Forbidden Love On A Full Night
Ego!

Ram muttered all the vows he knew as he left the inn. I who quietly followed him felt very sad to realize that the situation between us that I knew was about to taper off again.

"Why would I believe that the relationship between him and his rich girlfriend is over? You idiot! I'm sure it was a guy named Hartawan. Needless to say, he had come to take home his runaway bride. Well, to get back to where it should be. Basic old man, wearing the latest cowboy clothes, as if his appearance like that fit in this place. Heh! Clothing may have an effect on the people of the city, but it takes more than just new jeans and expensive shirts to become a cowboy. Goddamn bum! I should have known that the woman was going back to her senses and of course she was going to call home. Wh why? Why would I let myself believe there was hope for both of us? He's like the sun, Ram. He's so brilliant, but he can't be achieved! He's not your reach! You're just a poor man destined to admire himself from a distance. That's all!"

Why, after all, could he not be patient for a bit? Why don't you talk to me first?

Once again Ram swore. "At least I haven't told her that I still love her. At least I didn't embarrass myself. Yeah! Good thing."

While stopping at the stables, Ram asks Emil to take over the morning horse riding event.

"You sick?" ask Emil.

"No. I'm just not in a good mood to set those rookies up. Can you replace me?"

"Of course, it doesn't matter" Emil said. "Let me and Alex take care of the city's fraudsters."

"thank you. By the way, because I owe you. I'll replace you with a second group this afternoon."

Emil pointed his thumb. "No problem, man!"

While nodding, Ram ran a small path along the river to his cottage. He pulled the Endru rope from the fence post, melaso the wild horse and tied it to the milestone in the middle of the cage. He stood there for a while, softly speaking to the stallion, rubbing his neck until the animal calmed down. Moving quickly and efficiently, it installs a hackamore on the horse's head, tidying up the covers and fastening the saddle. While unbinding, Ram took the bridle and jumped into the saddle.

The horse stood there for a moment, its entire body trembling, before it ran across the stable, fighting back. The horse spun quickly for a few moments, narrowly throwing Ram out of the saddle, before running back across the stable, fighting and jumping around.

Ram threw his head back, the distinctive strangulation of victory rising in his throat as the stallion began to gallop and gradually stepped slowly.

Leaning his body, Ram patted the neck of the breeding horse. "That's enough for today, boy. Good job!"

"Brava!"

Ram looked over his shoulder and saw me perched on the top fence of the cage. "What are you doing here?"

I bit my lips, hurt to hear the tone of speech and the accusatory glare that radiated in those deep black eyes. "Why are you talking rudely? You want me to go? Why can't you just be a little patient for me, as gentle as you treat that horse."

Ram looked around. "Where is Mr. Reporter?"

"He should call some people."

Ram grumbled softly as he rode towards me. "Checking his shares, no more wrong," he sneered, then he snorted. "What do you want?"

"Ram, please don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Don't avoid me. I can't stand it."

"You said your relationship was over, but he was here. Are you going to tell me it was just a coincidence? You think I'm stupid?"

"I can't prevent him from coming for me."

"Go back to him. There's nothing for you here."

"You didn't mean it! Not after last night!"

"Furna, forget. I'm not worthy of you. Never been worthy. Last night, being so close to you, I...." Ram shrugs his shoulders. "This relationship won't work, and you know it."

I shake sadly. "That's not true...."

"really? Look at me carefully. I have nothing I can offer you."

I looked at Ram silently, and I hoped that the pain in my eyes would tear her up if she still loved me.

I'm standing too close. It would be very easy to grab me, and lift me up in the saddle, if he wanted that. But it seems that I'm the only one who wants that. If he wanted to, Ram didn't.

Thenwhat? Ram clenched his hands tightly, holding himself back from reaching for me? Perhaps, seeing me with the man who was supposed to be my ex-lover made things seem more palpable in his eyes, more palpable than before? That he's not good enough for me?

Goddamn bum!

Why doesn't he want to understand? I felt like he and I were made to complement each other, as if there was no difference at all. But her? Perhaps he felt that I was made of silk while he was made of cheap cotton. He felt like we were very different and would never fit together, did he? You stupid man.

"Damn it!" he muttered. "I don't even have my own car."

"What's that important? Heh? I didn't ask for a car from you! I just asked you to love me! That's all!"

"Stop talking nonsense, Purna! Go home! I don't want to see you still here."

It hurts my heart. I stared at the man, holding back the stinging tears from falling. I wanted to ask him to reconsider all this, I wanted to punch my fist in that sturdy, masculine chest and tell him that I loved him so much and that there was never another man, that he won't find another woman who loves him like my love. Like the magnitude of my love. But the same self-esteem, the same damn self-esteem that had separated us before, trapped those words in the throat. I told Ram last night that I wanted to live with him, but what was the effect? There ain't!

Meanwhile, up ahead, clasping tightly on the bridle, Ram just looked at me. Doesn't he think that he just made the biggest mistake of his life? Doesn't he feel that letting me go is very painful for him?

Maybe for him it's better to do it now than later. Because he was always pessimistic. Maybe he thinks that it's true that I still love him, in my own way. And he also thought that after a year or two of living with him and living on a very small salary, I would come back to my senses. He's thinking small. He thought that he would not be able to give me a big house or a servant. He will not be able to give me unlimited accounts or holidays to Europe. And he thought he wouldn't let me finance his life. Because his brain thinks that I will realize that his mind is right and I will thank him one day.

Goddamnit! I'd love to drill her brain and replace it with a new one so she has an optimistic attitude like me.

But I am helpless.

As I shrouded myself with the dignity of a robe, I descended from the railing and with my chin raised and shoulders straightened, I walked towards the path along the river. Only after Ram couldn't see me anymore did I let my tears break.

But I know, I haven't given up.

Not yet!