If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 55 - Loss of identity

Maybe soon I'll be obsessed with what's called crime.

Pleased, annoyed. Maybe I deserve to be there

You see how I tried not to kick them all in the head? totally humiliating. It feels like this is not me but I like this

More confident especially with the boy tattoo I wear all over the arm

:"How will the police respond?" Mumbles

I watched them while waiting for the police to arrive

Of course while fighting the inner emptiness that is getting chaotic

"If I were at home, I could have cried because of this emptiness." My inner self commented

I don't know what they saw from me, they just fell silent while hissing in pain.

:"What is that wound? it's still more than good than flogging"

I said casually

Police sirens were heard, and his distinctive red-blue light was seen

:"Don't run or I'll completely break both of your legs" I said, keeping them quiet again

Tonight is exhausting.

...****************...

:"I'm home"

Everything was taken care of, I went back to my house and took a shower

.

After that, I went to my comfortable bed and played with my phone. I think I want to buy some books

Have you ever thought about trying to get what you want? Hey, besides wanting to read a book, I want to have my own book too!

About like that

:"Ah.right. I have a lot of amazing books that I've finished reading. While I'm still wondering what it's like to be that guy"

:"Perhaps if I try to make a good work, then it works. Aha, how fun it is"

I talk a lot. While searching for a book with a favorite theme, I thought about many things. Not just a book. But thinking about how they struggle in those books? must be hard to make. Wow, what a spectacular achievement! Thought

Tattoos that are still attached to the hand, irregular clothing styles, and hobbies that are not suitable. That's who I am

:"Well, being yourself is exhausting. But really, at least I can."

I slept that night, without opening the window

That night I had a dream. I made a beautiful work

My paintings are amazing, more than I can paint. My cooking is tasted by many. I created a book of life. And I look like there's no burden.

That dream makes it hard to wake up. Dreams of a million people who experience anxiety disorders? Don't know don't ask me

It really feels real, with the addition. My smile that I really like, at least I can see it again

Maybe in the real world I was crying while sleeping, because I realized this was a dream. While I am also still in a very very desperate state to mat*

What happened can still be changed. It can always be changed. Without you noticing though, if you're tired of this. You're gonna change your path and then you're gonna wake up to it

I'm still exhausted.

...****************...

What about this cold morning?

What time is it? why is it still dark?

I saw my phone, it's 2 p.m.

Is this what is called waking up too early when sleeping too late? I slept no less than 2 hours ago

I opened my window, feeling the coldness of the air at that hour

:"If I can be successful in the future. Give me encouragement in the present. At least something that makes me feel like the future is more beautiful? Or at least get my mind back. Because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to achieve that future"

This time I dare to say at length, so just listen?

:"I may rarely go to school. But meet me with my friends. I need their warmth more than you know"

:"Hey, if I'm different. Is that natural? I was afraid to see myself change without realizing it all the time. Even just looking at her scares me"

Right, I'm starting to realize that I'm starting to turn into a worse person

I was still not too worried because I realized, moreover, my cries also proved that I still wanted to return to the way I was

The problem is with my mind always saying that I can't. Just see what it will be like and do not regret it

The change is flowing, with dark colored water.

:"Precent black"

Many commented, ending in a cry. Who'sis that? I'm sure you're the same.

Don't let only me be like that myself, because it will be a shame.

Hey, I want to make a different story than people! I want to write a death series!. Or maybe a way mat* without pain.

No, don't. Before the story was finished, I might have tried it first.

Ever been?

Crying, then asking for help. It's just in the heart. You didn't really move for help. You don't even make a sound. While my mind screamed fear and pain

I'm experiencing that. I even know when it will happen. Once every 2 days, and at an hour that is not too late. When everyone is not asleep or preparing for sleep. Yes, between 8pm or 9pm.

I've really memorized it to the point that I'm trying to make something ridiculous. It's useful to diffuse this mind

Maybe, like I made a creation. Roses of many colors, which I will combine into a large flower bucket

I know it takes a long time, so it's useful to forget about my inner grievances

Want to try it too? it might calm you down slowly, too

Okay, I'm missing the topic. What if I just keep telling stories? or didn't?

.

.

Hours 04.45

I almost fell asleep because of this cold wind.

Maybe I need something warm.

I'm chalking and making hot chocolate. Bring it to the room and drink it slowly

I'm tired of my cell phone, really. How many times have I seen it, nothing has really caught my eye at all. Playing for hours on end but nothing fun?

Yeah, I'm not lying about this. Play mobile phones only to eliminate empty and empty. See who gets bored easily?

There's no way I'm the only one who looks like an idiot with a mobile phone scroll without knowing what's grabbing attention

Hey, are you tired? I'm tired too. Got a way to sleep forever? Don't medicine. I'm sick of drugs

.

.

The hot chocolate was gone, lost in the stomach

But I don't seem to be back to normal. Becoming more

Can anyone help me???? I need help!!

~Ch 55 done!~

Sankyu!