He's Not The Best
129. Still Traumatized
Still Traumatized
Winsi's speech was interrupted because her lips were gagged by Erlan's kiss, a moment later the man let go and Winsi again shrank the kiss marks of her lips with the back of her hand.
“Why not? I know you're not bullying!”
“Dih, where do you know?”
“Udah, lah... does not matter where I know, you are not bullukan! You're heavy, you know?”
“Who told you to carry me? Leasin!” Winsi shook his legs and body because he wanted to break away from Erlan.
“No! I'm taking you to our room!”
“That's your room! Not our room, Lan!”
“Win, I love you all the time, really!”
“Masa? If it's love, don't make it, Lan! Leasin!”
Erlan relented and finally she lowered Winsi slowly, with a sullen face.
“Lan, lan, Lan, call Darling, cake, call Mas, cake, or what? Forgive me, you, this one fairy!” erlan said while pinching Winsi's chin.
“I'm not a fairy!”
“It, it! My wife, sleep yes ... it's night ..” As he said, Erlan turned her body around.
“Where do you want to go?” winsi's question was confusing, on the one hand she refused together, on the other hand she did not want Erlan to leave. Sometimes two different sides are more difficult to separate, like two sides of a coin.
“Yes, sleep, lah!”
“Oh,” Winsi replied while turning off the lights until the remaining dim light from outside the window. She stepped onto the bed and nonchalantly and laid herself down there while pulling the blanket without removing her hijab, making Erlan furrow her brows.
‘What all this time he still sleeps in full dress like that?’ inner Erlan. As he knew, for almost a year now Winsi was accustomed to sleeping alone with the lights extinguished in the room, whose doors were tightly closed and locked, he said, but only this time did he know that his habit of wearing full clothes had not changed. He's really anxious.
Meanwhile, Winsi who was sleeping turned her back on Erlan, painstakingly controlling the pounding of her heart, she still looked at Erlan's side from the corner of the little boy but repeatedly the man kissed her, evokes half of her other sense of femininity. He actually wants to be treated like that again, because he feels loved and needed. However, there was a different corner of the heart that rebelled if the man approached, he still remembered a little how a big man overcame him and made his body numb, unable to move let alone rebel.
He covered his body with a blanket, and tried to calm his heart by saying that, Erlan was not the same man.
It did not feel like her tears were dripping down, recalling the time when Erlan expressed love in such a sweet way. She was grateful that the man really loved her all this time, Erlan had already proven through attitude and deeds, both to her mother and herself.
“Lan .. thank you... “ he said softly in a blanket. He did not care whether Erlan would return to his own room or sleep beside him because he was already sleepy.
Meanwhile, Erlan was still standing at the door with a blank look towards his wife, she had two wives who had their traumas each. For a while he was still standing in the same position while thinking about the direction of his life, and the trust he consciously took on purpose. Yeah, he kind of deliberately threw himself into trouble.
Initially his promise to the Hanifa family that he said without asking, then his invitation to Winsi to marry who also had no compulsion to him. Erlan said Istighfar repeatedly asking God to help him solve problems without having to change himself.
Erlan stepped closer to the bed, flicking the blanket away, laying down, while wrapping one hand around the waist of Vinsi. He let the girl sleep in a closed state all over her aura, in his arms. For quite a while he was finally able to close his eyes, but, at the same time, Winsi's body moved roughly.
The girl immediately sat down and shouted, “Don't! Unhand me! No!” When he said that, he moved uncontrollably.
Erlan took a seat, but she only saw what was happening while thinking, her brain was still not in line with the panic around her, not yet able to think clearly with what actions should be taken to calm the girl.
However, a moment later he saw Winsi patting his own cheek and beristighfar, taking a deep breath and reciting many verses from the scriptures. The girl got down, and turned on the lights, then went back to bed.
How surprised he was when he saw Erlan was there and was looking at him with pity and question. He wondered why the man was in his room?
“Erlan, why are you here?” After asking, Winsi seemed to have realized that she was married to the man until she ignored him and as if without burden, she returned to her original position, lying on her back to Erlan.
Erlan looked at everything that Winsi had done in amazement, she understood that if it was possible every night, the girl experienced this but, she did not tell it to anyone. In fact, it can even overcome its own trauma. The man wrapped his hands behind his back, kissing his cheeks.
Winsi did not react, talking about her husband kissing at will.
“What every night you always like this?” erlan asked, Winsi was still in a position of her back and nodded.
“Why never say?” ask Erlan.
Wilinsi.
“And you sleep in clothes like this?”
Winsi.
Winsi shook her head.
“If you are not used to sleeping in the dark, yes do not turn off the lights.”
“No what, make trainia.”
Hearing Winsi's voice, Erlan moved position, which meant that the girl could be spoken to. He threw himself in front of his wife, without letting go of the exact look in the eyeballs that were still flushed from sleep.
“Are you okay?” ask again.
Winsi.
Erlan stroked the head, descended to the back and for a while continued to hang in there, as if to give it some calmness, then, pulling the woman's body up to it.
“I'm here, so, don't be afraid!”
“Erlan!” Winsi said as she buried her head deeper into her husband's chest.
“Hmm ...”
“Don't say the same to anyone, let alone the same mother!”
“Ya ... now sleep!”
“Lan ...”
“Hmm ...”
“Thank you..”.
“Hmm ...”
Erlan only realized that the burden was still heavy, but the burden of the girl was also heavy. Events that have passed nearly eight years, still often haunt Winsi in his sleep.
“I want to heal, I don't want to be in the shadow of that man every night, I'm tired, Lan. I'm tired!”
Erlan was silent, she simply rubbed the girl's head gently and kissed her forehead a few times. Looking at the tears that suddenly flowed he also wiped away with his finger.
Erlan was still doing just that, stroking and rubbing his wife's back until they went back to sleep.
*****
The next day, they woke up to the sound of dawn reverberating from the mosque some distance from their home. It had become a habit of Winsi when the morning arrived, he would take off all his clothes because every time he dreamed of such a terrible thing as last night, he always sweated and his clothes got wet.
However, when he opened his eyes, he saw Erlan who was still sleeping by his side, making him undo the intention until he reached the bathroom, then he took off the veil and everything, then take a bath with warm water.
Winsi came out using only a bathrobe and hair wrapped in a small towel.
“You take a shower, Win?” asked Erlan who was already sitting on the side of the bed.
Provinsi nodded, then said, “Why are you still here?”
Erlan threw away her face amusedly, the girl before her always questioning her whereabouts, with the same question, as if she was wrong to be her husband!
“You will have your own bathroom, fast wudhu there, dawn prayer!” winsi said while pulling Erlan's hand and encouraging her growth to come out of her room.
Erlan stepped lazily, “Win, is it wrong if I wudhu here? We're not junub, are we?”
“No! So let's take a shower in your room there, here's the same soap shampoo chick!”
“What's the reason?”
“No can!” winsi said as she continued to push Erlan.
Winsi was unaware that what he was doing was stirring up something to Erlan.
“Wiwin, quiet! Enough you push, I can get out myself!”
“Good!” winsi said while shaking her waist and rubbing her nose with the back of her hand.
Seriate