Suddenly
Strangers. Suddenly…

Campus.

Bookshop.

Movie theater.

Eating ramen near the apartment.

Other places not far from where I live.

Spend the weekend not going anywhere and by just watching a movie with a snack or ordering a meal.

That activity—was always with me before the romance spices touched me.

After that day. Kai called me a few times. Sometimes they come without talking to each other.

Sometimes it also accompanies me to watch movies by sitting on the sofa. Then it ends in the middle of the night, he'll kiss me on the forehead. Just rubbed my head.

I never saw my closeness to Kai on campus again. I'm back to being like the old version I once was.

Kai usually comes in the afternoon, he hugs me tightly without speaking. The next day, I found Kai sleeping on the sofa with a thick blanket.

I don't know…

What the hell is going on?

No one wants to end or try to end.

Sometimes still in my mind. About everything that happened. Not even a single word came out of Rania's mouth. That person came back just like when he first met her.

My injured hand has returned and made me relieved to be back as usual.

Kai and I look more like strangers if it's only seen from the outside.

“I miss you. Really miss you but I have no right to say that.”—Kai

The message was the last time.

Kai never called me again. Never see each other again. Even between me and Kai, no relationship between us has ended.

College also keeps me busy and it deliberately makes me more busy. The club activities helped me a lot too. I took part in all the photography competitions that were going on and three of them I managed to win.

Kai has vacated his apartment. There are rumors circulating that Kai lives with Rania in a luxurious new apartment. Although they did not see their togetherness on campus. My ears are immune to hearing it and become increasingly indifferent unless those people are still hooking me up with the scorn they put out of their irresponsible mouths.

My wandering mind often reminds me of everything that happened to me. Am I being selfish? Or if I lower my ego a little bit and talk to her, are we back together?

Of course, I can't lie to myself. If that feeling does not exist. That's a big mistake. I still have the same feeling. Totally same.

If Kai had suddenly appeared before me right now, I guess I would have hugged him and brought him back but that had become a memory that had passed.

I met him on campus once in a while but like a stranger. I know, should I ask where he moved or is the rumor true? If that's true, I think it's within the priorities he has. But those words never came out of my mouth.

I'm getting hooked on time, something I've always avoided. Because when I talk about time, more and more piles of guilt I want to go back to fix it.

Linking to time makes me realize when to feel the time feels longer and assume waiting is not completely saturating or consider a long holiday is a short time in fact.

“Self, Neng?” ask the ramen seller who knows me for sure.

“Ya.”

“Sorry, yes.Neng.”

“Haha. Why, Sir?”

“There are times when separation does not mean ending each other. May you be among it, Neng.”

Sky only replied with a smile and instead said otherwise, “Why is ramen better than usual?” he really enjoyed it even though the look in his eyes felt like rain water dripping on a hollow road.

I met Ken a few times. Much the same. Both become strangers.

Time has passed, time has accompanied me. Making the list in my life change.

Like living in this apartment.

Do I have to stay and survive until I actually meet my father?

Or is it time to set foot?

More days. It makes me worry more. No day without thinking about it. Thinking about it with doubts that are becoming more and more.

Always change choices with feelings that are also uncertain.

The busyness that is in me feels more and more tired and over time makes me sick. Like losing yourself.

“You want to return this book?”

“Iya,” Sky nodded.

“But, you still have 1 month to return it. What if someone else who will pass on the time interval returns the book?”

“No problem if it can. I have to leave this book or how?”

“Didn't you guys know each other?” the library staff smiled meaningfully. Like doing it intentionally. It looks like that.

Sky checked his phone. There was a notification that he had received the money for the photography competition he won. He also smiled happily once the notification was seen on the screen of his phone.

“You know each other, right?”

“How?” sahut Sky's.

“He will continue. You don't mind, do you?”

My eyes look at it.

Kai.

Him, Kai.

“No,” Sky put the book near Kai.

“Thank you,” said.

The two people who had been in a relationship with each other, walked in different directions.

The looks of the two were also not as they had known before.

A few weeks later before the book came on its date.

The book is on my doorstep.

My footsteps are uncontrollable. I don't know when the book was. My footsteps asked me to chase after him. But not find it.

Even the book has returned to its proper place.

“Are you okay?” ask the library staff.

“Iya, fine.”

“How can the book come back to you?” ask again.

“She returned it.”

“Iya, know. But how?”

“Give it to me.”

“Wah! You're not okay.”

That library's job was only different a few years above mine. That guy had a beautiful smile. “Thank you,” I said as I lowered my head.

“Wait! Where are you going? I'm not done talking.”

“Iya?”

“Hmm, don't you want to be like that book?” said it.

“Hah?”

“Yes, aren't you jealous of the book now? You should have come back to him. You both still save even though they look fooling each other.”

“I don't think it's possible,” Sky's voice shrinks.

“You're definitely back.”

You guys must be back…

Definitely back…

Returning…

Returning…

Continuing to jubilant in my mind with footsteps that suddenly stopped and then suddenly walked. Like that over and over again.

BRUK!

“Aaakhh!” my head hit the door. My eyes widened, not believing what was in front of me. “Am I not still walking near campus?”

“You were up a few minutes ago.”

Sky looked over and…

“Green?”

“Hai, new neighbor!” said it.

“You..”.

“Iya,” Green smiled at me.

“You..”.

“Starting today I live next to you, Sky.”

...***...