If Tomorrow Is Coming
Ch 39-Wings

the power will keep flowing. Is that it? in all probability.

my main question this time is, why?

how can I be like this and what should I do to get out of this stupid thing? simple but hard to understand, right?

sometimes I make the word "sick" as an excuse, but I know I have some problems that cause my mind to go wrong.

yes, I know, trying is the most important thing to do when you have no direction anymore, but when the experiment fails, it fails, then you're the one who doesn't believe anymore in what I can do. I'm right?

it's easy to guess, but it's not easy to replicate. That's the point

I should have started all over again, but I started in the middle...

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school's home hour

the bell rang, meaning it was time to go home. I decided to stay at school tonight to work on some of the rest of the unfinished tasks.

at the same time contemplate what I do and introspect myself.

again, what's wrong? that's what I'm going to think about tonight, obviously, once my job is done.

hah.

:"yes, I will stay at the dorm sister, mother no need to worry. earlier I have contacted kak shahiro and rion. yes, I will return tomorrow afternoon. as usual, yes, yes. see you around"

my phone turned off. I turned off my HP and tidied up all the books. went out of class and ran towards the dormitory which was quite far from school. but it remains in the school area (the back of the school more precisely)

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when I got there, I looked for a hostel called "shahiro xam and key alexa". Yes, the name was on their doorstep.You guys must know it wasn't

a few minutes later

I managed to find it, I knocked on the door and it opened as if waiting for someone to come there

:"you arrived? come on in. shahiro has not come back so if you are tired then go to sleep first" said keeper let me in

.

key made me some tea, and brought some biscuit snacks.

:"sorry to interrupt, I have a pretty heavy task.and it's going to take some time, so I'm staying over" I said looking at the key sis standing next to me

:"what is that job? maybe my sister can help"

:"no need, it's not that hard. it's just time-consuming"

:"looks like you're so smart"

:"thank you very much, brother"

the small talk that came out with his own, it's not as bad as I thought.

nightfall

tok tok tok tok

the door is knocked, key opens the door and looks like Shahiro's brother is out there

I who was relaxing watching TV, immediately approached kak shahiro

:"welcome" I said

:"thank you hanabi"

shahiro stroked my head, and entered the dormitory

:"hey, your sister is very smart. I don't even really understand what she's learning"

:"that's why don't you mostly skip the hook"

kak key was hit in the head by kak shahiro.

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why am I so very sick to see such a scene? it was just an ordinary friendship.

I'm happy to see brother shahiro with his friend so familiar, and I've also experienced the same thing, I'm happy too.

but it feels broken.

Let's just say nothing happened, I'm really tired of the original thought of showing me bad things.

better get through tonight with all the work and sleep. self-introspection could make me want to die even more.

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mornings

:"Is your sleep comfortable? you look so tired" key suddenly asked

:"my job just finished, sorry brother"

:"now rest even for a while. It's only 5 o'clock in the morning, you have 2 hours to sleep"

:"good brother, thank you very much"

yes, I didn't sleep. To be honest, my job was done at 12 pm, after that, I suddenly panicked, frightened. my thoughts showed a person who looked like me, but that person was really dead. could not be saved anymore, he died.he was scared.

all that night, that guy kept haunting me, he tore up. Bun*h the people who made him sick.

he's creepy, he's kind of showing me what I'm gonna do in the future.I don't want that, I'm afraid to see it.

so that I could only cry silently and not move at all like a dead man.

it's useless to ask for help when you're just quiet

some time passed

I'm at school right now, in the library and reading a book about depression.I don't know why I saw it on the corner of the shelf at the end of the room

reading it was like reading my own thoughts.all of it was right with what I thought. ah, I was diagnosed with depression because of trauma and then healed.

many say, that I always tried to bun*h myself at that time, maybe that's the right reason why they were so worried about my situation.

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I continued to read the book, until the last few sheets were left. I paused for a moment and looked at my HP, yes, because I could not concentrate, I could not concentrate, I was in this perpus until the first lesson was over.

Because my mind was so messed up, I didn't get into any class today, that was the plan

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:"loh? yanabi!! you really are here?! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

lily shouted

:"what's wrong?" I'm the one who's tired

:"are you okay? are you sick? do you need anything? let me help you, here"

his anxious tone, his irregular breathing.it instantly dawned on me that he was still the lily I had known for a long time.

:"lily. i.."

my tears fell down, I hugged Lily tightly and drowned my face in her body.Crying again like last night and being scared even though there was nothing creepy.

all I'm thinking, I NEED A FRIEND.

:"calm down, calm down. I'm here"

she stroked my head, stroked my hair softly. Like her I had really given up. Until I put all of her up and let something happen with her own.

I want mat*. I want mat*.

all that I keep saying in my mind, I dare not come out again.

:"hanabby.. Want me to call your brother? you need your brother, I'm sure of it"

:"please call me. I want you to be here, please call me now" replied I who was still hiccupping.

:"of course, the next time you come to me yes, I will always be by your side" he said slowly

I nodded, and was sleepy.

~ch39 finish~

sankyu!