DIARY ZARA
49. Clarifications

After 10 days passed without news of Rangga, until now still crossed the memory of him. It might not be that easy to forget.

It takes a long time indeed. It's okay that anything needs a process.

Moreover, my son who always reminded, no matter what Zara has begun to make peace.

22.00 Hours after closing shop. Zara opens whats app Rangga.

Astagfirullah, it turns online. The power of this hand just gatel, want her to type something to be sent to A Rangga.

Astagfirullahaladzim. always istighfar deh Zara if you remember Rangga.

5 Days passed again, becoming 15 days. The rich are serious deh Zara must ask again to A Rangga. ga anything may be yes for just clarification.

Zara did not want to keep thinking about Rangga, it seems that Zara really needs an answer.

"A Rangga how are you? " Zara sent a message.

O Allah forgive Zara yes, because Zara has no self-respect, still sends A Rangga a message. Who can lie to his own feelings, can't.

"A Rangga please give a sign that now you are happy, or you already have another woman that you love, or you are married, or whatever it is that could convince me not to think of you anymore. I'm cape, I want to stop. " Zara sent a whats app message on Rangga Saturday night at 22:47 because Zara could not sleep.

"Not if I see you happy with others, I can stop. You won't bother you anymore. " Obviously Zara.

O Allah, Zara really does not have self-respect, but rather than Zara continues to lie to Zara's own feelings, Zara can not either.

"signs? not enough from yesterday I did not respond? my diemin? " Rangga replied.

"Happy doesn't always have to be the same woman, right?

I am happy in my own way. " Answer Rangga.

No, there is no other woman. What really happened to Rangga.

"Ga's enough. But not so much so that I can stop thinking about A Rangga aja." Answer Zara.

"Keep it? " Tanya Rangga's.

"How can I forget, so I can stop thinking about you, how?" Ask Zara.

"Ga somebody told you to make me think. Tetah already mature, good, beautiful must be many who want the same. Don't keep getting hung up on me huh Zara. From yesterday I was sent, I did not respond, Let me know. Don't use words, enough actions if I don't want to be disturbed, I should understand. " Rangga Clearly.

"Don't ask me how to forget me, I don't know. Because I am not the one who turns my heart back. But the power. " Answer Rangga.

"I also don't want to think about you, have tried repeatedly to avoid and forget, but can't. " Answer Zara.

"Just block all my sosmed with you. And try to stop stalking everything about me. " Answer Rangga.

God, why is it so painful to love this person and why I never give up even though the mind wants to give up but the heart forces me to hold on.

"Udah many times. " Answer Zara.

"Yes, don't open it again. " Rangga Resolute.

"Udah was also erased his number many times. " Answer Zara.

"Do I need to help block everything. Just ask you to block your FB. " Tanya Rangga's.

"Ga need, Nothing is obtained also from sosmed, what to do. Either blocked or not the same. " Zara replied to Rangga's message.

"Many are better than me, look around in life. Open your eyes, and open your heart too. " Rangga Clearly.

"Udah. " Zara couldn't say much more.

"Keep going." Reply Rangga.

Zara gave up either had to say let alone to Rangga.

"Oh yes, the novel is still as rich as your story? his conversation is just as rich a reality as you're experiencing? " Suddenly Rangga asked about my novel. Maybe until now secretly Rangga is still reading my novel.

" Can I talk about Hilmi? " Tanya Rangga's.

"Why with a Hilmi? Yesterday A Hilmi to the anter shop with the om. " Answer Zara.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid it's wrong or something. If your conversation is the same father. I'm so sorry you don't know, Hilmi's married. Afraid that there was a misunderstanding. Just want to tell you that anyway. If you already know, Alhamdulilah " explained Rangga.

"don't know. " Answer Zara.

Zara does not know if A Hilmi is married, if A Hilmi is still single Zara intends to open her heart to A Hilmi, because A Hilmi is also good. But what cares about you Rangga.

"Oh ok. That's why I tell you. There is a misunderstanding, if he is married. " Rangga Clearly.

"Yes, justin. Alhamdulilah, it means that A Hilmi is luckier than you. Indeed A Hilmi looks mature, it is natural that he is married, not rich you. Mercla mcle ain't clear." Answer Zara.

"You can't believe it. You can ask the person directly. "Zara Jawab.

"Ha. ha. I'm not like that for someone else. No need to just be good friends. If A Hilmi is married, thank God. Then I won't continue to open my heart to A Hilmi. Simple right? "Zara Jawab.

"Yes. " Rangga answered briefly.

"That means A Hilmi is dead, because she's married. A Adit supervisor minimarket has not met again with Zara now because of moving duties. A The cloud of Zara from tiktok also disappeared. How would Zara open her heart again. Every one is designed to open their hearts. The people are all missing. I surrendered. " Obviously Zara.

"Lessons for you. Don't open your heart that easily. Everyone has a different character and life story. You are too easy to open your heart without knowing what her status is, her life, her disposition. With a good squirm he then easily open the heart. That's not the concept. "Clearly Rangga.

"OKs. How does Zara have to go?" Ask Zara.

"You know about yourself. " Answer Rangga.

"I was wrong, all this time I thought you were good. I accept all the bad you did to me, I try to understand all your attitude towards me, so that Zara was considered crazy by my own mother. Zara has never hated you, despite all the treatment you have done for Zara, wishing you to change, wishing you to be a good person, as I always prayed. like you said, we both improve and strengthen each other. Everyone must have made mistakes too. What end, you choose to disappear and leave. " Obviously Zara.

How can Zara open her heart to others she doesn't already know. As for you as well as Rangga, Zara tries to know you through the instructions of the prayer of Istikharah, every night Zara asks Allah, to be guided about you. Until Zara gets 10 sets of dream clues about you. Maybe that's not enough for you.

If you know, I love you sincerely. It doesn't require any reason, and it doesn't require any explanation of your past, I love you for today and for the future. How you are now, and how you are heading for the future with me, that's enough.

But if you don't want that, Zara can what, maybe Zara does have to lose the person that Zara loves so much right now, but remember maybe you will lose Zara, the one who loves you so sincerely, what you are right now. And Zara is sure that God will replace her by presenting someone who is able to appreciate Zara and love Zara someday even if it is not you Rangga.

"I'm not a good person. I often say I am not good. Not as arrogant as you say in the novel. When I say dead 1 grows 1000. Not arrogant but you have to think that I am not good for you. " Rangga replied with a laughing emoticon.

"Not wrong either. It's just that the dream you received was true because of the khaliq or because what is in your mind is always me and me. Not doubting istikharah let alone blaming. " Answer Rangga.

Wallahu 'a lam, Zara doesn't know.

"Broast to playboy. " Strustful Zara to Rangga.

"Try to throw away everything about me. Nothing can be called a memory, right? I think personally. All this time we've only been as late as doang, right?" Ask Rangga.

"And I have often said. I'm not as good as you've thought. Whatever, say arrogant, want to say arrogant. What ever's. " Rangga replied with 3 laughing emoticons.

"Astagfirullah, it turns out there are humans like this. " Zara can only stroke the chest and sigh that feels tight in the chest.

"If only I could throw it away, I threw it in the trash first, you are serious Rangga. because the place that suits you may indeed be a garbage can. Or throw it into the sea. "Zara Jawab.

"God is all-knowing. Do not consider it dead just like in the novel "Answer Rangga.

"Oh, but life is alive again. He said it was broken up but this could still reply to Zara's chat. Oh yes where try to show your collection of girls so I can trust. If your collection is a lot of girls, maybe you are easy to choose who you will make a wife, and surely you are married now. A Adit my brother already has 2 children he is the same age as you, you are still that way. Dizziness due to too many women. Selected only, if necessary jajarin selection which is perfect to be a companion life arjuna handsome like you. If there is a lot of collection. " Zara Greget really wanted to slap her hard if Rangga was in front of me now.

"You think I'm dead. Okay, let's just say I'm dead forever."Reply Rangga.

"Is it worse than that, the type of woman his wife person turns out. " Task Zara.

"What is worse? " Tanya Rangga's.

"You know, you know what you do to women. " Answer Zara.

"Honestly yes, no matter how often you chat me, it will not make my heart melt Zara, which is uncomfortable. " Rangga Clearly.

Astagfirullah. Strong heart of Zara, O God.

"Ok bye, Assalamu'alaikum. " Zara retaliated.

"Wa'alaikumsalam's chat. " Answer Rangga.

"Don't read my novel, kepo. "Message Zara.

"It's not just your novel, as long as it's about me. Especially the kids in the store. For example, Hilmi, Kalo ga tau, would have continued right. Misunderstandings in other people's households, Kasian Hilmi who doesn't know anything." Reply Rangga.

"Oh yes, thank you very much a playboy for the information about Hilmi. " Answer Zara.

"Yes. " Rangga Reply.

"Let's be calm, I'm not going to do anything, A Hilmi. Hopefully you will soon repent, Rangga. " Do'a Zara's.

"It's none of your business. "Jawab Ranges.

"You're in whatever Hilmi's up to you, good ugly know? " Tanya Rangga's.

"Just pray, and I'm sorry Zara isn't the type of actor. Just want to get a sholeh husband. " Answer Zara.

"Amen. " Answer Rangga.

"You're not sholeh, either. " Answer Zara.

"Greetings, right? yes already. " Tanya Rangga's.

"Emang, yes, don't be missed anymore. " Rangga Clearly.

"Udah. " Answer Zara.

Zara deletes all chat from Rangga.

"All clean up, done. " Zara sent me a screen shoot story chat with Rangga.

" It was your husband's chat, right? " Tanya Rangga, because the name of her contact is My Husband.

"Yes. " Zara responded by sending her contact no. Just so you know, it was Zara chat with Rangga not with Ditto.

At 23:45 Zara ends Zara's chat with Rangga.

But Zara still could not sleep. That evil Rangga to me. His words were very painful.

At 00:56 Zara sent Rangga a message back.

"Kok you can be that bad anyway?" Ask Zara.

"I am evil. Let me be aware, let me understand. It's not forever what we want in this world we can always get. It is not as long as what we hope in this world can be accomplished. Never hope that humans can be realized. " Rangga replied, directly reply to Zara's chat, Zara thought Rangga had slept apparently not yet.

"Thank you, there is a reason why God loves you with me. Cool. " Answer Zara.

"Maybe true yes, not all former students are Sholeh. This is proof there is one model like this. " Answer Zara.

"Ha. ha. former said. Please try to discredit me as to what. As I said. Never get to know someone just by knowing them for a moment. Funny little shit. " Answer Rangga.

"At least you know the knowledge, not like me, Zara including the jahiliyah, who do not know much about the science of religion, only now Zara wants to learn to improve. "Zara Jawab.

"Zara will not mock you, Zara spoke according to the facts experienced and felt. Zara is lucky to have known a freak like you. Zara is funny, you know, where to?" Answer Zara.

"Ga need to bring santri's name in the life of someone who does not even know about someone. Do not feel that you know someone more than the person himself. " Rangga Clearly.

"Not fully know yourself, right? good to know. Ugly yourself knew? Ask Rangga.

I just found out about his own people, right? " Task Zara.

"Wkwkwkwk.. And believe that right away? " Tanya Rangga laughed.

The ribat vow of Rangga's life, his talk convoluted. Zara dizzy. Zara could no longer.

"I remind you once again. Do not feel like you know someone more than you know yourself. And take the name of the rich power yesterday. Know yourself first. I'm tired of not talking anymore. " Answer Rangga.

"At least people who have a religious education from childhood, his behavior will not be that bad. Sometimes we need others, to judge how good we are to others, to reflect ourselves, as a reprimand so we can improve ourselves. We cannot necessarily judge ourselves without the views of others, but we cannot rely only on the opinions of others to ourselves. Two of them are very important for the process of self-improvement. Because man is a social being, how does he relate well to man the creature of God, and how does he have a good relationship with God." Zara clear.

"From small? Did I ever say from a small child? Bad huh? yes. yes.. yes..up to all your thoughts I don't care. " Rangga replied with a laughing emoticon.

"Ga once said, but surely your father taught religion from childhood, until he died. It is only after he died that you learn by yourself, you have no guidance on where you will go. All parents are like that. " Answer Zara.

"Well, I'm a bad person, I'm a bad person. What else do you want?" Ask Rangga.

"Ga nothing, thank God you are able to admit. It's not easy." Zara understands that Zara appreciates that.

"It must be educational, right? how rich do you know about my family? Ask Rangga.

"All parents must be like that too A Rangga. " Answer Zara.

"Yes emang. Said who? " Tanya Rangga's.

"Said Zara just now. " Answer Zara.

"Udahlah, you will never understand.have not chat again. Consider never known, assume never existed. It's considered dead too." Reply Rangga.

"Know you know, there's no harm. What am I suing for? you demand nothing from you, right? " Task Zara.

"Ga is demanding but I feel annoyed with your chat. Do you know the word disturbed? understand what?" ask Rangga.

"Yes Zara is sorry. " Answer Zara.

"Usually people who understand that word, will stop bothering. Thanks though. " Answer Rangga.

"Either. " Zara answered.

at 1.36 midnight Rangga Zara's chat ends.

Astagfireullah, earthquake.

Zara surprised. Because my bed is shaking. There was a pretty strong earthquake, but it didn't make my dad wake up either.

Zara keeps Zara's cell phone for sleep.

Thank you very much A Rangga for the clarification. Zara knows Zara loves the wrong person all along, Zara expects the wrong person all along. Thanks for such a lengthy explanation. No more unfinished bussines in Zara's heart because all the questions in Zara's heart and mind have been answered. Rangga is not good for Zara.