Forbidden Love On A Full Night
Slipping Difference

At noon, Pramana brings her family home so that Niki can put their children to sleep. Oom Rudy and Aunt Linda decided to take a walk and look around if they could find something to eat that did not come from an automatic food vending machine. While my mother, she seemed to be asleep in the chair.

As I got up, I wriggled* to relax the stiffness in my back and shoulders, then grabbed my mother's coat and covered her body. I sighed*, I hate hospitals, hate waiting, hate not knowing if my father would get out of this place alive. And I hate it when I remember Ram's quick blood-riding nature and his big mouth that really sucks. I need comfort, not spicy words. But still I hope he will come, he will be here with me, hugging me and offering a little consolation for me.

While walking down the hallway, I stared out the window, glared into the quiet distance, then looked down and tried to pray.

I had no idea how long I had been standing there when I realized I was no longer alone. Raising my head, I saw the reflection of myself and a tall, field-shouldered man standing behind me on the dark glass. My heart was pounding faster as I turned around slowly facing...

"Mas Ram?" the man's name came out of my lips. He was wearing a white T-shirt, jeans, and a blue jacket matching his jeans. I was very happy and without hesitation walked over to Ram and closed my eyes as the sturdy arm held me. Finally, one of my prayers has been answered.

Ram hugged me tightly, as if afraid of losing me. And of course, he was very scared. A tough man like himself who wasn't even afraid of death, who could count the moments he felt afraid, very frightened - - with a fingers-on, one-handed fingers, can be very frightened when faced with a situation like this now, while waiting for his soulmate to turn to face him. With his attitude this morning that was so annoying, he should have prepared himself had I not cared about him, slapped him, or chased him away, he could not blame me. He deserves that treatment.

Well, I was upset and very upset with him, but my love was much bigger than that. I prefer to vent my feelings by returning her arms tightly.

Ram rubbed my back, buried his face into the fur of my hair, hugging me with all his might. I felt my body tremble, and I felt my tears wash over her shirt, and I hugged her even tighter.

"Don't cry, honey. Shhh.. Don't cry."

Sobbing, I looked up at Ram. "I can't believe you're here."

Ram suddenly pecked. "You want me to go?"

"No!" I gripped his shirt. "Don't go. You don't know how scared I am in a situation like now. I'm afraid of my father...." My cry exploded and shook my body. "I need you here. I need you to accompany me, please...?"

Ram nodded in concern. "That's what I came for," he said. He pulled me back and hugged me tightly as I started crying again. "I'm here for you."

That's when my mother woke up. Shortly afterwards Pramana stepped out of the elevator, while Oom Rudy and Aunt Linda walked a veer down the aisle carrying a tray full of sandwiches and cups filled with coffee.

I do not know how long I stood there, clinging to my beloved's burly body, had he not cleared his throat and loosened his arms.

My mom looked at Ram as if she was seeing a ghost.

Pramana, Oom Rudy, and Aunt Linda suddenly stopped their steps when they saw me trapped in the arms of a foreign man in their eyes.

If I hadn't been worried about my father, I would have laughed at the expressions on their faces. My mother looked in shock. Pramana looks as if she wants to punch the man who has been sassy hugging his sister very intimately. What if he finds out that the man has even made love to me, three times, and, has taken the virginity of his beloved sister? He could kill Ram if he found out about it.

Then, when I thought the atmosphere couldn't have been more awkward, the elevator door opened and Mr. Reporter stepped out.

My mother spoke first. Taking off his coat from his shoulder, he stood up. "Finally, how about you introduce your friend?"

"Yes, Purna. Why not introduce him?" taunting Mr. Hartawan. "I'm sure they all want to know the man who made you leave me."

Ram narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

I rema* Ram's arm. "This is Ramana Lingga Pradita. Mas Ram, you know my mother, Mrs Mahardika. That's my eldest brother, Pramana, and my uncles and aunts, Oom Rudy and Aunt Linda."

Ram nodded.

"What's he doing here?"

"I can ask you the same thing" said Ram.

"Brothers, I beg you." My mother moved between the two men, who were equally tall. "It's not the right time and place."

Mr. Reporter wrapped his arm around my mother's shoulder. "You're right, of course," he said. "Sorry."

To ease the tense atmosphere, we all sat down. Mr. Hartawan sat next to my mother, while Pramana sat on the other side of my mother. I sat down next to Ram, clasping his hand tightly as if I would never let go again. Oom Rudy and Aunt Linda hand out sandwiches and coffee, then sit down too.

The time was almost before the magrib when the doctor appeared. His gaze skimmed through everyone, then stopped on my mother. "I think the critical period is over. We'll be more sure of his condition before tomorrow night."

My mother fell limp onto her eldest son's body, her eyes filled with tears of relief, while I held on tightly to Ram's arm.

The doctor smiled, obviously happy to be able to tell you the good news. "What if you all go home and sleep? If anything changes, we'll let you know soon."

Mother shakes. "I think-"

I stepped forward and grabbed my mother's hand. "Come, Ma. Doctor's right. Mama needs to sleep. We all are." I patted my mother's arm. "Mama doesn't want Papa to see Mama with this condition, right? He'll wonder why his wife isn't as beautiful as usual."

My mother laughed softly. "All right." He stood up and reached out to the doctor. "thank you. But you'll call if there's a change, won't you? Any change?"

"definitely. Go home and try not to worry anymore. I'm sure the worst is over."

I helped my mother collect our luggage, while Pramana pressed the elevator button.

Ram moved away, well aware that he was there just because of me, and not part of our family. He stood beside me in the elevator moving down, and realized the grim expression of my former fiancee.

Outside, we all stopped under the street lights.

"Our car is in the parking area on the next block" my uncle said. "We'll meet you at home."

My mother nodded and turned to face Mr. Hartawan. "Thank you for coming. We'll let you know if there's any change."

That-clearly a statement to subtly expel.

Mr. Reporter muttered something and hugged my mother. The man glanced at me who was standing next to Ram, then looked at Ram for quite a while, with a clearly visible threatening expression, before stepping away.

I quickly agreed. "That's a great idea, Ma. I think Mama can go home with Kak Pram," I said. "I'll leave my car here, too. I'm going home with Mas Ram."

"Wait a minute, Purna. I-i think"

I stared intently at my eldest brother. "It doesn't matter what you think, dear Brother," cut me in a honey-sweet tone. "I think that's a good idea." I grabbed Ram's hand. "Come?"

While nodding, Ram led me to where he parked his truck. He opened the door for me, helped me up, then circled the truck towards the side of the wheel and snuck in. For his own safety, Ram did not say a word.

Well, I solved the problem for him. "Thank you for coming. You have no idea how much I want you here."

"Honey, I'm sorry for my reaction when you called earlier. I have no right to speak like that. I should have known that you wouldn't just leave without a good reason. All the way here...." He grinned with regret. "I don't know if you still want to talk to me."

I smile. "But you keep coming."

"You are sad. I don't know if I can help, but I have to try."

Ah, relief.

"I'm glad you're sorry. But please, next time don't be so bad to me. I won't be able to leave you again. I can't break up, and I can't live without you. Promise?"

Ram nodded, still with his guilt. "I promise."

With a happy smile, I plopped into Ram's arms and buried my head in his chest. He hugged me very tightly, and that's when I was sure that no matter what difference there was between us, we would definitely be able to overcome it. I hope he has the same faith.

"We'd better get out of here" he said. "The doctor was right. You need to sleep."

I huddled by Ram's side all the way home.

As soon as we arrived, Ram stopped his truck in front of the gate of my house, waiting while I lowered the window and spoke to the doorman. Not long after, Ram drove his truck through the gate. Then turn off the lights and the engine of his truck in the parking lot. "We'll see you again tomorrow?"

"Of course." I yawn from behind my hand. "Let's go in. I'm so tired."

Ram looked at me, seeming to wonder if he had not misheard.

"Come on." I pulled his hand.

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"I think this is a good idea."

"But-"

"Come on, you better stay here."

"I don't think your mother...."

"Mama won't mind."

"But your brother objected."

"Unfortunately I'm the one who lives here. Not him." I pulled Ram's hand again, this time stronger. "Come on, I'm too tired to argue about this. Pity me, I haven't slept at all since last night. Yea? Please?"

Reluctantly, Ram grabbed his backpack from the bottom of the truck and followed me up the wide steps. I opened the elegant opaque glass door made of carved oak, and Ram followed me through a broad foyer and tiled black-and-white checkered motif like a chessboard, towards the spacious room with high ceilings with furniture that is so original and elegant that it makes him glance clumsy.

"The guest bedroom is located upstairs" I said in a soft voice. "Come on."

Ram followed me up the staircase. The thick dark brown carpet dampened the sound of our footsteps.

I stopped at the door at the end of the hall. "I hope you feel comfortable here. Just swipe at home. There's clean sheets on the bed. If you want to take a shower, there's a clean towel in there." I pointed at the door across the hall. "That's my room."

Ram stood glued, like a snot boy who was just on a first date, wondering if he would dare to kiss her good night here in this house.

Obviously he did not dare. He was silent, though I was obviously waiting. So yeah, that's it. I'm the one who has to do it. "Good night, Mommy" I whispered, in a tone as subtle and sweet as possible, with a smile.

"Night" he said clumsy.

Stupid fuck! I tiptoed, slipped both hands behind his head and to his waist, then kissed him. Right on his lips. I gave her a loving look, and kissed her lips again. "I love you so much. Once again thank you for coming. See you tomorrow, Mommy."

I almost laughed seeing Ram just nodding, agitated.

Afraid someone will see? Eh?

Behind me, he observed my hip swing as he had always enjoyed it since he was a teenager, which became his habit. I crossed the hall and opened my door. I stepped in, smiled at him from behind my shoulder, then closed the door, wanting to laugh at the man who was clearly standing there, resisting the urge to follow me.

The next few minutes, I had been wearing a nightgown and was folding a bedcover when I heard the sound of running water. I glanced over my shoulder, my imagination waking up thinking of Ram bathing right across the hall. I imagined that I could join him in the bathtub, to soothe his back, share a bed with him, and make love to him tired and helpless.

Hurry up and get rid of that fantasy. It is not safe to wander down that road, or to carry my hopes high, but I have no power to restrain myself. Ram has left the farm to catch up with me. I still can't believe that. I thought, like that was eight years ago, he came to look for me to maintain our relationship, but I went on vacation with my family instead.

I nodded, not wanting to think about the past.

What matters now is that she's with me, my mind while sneaking under the covers. I closed my eyes and let my imagination wander wildly as I imagined Ram soaking in the bathtub, right across the hall....