He's Not The Best
120. The Weight of Your Loss

The Weight of Your Loss

After completing the magrib prayer, Winsi chose not to go home directly. He sat on the terrace of the mosque, hugging his own knee with his chin resting on it. Erlan sat not far from his side after knowing the girl was silent she was there.

“Lan,” said Winsi suddenly without looking at her, as if already knowing if the one sitting next to her was Erlan.

“Hmm,” says Erlan while wearing her shoes.

“Now we're nobody anymore, huh? Kayak it again.”

Erlan stopped her movements while turning her head, simultaneously with Winsi who was also looking towards her.

“What do you mean? We'll have Zidan, he's that, our two sisters, Win!”

“Ah!” Winsi sighed softly while taking a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Stay we're nobody, Lan. Although, Dad once said that I keep taking care of myself and the integrity of the family, but I don't know, which family the hell, do you mean?”

“Yes, it is our family, indeed you have another family besides Mother Jiddan same me?”

“There, I do, have a Father. But I don't want to take care of the whole family of that Father!”

“Continue, where are you going?”

“So coed again, dong. Go home to Jogja. I'm totally free now.” Winsi said with a tear or two.

“This you, Win. Why the hell does your mind always want to be free, what the hell does free really mean for humans?”

Winsi turned his head annoyed he did not know what caused Erlan to say so, did he feel confined now because he had to run his father's business forcibly? Bizarrely. Inner Winsi.

“Eh, why are you angry, Lan? Free version of me may be different give it to you. You must be more patient than I Lan, you must live all your trust from now on.”

“You have no intention to help me here?”

“Help what? I don't have a college diploma yet, do I deserve it?”

Actually learning such a business can be independent as long as you want to work hard and are dedicated. No need for a diploma for a while because for family companies, formalities are necessary but, not a necessity.

“Ya, already. Finish your college first.”

What he can do, Winsi thought, he did not have any skills to be judged commensurate standing by Erlan's side to help him run the family business.

After that they went home on foot, without talking as before until they reached home, it was already late at night.

Doesn't every destiny have its own path, what path will they go through after Arkan's departure? Between Winsi and Erlan no longer had any sense of interest because they preferred the path they wanted rather than the desire of the previous Runa who wanted to match them.

Before returning home, Arkan continued to instill in his son, in order to be able and determined to marry Hanifa as quickly as possible, once he graduated from college. Actually, he meant the guy was good. He just wanted to keep Erlan's self-esteem at the same time maintain the woman's self-esteem as well. Moreover, Hanifah is an orphan who if married with full responsibility and justice, then, a great reward will be obtained by the husband in the afterlife.

Arkan's decision, was welcomed by Erlan after seeing the symptoms shown by Hanifah lately. He will return traumatized if he encounters or hears anything surprising.

His family and brother refused to accept the responsibility because they knew the severity of the risk they had to bear. Therefore, with all his heart and sincerity, Erlan married him.

From then on he gradually tried to erode the taste in his heart, which had once been on Winsi.

When they arrived home, Winsi immediately looked for his mother and only looked at the surrounding situation that had begun to be quiet. Although there are still some relatives who stay, but they do not really care about Runa or Winsi. Suddenly his heart became foreign to being in that house without his father again.

Winsi approached her mother who had fallen asleep while hugging Jiddan, there was still water left in the corner of her closed eyes. His face showed incredible fatigue, as if within a day the sweet face had already appeared older than its real age.

Is that why we let those we love go? Winsi does not know how deep her mother's love for her dead father is. However, he knows that Arkan is a wound-treater, the painkiller of a previous marriage.

The affection that Arkan gives to himself and his mother is hard to compare with any other human affection that has ever been kind to them. So, it is natural that losing Arkan is like losing half the world to his mother, let alone the husband is the half-life in the life of a wife.

“Mother ... The father of good people, so God calls him before us, Mother is not surprised, right, if good people are more dear to God?” Winsi whispered softly while gently rubbing Runa's face that looked a little pale, then she went to sleep following to dreamland and hoped to meet Arkan there.

*****

The next day, Winsi and Runa woke up from sleep simultaneously, the two women were unable to sleep well because their hearts were still undecided and their circumstances and minds were still filled with such a deep sense of loss and willingness.

Without talking to each other, they pray at dawn together and afterwards both raise their hands and pray, praying for the same person with the same prayer and amen.

Finished praying, Winsi hugged her mother tightly and kissed her cheek.

“Mother, Take care of all the realities of Dad's departure, huh? Don't cry as much sad anymore. Sure Dad's okay without us.” Winsi said while folding his face, but, Runa did not respond he was still sitting in a row facing the qibla.

“Mother...!”

“Hmm ...” Sahut Runa slowly and reluctantly.

A wife who lost her husband died, like a person who lives unwillingly to die.

“Sorry, I arrived late yesterday, still good to see Dad's face.”

“Iya ... is okay ... Just pray for your father. We both lost your father, there's nothing we can do but give.”

“Remember, I have to take care of myself here, Wiwin can not be long, because tomorrow has started the test. So, today I want to go back to Yogyakarta!”

“Mother, come with you, yes Nak!”

“What?”

“Yes, I want to come with you, I'm not happy here with your Father's brothers. They see Mom one eye, let alone we just briefly become part of the family.”

Winsi felt the same way, but his logic was still sane so he did not immediately agree to his mother's request. Although, he was very happy that Runa was with him because that meant, he did not have to be betrothed to the man who used to always call him Buluk Child!

Seriate