If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 35-A good move is silent

mornings

monday, 06:00

today I will go to school sooner, because I want to study in the library

I prepared first, while the newly awakened Rion looked surprised that I was ready

:"didn't we come in at 8? there are still 2 hours left before the entrance" rion wondered

:"I want to study in the library, he's open at half 7, right? it'll be on time, because our house is away from school"

:"well.yes, wait for me, I'll get ready quickly"

rion immediately ran to get his towel and ran to the bathroom

I saw it just silently without a sound

:"eat first, or bring your provisions" said the mother came

:"yes ma'am" I replied

.

.

I'm waiting for Rion in the living room, while putting provisions in my bag

:"I'm done" rion came over

:"then we go straight away"

I put my bag back on and say goodbye to my mother, and so does Rion

:"we're leaving"

rion and I went straight to the bus stop a little distance away from home, so we ran there

at the bus stop

:"just in time, the bus stopped" I got into the bus

so too with rion.

.

.

in school

rion and I separated at the gate, I went straight to the left where the library was. while rion went right, to the place where the music was

there is really still quiet, the only thing in the library is the guard and myself.

now showing at 07:09, I looked for the most corner seat (it was my custom)

I put down my bag and looked for some books for me to read

.

to be honest, I don't really like reading, but since I've been skipping for a few days, I have to study all the material I've been through.

I also told Mr. Hiru at that time, and he said my class would be moved.

.

.

after searching for some books, I returned to my seat and began studying there

I set the alarm with a small volume, so I don't miss class because I'm busy reading

.

.

I've missed s***one hour, my alarm sounds right at 08:00

I tidied up all the books and took them to a book loan

:"well, you can give it back next week.the spirit of learning"

:"thank you"

.

I came out of the library and went to the Uks while carrying the books

my intention was just to ask where my class was. That was all it really was

.

.

in uks

I opened the door and entered, siru who saw me immediately greeted

:"long time no see hanabi, yesterday your performance was very good"

:"thank you sir" I smiled

:"oh yes, your class is now moved to 1C"

:"ah, well thank you"

:"I've told all the teachers here, so you don't have to explain anything"

:"well"

mr. hiru approached me and patted me on the shoulder 2 times

:"believe me, this time you'll be fine" he said smiling

:"of course" I answered

I got out of the UKS after that, headed to my new class in a hurry. I seriously didn't want to see anyone

.

.

when I arrived in 1c class, I went straight in there and looked for the back seat.I was actually confused, I did not know which bench was unused

while the class was still quiet, I busied myself with studying the material I was passing

:"what time do they usually come?" my inner

people in my class always arrive on time

.

hour 08:25

the students began to flock into the classroom.looks so crowded and stuffy atmosphere

a few minutes later they were still talking to each other when they were sitting tight

I think it's good, thank God this bench is not occupied

one of them greeted me, his name was sky, he was a cute guy to me

:"hey, you're hanabi, right? I know Sky" he said

:"Greetings know" I answered

:"By the way, yes.Do you think I am handsome?"

;"more so cute to me.."

The other friends laughed

:"right?! you're cute broo!!" answer his friend

:"yeah dah" said sky

I who saw it fell silent, silent and motionless like a statue.

I thought about a lot of things back then

I don't know what's wrong with me, or where I've been wrong, or why this happened to me and so much more.

I was worried, I was scared, I panicked too

but I can only be silent, unable to move my own body.

after I realized, I continued reading the book

while I've always been annoyed at being constantly seen by the sky's friend, maybe he doesn't like me

.

.

.

lesson hours begin

all I heard was one teacher, I recorded every important word

while other students.some focus on the lesson, there are also those who chat this even though they continue to get reprimands from the teacher. are you also like that?

we missed this lesson hour.

break-off

sky took me out of class, whether he wanted to go to the cafeteria or just take a walk in the school garden

I just followed him because there was nothing I could do anymore. I was too tired of reading, moreover it wasn't finished

I'm also lazy to draw anything, all the ideas are gone from my head

.

from a distance I saw Lily who was joking with laughter with her friends.

and I started to worry.

I was silent on the spot, in the lower Corridor.

while sky stopped and looked at me with a confused look

his friend came, who in class kept looking at me with a sharp look

:"you, no interest in going to a psychiatrist?" ask the man

:"you mean?" ask me in a slow voice

Again I was attacked by panic.

:"are you always like that? I've always seen you fall silent.I'm sure you're having a lot of problems right.Take a story or don't go to his professional"

:"have quietly.you angered me" and I went after him

I went back to class, but I don't know how they were. Again I regret something.I will continue to feel guilty this way

what am I supposed to do?

I don't know.

oh, I have good words to keep. I like his words

.

I can't handle them one by one

Especially when they attack again. I who at least hoped to "rise and be strong" actually fell again in the same abyss. A deep chasm I can't climb to get out of there

Don't want to try to get close to that reality, because I know I won't be able to face it

Experiments I did and repeated many times, yes. It's boring, but that's all I can do

I begged my own mind to stop, hoping the burden would be reduced.

I believe I am a weak man. That's why I can't get out of this dark forest. But I also believe, when I really already have my way to rise. I can definitely go back home. Comfortable zone. Or maybe I'll make something extraordinary

.

this is the first time I've ever made words like this..

~ch35 finish~

sankyu!