'll pick it up later. We use a car, because the weather is cloudy again today"

:"Okay then"

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When I'm done getting ready, I call Lily. Ask me where I should wait

He simply replied "wait in front of your house huh" happily

Missed a few minutes

Busy with my cell phone, Suddenly the car horn sounded

:"Hanabi I have arrived!!" Said enthusiastically

Lily got out of her car and said goodbye to my parents, then led me to the car

:"Hey slow down" I said

...****************...

Until the destination, Lily asked the driver to go home first

:"Be careful sir"

:"Thank you sir, be careful on the road" I spontaneously said it too

After that, we went to the mall

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While we were looking around, we met Kenzo and Rion. With a girl we don't know

:"That's them, right?"

I pointed, and Lily turned her head

I don't know what he's thinking, maybe he's jealous? because Kenzo was holding the girl's hand

:"Oh yes, from the beginning of my guess will be friendzone"

His murmuring rang out until my ears

:"RION! KENZO!!"

I screamed, running towards them

:"Eh?! waito!!"

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:"Well, got a thump?" I said, trying to find a definite answer

:"Gebony? this one? this is mah adek gw"

:"Hello sister"

:"Pftt, I still ngakak adek you higher" Rion held back a laugh

:"I guess he's your girlfriend, hello deck. What's your name?" Lily blatantly

:"Ah, I'm Liza. Brother Kenzo likes you, he's often n-"

:"NO, HE'S KIDDING AJAAA" Kenzo's fake smile spread there

Obviously, to our surprise, a Kenzo was good at covering up, even though we knew

After that, we decided to take a walk in the mall together. Buy lots of stuff and food, play games there. Taking photos together. We do a lot of things there

Until it is time for us to go home

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Why does time feel short? why is that so annoying?

I was just thinking at a glance, that maybe I could get better because of this. But it was only after the journey was over that I got worse. I hate being abandoned

Why does time pass so quickly? even the night showed at 9. We have to go home.

If time stops, life is lost.

Just grateful.

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

In the evening

You should take anti-depressant medication again

At least I was just following the doctor's advice, otherwise I would be gone halfway. You know what that means isn't

My life is different now, but only a little

In the morning I woke up and took a shower, took the anti-depressant medication and wrapped my provisions. During the day I was still at school, in the break I ate a little something in the stock. Then buy a lot of snacks in the canteen. In the afternoon, I go to school. If Lily takes me away, I'm coming. If not, I go to the mall myself

Until night comes. At 21:30 I just got home

And so is the round of time that I don't want to change anymore because I'm lazy

:"It's not over, you need time"

I'm just watching TV, Dad. I've been watching the popular hero series lately

I like the typical dialogue, but also the meaning, of course

But to be honest, want any series, I still like ultraman. I think ultraman is the best. Even if people say it's just for kids

I love every meaning in every kind of movie, if it really exists

But I also don't like the meaning of romance, it irritates me

Remember that people's tastes are different. If you don't accept it, you'd better be a space creature

It feels really upset. No more excuses at night

At least I always hope every night, so that depression does not act. Because I'm too tired to handle it. It's so hard to sleep, I can't even concentrate because of it

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I went to the kitchen, got a drink

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Brother told me that I can make my own kebabs now, he's already bought all the ingredients

And the kebab meat is replaced with the beef that is usually in the grill, really. I don't know his name

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I spent all the materials that night, I got 6 kebabs with a big size

I took her to my room with my drink

Then eat it in my room quietly, while enjoying the ultraman I love so much

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May you be well, all the time

I hope from the bottom of my heart

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I'm not lying, I need motivation now. They really can't work together.

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I finished all the kebabs, put them in the kitchen and washed the trays (big dishes?)

Then back to the room, staring. And the mind begins to attack

Again and again, I can only give up and understand. Even if I end up scraping myself.

~ch51 finish~

Sankyu!