If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 15-Not yet ended

if this is the truth, then I will continue like this forever.

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:"the ceiling, you are beautiful in the morning, afternoon, evening, or night. Can you tell me how? I want to look beautiful like you" said Hanabi still looking at the night sky

:"so big window, can you imagine? if this window is associated with life" he said again talking to himself while turning to the already open window

they are open and closed, they will be left again after her. Sometimes I think, what is the use of windows? they're all over the place.

:"hey! lookit! I'll make sure this time my ball goes in the net!!!"

:"YEAHAHH!! YULL!!"

:"you're too fast!"

:"do not daydream! haha"

:"they were so happy just because they were just playing ball" inner hanabi saw other children who were busy playing ball.

:"ah, there's a flower" inner hanabi took a flower on the ground

:"it is still very clean, still looks beautiful and blooming" inner hanabi noticed the flower she was holding

:"maybe this just fell" her inner self again

hanabi left the field and returned to her home

walkable

:"the flower matches the clear sky, or perhaps if the sky is dark, it deserves to shine" the inner hanabi lifts the flower towards the cloudy sky (while walking)

:"what will this wither.." murmured hanabi

hanabi got to her house, opened the door and went inside.

he went straight to his room and put the flower on the bedside table.after which he went out the room down the stairs and headed to the kitchen to eat.

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:"haha, this flower has withered, the color is so brown" said hanabi speaking himself holding a flower that a few weeks ago he had taken from the garden (a field near the house)

:"this flower is not perfect, right? the night sky" said Hanabi still talking to himself

:"so, it shouldn't matter if I'm not perfect either, right?" said Hanabi again staring at the flower he put it

the wind blew, the flower flew.

\-and disappeared

again and again, crying again, as if the tears were too much in the hold so that when it came out never stopped.

:"you think I'm not tired? I was so tired.but I hid it. Because they liked my energy-filled self, they liked my homemade mask" Hanabi said in tears

:"if I could fly there, if I did, then I would be very grateful.I am free" he said again.

cry on, all your hopes will never come true.

try not to expect the impossible to happen! god damnit..

:"hiks.. hhh.. haha.."

like I won you again.

uninspiring.

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:"waaahhhh, it's tired of school here" said Lily complained.

:"the turn has been accepted and even moaned you" replied hanabi flatly

:"weird he, even though he was the most passionate first, now we are both the spirit" replied kenzo again added

:"yes, the most passionate time is even the most regretful" said Hanabi patting lily on the shoulder

:"huwee his duties are many" Lily replied in tears

:"njir cry!" inner kenzo and hanabi

:"bro patient bro, it's only been a few days Jan give up first bro! wehh" said kenzo in panic

:"ah.yeah Jan really give it up first! just in Jan asked to come out" Hanabi replied continuing

those words remind me of my problems lately.right, only a few days it happened, do not immediately give up. stay strong!

school is pretty busy here

:"yeey rest, eat enaakk" said Lily happily running around in the corridor

:"that's why he wants to be an idol if he's just struggling at school" Kenzo said, staring at Lily as he walked to the cafeteria

:"don't judge it by behavior" Hanabi replied following kenzo

:"well.." replied kenzo again

bagged

:"hello paak" said Lily greeting the canteen

:"hello also lily" replied the canteen

:"big kebab dealer 1 yes sir" lily ordered food

:"ok, in waiting for ya" replied the canteen

:"well sir" replied Lily again smiling

:"look he~ looks so looking forward to the food coming" said Kenzo who sat beside Lily

:"haha, you're really impatient.your face depicts that" said Hanabi who sat in front of Lily

:"huh, shut up" Lily replied whining

:"hahahahaha" the two of them laughed

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at night, in Hanabi's room.

:"hiks. hh. aahhhkk.. hiks" hanabi who was crying in her room.

the window was opened again, the wind was getting stronger, and very cold.

hanabi's crying voice became disguised thanks to the wind.

mat\* is bod\*h.

if you don't accept it then mat\* only! it's ruined everything so you're free! be destroyed.

WIPED OUT!!!

:"hh. hiks. hhhuua" the crying of hanabi is getting louder.

\*tok tock

:"hanabi, aren't you papa? I heard crying from your room" Hanabi's mother said behind the door

:"oh no papa ma'am, hanabi again watch a movie, folumenya kegedean" replied hanabi in the room

a liar.

:"you've gone to bed, you're already lazy, watch it tomorrow" said Hanabi's mother behind the door.

:"yes ma'am" replied hanabi in the room

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when will someone know this? then I said, "you still have me, and you". afterwards, I no longer need to wear a mask when I'm with her.

I'm gil\*, because I can only be angry with myself and expect everything.

all of them became hallucinations and doubts.

no one is perfect, so don't worry, don't you have what they don't? it means you're on top of them, so don't be afraid.

\-you are always with you

I'm really tired of doing this boring thing and keep repeating it anyway at this time I still can't really feel his sense of joy with friends. because all I know is that I'm just wearing my mask, so there's no happiness emanating from inside me. It's fake, fake.

I immediately forgot everything and went back to the void.it was ridiculous.

then why would I still be with them if I knew I wasn't happy?

it's simple, because I don't want to be alone.

I made them doll friends, not real friends, they were entertainers, not friends.

sometimes I think of them as superheroes, and I envy that.

or maybe, when I'm really happy, they destroy it.

\-I really don't deserve to be happy even if it's only a minute

at least let me say it directly.

I hate this life, I hate this self, I hate this false togetherness.please take me out of this void, please help me escape this indistinct matter, please, please let me choose my own path..

~ch15 finish~