If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 19-Nightmare (2)

"i can ignore you now, so don't upset me"

"at least let me get it!! I never got what I wanted! why did I fail again!! answer me!!"

"didn't you expect too much? if you don't accept what you have now, then don't expect that you'll be happy"

"but why.why..I never even force someone to do what I want.they won't listen.."

"I NEVER EVEN TALKED ABOUT THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE ME HATE THEM, I EVEN ALWAYS OBEY THEM, WHY SHOULD I GET KARMA?!?!"

"where is my fault.."

hug yourself. You don't have anyone here, do you?

.

.

.

:"HANABI! HANABII"

:"don't yell anjir!"

:"hanabi"

hg..

they told you to get up.

what's the point of me waking up? I just want mat*.so let me fall asleep.

:"hanabiiiii huwaaaaaa" a weeping lily

:"woyy don't nangiss!! hanabi can be annoying!!" said kenzo who patted lily's shoulder

:"dang you kenzo! hanabiii" said Lily who was still crying

:"haha.." rion who laughed

who.. who holds my hand so tightly?

wake up, wake up this time! for those who still care about you.

but I don't want to face everything anymore. It's really exhausting..

realize idiot!!

*brak!!

:"hanabie!" shahiro who ran towards the uks bed

:"what's wrong with him?" shahiro asked the three hanabi friends

:"he fainted" said Rion, clasping his hand tightly

:"brothers, brother hanabiiiii" said the kuki who approached the hanabi bed

*kuki went up to the bed and slept on Hanabi's body, hugged tightly and cried

:"don't worry, you'll wake up soon, ok?" shahiro said she wanted to carry cookies

:"no kkk. sister woke up" said kuki who increasingly hugged hanabi tightly.

:"I will not be able to breathe if you hug so. You wake up first..!" shahiro said she was worried about hanabi

you should realize they love you more than you know.

in fact, it's only for a while. Why is that? I always get the same treatment, and it keeps repeating over the course of my life.

the fact that they love me for expecting things, then hate me for their expectations are not fulfilled. Here I feel depressed, you know?

so it's no use, even if they love me as sincerely as I can't believe anymore.

exactly like that time.

:"father buyin donut favorite hanabi.nih"

:"thank you"

:"how's school?"

:"well, hanabi gets high grades again"

:"father's son is a pinter"

.

.

:"you can only make this kind of money?"

:"please don't take that money again! it's for our daily needs!"

:"why don't you accept your mother's legacy!! you won't be working later!!"

:"what do you mean?! you want to master my mother's inheritance huh?!"

*plaque!!

:"keep your talk!!"

.

.

:"traitor" inner hanabi who saw it from the stairs.

no one can really make me happy, that's the conclusion: traitors are everywhere, everyone is bad, that's my response.

:"hanabi..how do you study at school?"

:"today hanabi gets 50 marks"

:"must study more diligently yes.later father buy everything hanabi want"

:"yeah"

.

.

:"why is your rap score so small? you are even at the bottom! are you having a hanabi problem??"

:"no, it's just too hard"

:"meat it.. father also said what...study diligently let you pinter... you don't want to pinter that???"

:"dad enough.give me a hanabi rapot"

:"shahiro, you don't even let me talk."

:"silence and give!!"

DON'T ARGUE ANYMORE! I'M STILL HERE!!! DON'T FIGHT WHEN I'M NEXT TO YOU!! DON'T ARGUE WITH EACH OTHER WHEN I'M RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!!!

weeks go by and the same thing keeps repeating

:"hanabi..How about today?"

:"look at yourself"

:"ck.."

.

.

.

:"hanabie!! buy me dong's food dikantinn"

:"why?"

:"you ask why? because you're the only one not busy! please"

:"buy it yourself"

:"coat"

.

.

:"eeh... You were told to buy food for her?? you don't take it, do you?"

:"no, no need to worry, ley"

:"By the way, would you like to go to the magic show that is on my deck? his words are exclaimed loh"

:"I want to see!"

:"then come on!"

done that, I went home..

:"WHAT-WHAT! WHY DID YOU BECOME BOD*H'S SON!!"

:"DAD STOP!! ENOUGH!!"

:"HANABI!! COMEHERE!! JUST STUDY YOU CAN'T HUH?! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?!"

:"the question is, what are you becoming yourself? you're trash." - An upset Hanabi

*plaque!! *slap about hanabi cheeks

*hanabi was whipped once by her father

:"STOP!" shahiro slammed her father to the floor

hanabi just fell silent.understood the events of today, and got a new word.

- they love you for expecting something, and they will hate you, scold you, advise you, because you are not in accordance with what they expect.

:"so I just have to be perfect?" hanabi was still silent

:"hanabie! are you all right?!?!"

:"father.. IT'S NOT TRASH THAT CAN'T BE TREATED LIKE YOU" cried Hanabi so loudly.

haha.. haha. This is the first time I shouted. bod*h once..

.

.

.

:"he is very pale, you better take him directly to the doctor" said hiru-sensei

:"but hanabi was traumatized by the hospital." replied shahiro who held the fainted hanabi.

:"trauma? how's it?" ask hiru-sensei

:"ah. because his childhood friend was not right after the surgery.." replied shahiro nervously.

:"the only friend of hanabi? which one does he believe?" lily said

:"uh? mu-maybe.." replied shahiro doubtfully

:"kak hanabi once said this to a cookie!

flashbacks

"sister can no longer trust anyone. later if we are why again because brother believes them, how? at a time like this. Kuki know what you mean by brother?"

"sister don't cry! kuki's gonna get angry"

"makanya.. kuki keep mom, huh..? sister can not take care of mother longer.so kuki change brother huh?"

"where are you going?"

"maybe. big brother wants to go with ley! very far"

"hiks.."

"don't cry about cookies. cookies are great!"

flashback off

:"that's the word" replied the cookie with her innocent face.

when everyone in the room was crying, they knew exactly what was meant by "go". yes, that means hanabi had been planning to bun*h himself since the 1st grade.

shahiro hugged his sister, who he was holding.Rion, lily, and kenzo held hanabi's hand so tightly.

kuki and hiru-sensei who saw them, fell silent unable to say anything

:"my fault is my fault for not being able to take care of you." said shahiro crying while hiding his face on Hanabi's shoulder

.

.

.

"hanabi. Let's go again next time"

"sure, I'm waiting for the next show!"

"i'll make you feel happy! always"

"thank you very much, ley"

hanabi smiled.

his eyes began to open slowly, hearing the sound of crying so close, so close from his ears.Getting a glimpse of his friends, his sister, and his teacher who lowered their heads while crying without sound.

hanabi was confused, but she was a little happy because she thought..

:"i'm dead? that so?" hanabi smiled broadly.

~ch19 finish~