He's Not The Best
119. Want to See When
When You Will Be Here
Erlan immediately stood up from kneeling on the floor, her body feeling so weak this time as if her body was devoid of flesh and bones. Her steps wavered towards Hanifa's room and, when she was already inside, it was seen that the girl was spilling all of her own beauty equipment into a mess.
“You why, hell, Han!” Erlan asked emotionally, while picking up a few things scattered on the floor and keeping them in their original place.
“Fuck! Papah fierce!” hanifa said sulking as she went to bed, while carrying some of her toys, then, covered her entire body with a blanket.
“I'm not your father, I'm your husband, and I don't want you to be like this, Han! Let's get well quickly, dong!”
Erlan tried to persuade the girl gently and softly, but Hanifa was hard to work with until she continued to play the thing that made her bed and blanket dirty.
Erlan grabbed her own hair, she was helpless. He was not unwilling to take Hanifa to a mental hospital, but, all of Hanifa's family and siblings blamed him for their nephew's current condition. His cousins also judged that if Erlan brought Hanifa to the hospital, the sign that he was not sincere to marry and only used Hanifa's wealth.
For the time being, Erlan was still trying to be patient, although she wanted to consider her ears deaf and consider her heart numb but, some people even dared to come to her to conspire.
There were two cousins of Hanifa who had accidentally come to Erlan while relaxing because Hanifa was sleeping, at that time. They asked for a portion or percentage of the commission from the property of Hanifa's parents if the girl was really crazy, they suggested that Hanifa be left alone in the mental hospital for good. And so, the two men would support whatever Erlan would say as an excuse, to his extended family. After that they could sell all the assets of Nadia's parents and divide the results equally.
Of course Erlan did not agree with their plan and he maintained his condition. Although, tired and sometimes bored, he still lived it. He felt strong and able to carry that burden after agreeing to the advice of his father, with various considerations. However, after hearing the news of his father's death made the weak side of his human being visible, until he was sobbed like now.
“What can I do by taking over all my responsibilities, Dad? Do you think I'm as strong as you and as capable as your personality? I'm not you Dad, I'm different. What does it mean to suggest that I marry Hanifa instead of just paying for her hospital fees? See now, I'm getting additional problems from his family. Yes Allah” complained Erlan in his heart.
Finally, Erlan decided to hire a special nurse that she could call with great difficulty, she gave Hanifa a sleeping pill so that the girl could sleep soundly for longer. After the nurse he hired came, Erlan was able to leave the house quietly and his wife was still asleep, and considered Erlan his parents.
*****
Winsi still stands glued on the mound of land that is still red and filled with sprinkles of several kinds of flowers. The eyes can not be separated from the tombstone carved by the name of his adoptive father there, Arkan Hidayah Wijaya, the paint that carved the name may still be wet.
His father's body had just been buried after several people gave Winsi and Erlan the chance to one last time see a quiet, shady face.
“Sleep Daddy, your good charity will accompany you there.” Winsi said as she ventured to kiss the soft cheek of Arkan's corpse for the first and last time.
Now this was where the man was, buried just below his feet, standing looking at the writing of his name with tears in his eyes.
“You till when are you here?” erlan asked while glancing at Winsi who was upright like a wooden meaningless, not hearing and not answering.
“It's dark. Comeing! We're home!” Said the man again.
Everyone has gone, all the friends, relatives and relatives who had participated in delivering the bodies with a flock, together like a wave, have now returned to their respective homes.
Including Anas, Nafadi, and Waila. They will stay at the hotel after that depart back to Jogjakarta the next day. In the public cemetery there are now only Erlan and Winsi. Although, Erlan wanted to leave, she couldn't possibly leave Winsi alone. While the day is getting dark.
It was almost dusk but the wind blowing was still warm, the ground was still warm just as the tears of Winsi that kept dripping was warm. His feet like sticking to the wet ground, reluctant to leave, as if he wanted to be buried there with all the expectations. Along with all the warmth of hugs and affection that he would not get from the same person.
Hearing Provinsi's words, Erlan furrowed his brows, the man knelt down, then turned to Winsi, and said, “Win, you realize no, Dad is not there. Our nature is different, he will not hear you talk like that!”
“Dad knows, no. I've decided to buy a Scoopy motorcycle. So, where not to take the city bus again.”
Winsi spoke again, again he ignored Erlan, deeming him non-existent. When the girl just came from the airport, Erlan appeared at the same time out of nowhere. Winsi saw the man at a glance then ignored him until this second. He was disappointed that the boy had just arrived when his father's body was about to be buried. Where the hell has he been? Her thought.
“Dad, fine yes there, definitely cold. I can't love Daddy the blanket, who can love the light father there is just a child prayer that Sholeh,” Winsi started crying again harder. “Our relationship has broken Dad, except for the son of the Father who is Sholeh, I can only pray that the sins of the Father are forgiven and the Father is happy there.”
“Win, already, lah .. let's go home, it's afternoon!”
Only a gust of wind answered Erlan's invitation.
Winsi wiped her tears, rubbed the gravestone with her palm while saying, “Dad, I must be very upset with Dad. Pokonya I have to come in a dream if later I miss, yes!”
The girl stood up then, stepping past Erlan just like that, as if the man was a ghost that had no look and shape. He started walking down the street out of the cemetery.
Erlan followed Winsi from behind, with both hands tucked in her pants pocket while her eyes looked out of nowhere, in the direction of her mind which was also in a mess of direction.
Suddenly Winsi stopped and turned to face Erlan, making the man shocked.
“Erlan!” winsi said half-screamed, but the person called was silent.
“You don't love, huh, same Dad? Ngaku!”
Erlan looked at Winsi right in her eyeballs. What does he mean he said that? His inner.
“But you are late, where are you? Kasian, right, Dad is taken care of by others, should the corpse be better handled by his closest family!”
Erlan actually wants to be angry with the situation that is happening at this time, but the logic is still much greater than his emotions until he ignores Provis's allegations about his feelings for Arkan—.
“I'm sad, but I don't scream like you. I lost but I don't cry like you, I love it too but don't have to talk to myself in your kayak grave!”
Winsi pouted, hearing Erlan say that, he thought their emotions were different so the way he expressed his loss and affection for Arkan was spontaneity. Not contrived.
“Makanya, so that person does not get the most sad support in the world, who is Arkan's father?” asked Erlan while walking through Provinsi just like that.
Suddenly there was an absurdity of the atmosphere created right then and there, between the emotions of two different kinds of people, between sadness and strangeness and between life and death into one.
Two people who began to grow up chose to perform the congregational magrib prayer at the mosque closest to the cemetery. They had followed the group of bodies on foot, until when they came home, they decided to walk again when they came home later.
Seriate