If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 48-Please hand

Not that I'll never try again, just feel a little bod*h

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

The 4th of January

.

I went to school as usual, and to be honest, I was still reluctant to communicate with anyone but Lily

Have you ever felt afraid of something that has not been ascertained as to what? or did you ever think that you would get bad luck today and cry at night?

Sometimes bad thoughts or words that we say to ourselves, make us feel we are more unhelpful. And yes, you're right. It's also because of ourselves

.

I got on the school bus as usual, daydreaming as I looked at the window. Thinking about a lot of things with what kind of facial expression

Really just hoping "at least I want to feel empty even if it's not good"

Sometimes, I still hope to mat* or even without realizing I've been holding a cutter or sharp knife. almost scraped it before I regained consciousness.

When I wish I wasn't crazy, it was my own actions that made me feel even more insane

.

.

When I got to school, Lily walked up to me and took my hand.

The principal understood, I need time to adapt again. He made me a classmate of my best friend

:"Well, eat?"

:"Well, actually, not yet. There's no lust"

:"Ahh hanabi nihh habits"

:"Haha"

:"Let's go!"

:"Tracts dong"

:"Yes, the important thing is that you eat"

.

After that, we went to class

.

Ding dong

Bell rang, indicating it was time for the lesson to begin.

The teacher goes to class and tells him something

:"Kids, today we study outdoors. And for all children who majored in business or art, please follow the father"

:"Will we split dong?"

:"Yes, you're also a business major"

:"Oh, yes too. Hehe"

.

.

Ok, looks like I got that si*l day. See what I'm going to learn now. Mental health.

:"Actually you want to teach something lighter, but in this region there are many people who have anxiety disorders. The principal suggested, too, for the arts department. Can you draw or paint something related to it? create at least 12 images with different motifs. Referrals and inspiration have been sent in their respective groups"

:"12 pictures? wadidaw"

:"I feel like I have lost track!"

:"Your spirit, I will give up even more"

The students complained

If you don't want to tell me, what's the trouble?

:"Sir, purpose?"

I asked her so upset questions with people's complaints

:"Good question hanabi. The goal is to recover at least their "little" anxiety. The health department has also approved it. This also includes therapy for them. Oh, additions. You just make a black and white picture, no need to color. Let them continue"

:"Good sir"

.

:"Ohh make therapy"

:"Come! work together for their recovery!"

Cheers on them too.

......................

After some time, the art department of the dream academy finally finished making more than 200 images of each student

Obviously, those 12 images are for 1 person. And 1 group consisted of 6 people. while for all, there were 3 groups. So the results obtained are also many (Happy thinking)

Teacher calls someone, teenage girl. Who doesn't seem to be a student of our school

:"Overyone, I have the task of sharing your pictures with the people there" he said, pointing to the left side

:"I hope that the pictures you have made can make this painting therapy a success. After that, thank you for your cooperation"

Then he leaned over and took our pictures

:"Can we see it?"

Ask one of the students to the girl. While I've guessed what the girl will answer. "No"

:"Sorry, I thank you for your sympathy. This therapy is private"

Well, my guess is right. Because I did it once.

:"Ah so yes, well it's okay. A passion for them all, and you certainly are"

Look at this nice girl, I wonder what her name is

:"Thank you very much, I'm sorry"

The messenger girl left, and her back was nowhere to be seen in minutes

...****************...

By nightfall, I had just returned from school. Welcomed by my family, of course. Eat, shower, and relax for a while. Like my usual activities. Like there's no change

That night, I got a video message from the teacher, showing the children who were painting with pleasure. They probably already know that we're going to describe something for them. Even before continuing our pictures, they were already scrambling to choose the available images

:"Ahh, they're funny"

.

I said so. Without me knowing I'd be back again

...---------------------...

Hours 20.58

I went into my room and closed the door, opened my window and..

Self harm's.

Panic felt like jumping from the window and even mundar mandir looking for something sharp while grabbing hair and beating my innocent head

Being limited. Consciously unconscious. Everything is completely indescribable.

Looking in the mirror, slapping yourself.

Run to my bed and get my cell phone. Search something. Info that can relieve self harm!

While crying I try to calm down. A few times biting my own hand so I wanted to go pick up sharp objects. Hit the wall because my head is no longer painful, it can not calm down by hitting the head

No matter what, my body was limp and felt pain in all parts. Coupled with my act of grabbing hair and beating the head, making me dizzy and more messy

My window was shut tight at the time, locking it up. Throw the window lock in any place

Looking back at the phone, there was one way I thought I could stop hurting my hand. Drawing butterflies. Even though I never did, I just followed the words from g**g**

Just with a brush and paint. Although it bleeds a little thanks to the bite, no problem. Brushes are not sharp objects

Hurry up to pick up my painting equipment, avoiding everything I thought was sharp. One of them is a pencil that I always draw

Slowly win and then try to draw it.

.

Keep drawing until you can see many butterflies in my left hand. While the bite marks were bleeding, I let them. I should have calmed down by looking at that, but somehow I didn't feel like enough

It hasn't died down well. But it makes me calmer. Plus, my body is already very tired due to outdoor learning activities

.

I opened my door and went to the kitchen to get a drink. I ate ice cubes many times until I felt better

Brother Shahiro is in the guest room, but I don't care. Keep him busy with his work. I haven't wiped out all these red butterflies

.

After that, I went back to my room and went to bed. Without cleaning my painting equipment, and without removing and healing my hands

~ch48 finish~

Sankyu!