If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 29 - Almost committed suicide

if it's related to what I think, then it's natural right? this is how I survive, I'll try to convince myself that I can't, and that body will definitely blind me if I'm really capable.

it's effort, not engineering, that's what I want to say.

but sometimes still I want to end everything, starting from the dirty thoughts that always incite me to do evil things.

then I always think why am I living while I am destined to be like this?

fear of what will happen to me, especially when many people begin to hate me again.

want mat*, want mat*! I WANT A MAT*!!

it's clearly said, isn't it? even though it can not be heard by anyone.it is only my mind.I grumble, I am angry, I am disappointed.all the words I issued are only limited to the word for myself.

.

.

back to this reality, hello again to myself.

I was pondering under my window as usual, yeah, hoping that with this there would be a change later even though I knew there would never be a new opportunity.

:"heard, my brother got affection in his school, even though people said he was still being tortured by the two murderers" I said to speak for myself

I saw the moon far away, far away.

gazing at the dark night ceiling but its beauty could be seen.

:"I hope no one gets hurt"

the wind blew, it was a cold night, and I tried to jump out.

I who was already on top of that window, looked down Sana. predict whether I will mat* if I jump or instead I will just get hurt?

I thought I was going to mat*.and that's why I put my foot forward

there was clearly the sound of footsteps that were so fast, catching me.

:"IDIOT!! PLEASE DON'T DO THAT..."

rion clenched me, so tightly that I felt claustrophobic and unable to breathe while he was trembling at this moment

:"what? I was just checking the window" I replied

:"huh..? really did? I won't believe it!"

:"believe me, I'm afraid to die you know?"

.

almost a little more.

:"i. I don't want you to go.."

rion began to cry hugging me, his embrace getting tighter, as if to say "pause for a moment"

Taking the consequences of life and living it is not the first choice, right?. The feeling of emptiness in the taste is also not necessarily going to disappear. If it is really fair it is in the world, then it is appropriate that people treat the same thing from the word "fair" It. If indeed we lose this tight game (life), then let us do something we really want before leaving.

- arisawa miya

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.

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:"hey. I can't breathe" I laughed afterwards.

:"sorry"

rion let go of his embrace, and looked at me like a sad little pet left behind

she's cute.

:"what the fuck are you, what a child" I said

I stroked Rion's head, looked him in the eye and said

:"there is nothing eternal in the world" I said with a smile

the wind blew fiercely penetrating into his room.the cold of the night, the sunyinya night.

:"oh, by the way, where's my mom?" much

:"he said he was away a few days for grandpa's company.."

:"well, I deserve not to see her at all today"

:"how do you know?" ask me again

:"I called her earlier"

.

.

the conversation emerged that night, slowly forgetting what happened earlier.

- we still have to try as much as possible, until our final limits run out.

.

.

tomorrow

I stayed in the room, locked the door and started to be gil*

like a bolt of lightning striking right near me, I was terrified that day, when nothing happened

fear of things that are not clear.

hoping it'll end soon.

.

.

I had stayed in my room long enough, sitting quietly on my soft bed

in the afternoon, Rion returned home

it was clear his voice was calling my name

:"hanabi.. Hanabi where are you?" ask her under there

I didn't answer.

:"I'm in your room??"

there were footsteps coming towards my room, steps coming closer

and I also looked

cklek

:"hanabi, I'll buy you some food" she said at the door

:"thank you" I replied weakly

I got off my bed and walked towards her, taking her to the kitchen to eat together

he nodded in agreement

.

the day passed so quickly, but for me, it was a long time ago

and tomorrow comes, today, I have to go to school

if not, my friends might be worried

.

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schoolgoing

I just fell silent, looking at my class from the outside

so many, scaring me for no reason.

unable to bear what would happen after passing that day, I just ran like I was being chased by a very creepy monster...

bruk!

:less-natured! how dare you hit me?!" said brother asara under me

:"ka-kak asara?"

I immediately stood up and tried to help her but she stood on her own and directly slapped me so hard.

....

the people who were walking in the corridor, stopped.so many people were watching

I who just looked down silently began to take courage, at least to reveal that I was just as helpless as the others

:"brengs*k you are indeed! don't listen!!"

asara slapped me a few times.

WEAK-KNEED

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.

:"IT'S ENOUGH BANGS*T!!!! YOU GUESS I'M NOT TIRED WHAT, HUH?!! GW SAME YOU ARE THE SAME!!! ONLY THE WAY OUR PEOPLE LOOK IS DIFFERENT!!! YOU'RE IN LOVE BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING OLD MAN! WHILE GW IS CONSIDERED WIND, IT IS UNDERESTIMATED BECAUSE OF THE GW FAMILY PROBLEMS THAT ARE NOT SO HEAVY!" I scream so loud

the people there fell silent, looking at me with disgusted looks.

:"I'm sure it will start again" my inner self

I just bowed down afterwards

crying without a sound and probably no one else will notice.

I heard her clearly, the harsh words they gave me

all I want is to hear the answer from Asara

:"dumb kid"

it was clear that my brother's words made me very frustrated.he talked about it in such a small tone. but I heard it clearly like he was talking to me using a mic with a loud voice.

.

.

.

slowly, they disappeared. The world became black and white, silent, there was no one there, not even animals.

the sound of the air was very clear, tears were falling onto the floor of the corridor.

I'll make sure I never want to live again whatever they offer me.

~ch29 finish~

sankyu!