DIARY ZARA
29. Untaste

Dream again, again dream with Rangga. I can't dream with Rangga anymore.

When Zara begins to forget, she begins to make peace with all the memories of Rangga. The dream always comes up again.

Suddenly I woke up at 2pm, I automatically opened my whats app and opened the Rangga whats app. Turns out it was still there, when I saw the picture. Rangga's back, always Rangga's back is visible.

"Oh my God, I miss you.. I would love to hug that back. The impossible is it, God? Who is he, who am I. You can't have feelings like this Zara. " Zara spoke to herself while staring at a Rangga's profile photo and did not feel my tears dripping again.

"Astagfirullah. " Zara realized, it's a sin. You can't be like that. Zara reminded herself of Zara.

Zara immediately woke up and took ablution water to perform tahajud prayers.

After Zara prayed the tahajud, Zara prayed and told Allah Swt. End with crying again and again. Only when she prayed could Zara pour out all of Zara's heart to Allah. And tomorrow morning everything will be fine.

I went back to following the enlightenment of my healer on youtube.

He said that, Zara experienced unfinished business with someone.

Unfinished business is a term that is well known in the world of psychology. Simply put, unfinished business is a memory or emotion associated with past experiences. These emotions and experiences are not successfully expressed because they are too painful. At first glance, unfinished business may feel trivial for some people, or it may be as long as life can still run, he said, unfinished business is consciously or unconsciously suppressed so that it is no longer considered its existence by the individual .

Facing a breakup with a partner is not easy. It will become increasingly unfavorable 

when the figure who left did not provide an explanation of the reason for the separation that occurred. The individual becomes curious about the reasons behind the breakup and does not manage to gain an understanding of the breakup.

From there it can be understood that unfinished business in a person can be detrimental to himself in this period or against

how he sees the future. The main key to solving unfinished business is to really understand and deal with feelings that have not been expressed before.

"Then how did Zara solve all this? " Zara asked him.

And he suggested that if indeed Zara could still contact her person. Call him, not to beg to come back. But just to talk about his feelings. After the feeling is complete, there is no more attachment in the heart, no more feeling of excessive expectation, no more desire to have it. That's the point of success.

Means you have been able to kill your ego, have been able to neutralize the taste, in the end united or not, will not be a big problem for you. Try it!! He advised Zara to resolve Zara's feelings towards Rangga in such a way.

"Zara you must realize, Rangga is nobody, you must remember well." Zara spoke inwardly.

"A Ranges. " Zara ventured to send her a message.

"The moon? " A Rangga immediately replied to my message with his Sundanese language as usual.

"Astagfirullah, it was still responded well, O Allah. " Zara spoke inwardly.

"Hushy huh? No more anger? " Zara asked A Rangga.

"Yes that's.. Meanin? " Rangga replied and asked back.

What yes, Zara has to say, Zara is afraid of mispronouncing.

"Ga slack? I'm afraid to disturb." Zara is afraid of interrupting the time of a Rangga.

"Veasy?? been home. Reply Rangga.

"Thank you A Rangga for everything. " Zara retaliated.

Zara responded with a crying emoticon.

"Eh.. why? " Rangga immediately asked.

"Oh my God, I'm honestly powerless. I don't know what to tell him. I don't know what to talk to him about. There are so many things I want to talk about. So many things I want to know about her, so many things I want to express. If it's close, I'd like to borrow her shoulder for a minute. I can't say anything anymore. Just need that shoulder for me to lean on. Although there is always a Sajadah that accompanies my every prostration.

Zara was crying again.

"A Ranges.... " There is only one name that I always say in my every prayer, and God knows that very well.

"Zara you are very crybaby anyway, the most hobbyist man actually. It's just that not many people know about it. Zara is strong, you are a strong woman.

"Ga. I just want to cry, just a minute. " Zara replied to Rangga's chat again.

"Basic. " Rangga replied briefly.

"Oh yes, SR is good now? Ask Zara.

"It has to evolve. "Jawab Ranges.

"Alhamdulillah. " Zara retaliated.

Now only PR Zara develops Zara's shop, the time will lose to A Rangga. A Rangga can grow, Zara shop period is not.

But yeah hard guys, my dependents are too much, it doesn't feel like it's going to be that fast my store is growing with all its limitations.

Especially when the late groceries are sent by the om, the buyer must have been missed. Yes, how else, the om is also a lot of busyness, of course. Zara can only stroke the chest, patient Zara patiently, you have a myriad of patient stock, calm down. It's only temporary if it's time Zara finds the right partner in life. God willing, all will be beautiful in time.

It's okay, always grateful to still be able to eat.

The next day, Zara woke up suddenly again at 2 p.m.

"This must be the tahajud prayer alarm again from Allah." Zara got out of bed to get some water.

After the prayer Zara open the phone. A Rangga online.

"A Rangga is sleeping? " Zara sent a message.

It was read but not answered.

"Pronounced doang, not in bales? " Tanya Zara with a laughing emot.

"Astagfirullah Zara." Zara realized you should not send a message to men hey, instead you learn hijrah.

Indeed, Rangga was the only man who always made Zara's faith waver. The toughest test for Zara. Doesn't apply to other men. Even Zara never likes it if there are other men who try to get close to Zara.

O Allah, if indeed you do not allow Rangga and Zara to meet physically, let us meet in tahajud prayer O Allah.

In the third tonight, only Rangga's name is always mentioned in the do'a. If you don't want us to be together, that's okay. Help Zara to make Zara sincerely accept her, even if it is very difficult.