Forbidden Love On A Full Night
Rain of Tears

It's raining heavily now. Ram bowed his shoulders and ran across the courtyard towards the row of huts, while Aunt El passed by and entered the administration office.

At that time, for some reason, again I was unable to control myself. I stepped out, wanting to spend the rest of my time here to see that face. Although only from far away and from my hiding place, but I want to see it. Enjoyed my last moments. For I will not retract my words last night: I will leave tomorrow after I have kept my promise to Mr. Hartawan. He will leave the inn, as well as me, I will also leave after the man leaves.

In the rain, I followed Ram and felt a hint of happiness as the man stopped at my cottage - albeit with a confused expression. Perhaps he was thinking about what reason he should tell me when he saw that he was at my door.

But I wasn't there, Ram. I'm right here....

Why should it be so naive? After he dumped me last night and made me cry all night and I decided to leave, he gave me hope again. Like a kite, the man pulled my heart out.

What do you want? You obviously asked me to leave last night. You don't want me to be here. And you don't want to see me anymore and don't want to be involved with me anymore. So, what are you doing there in the rain, knocking on my door? You broke my heart so many times....

I tried desperately to hold myself. I wanted so badly to call out his name, appear before him, but I was so afraid that in the end he would dump me again.

Hold yourself, Purna. Don't come any closer.

Ram waited for a moment, then knocked again, louder. If he understands me, he knows that I'm not asleep at this hour. It's ten o'clock past now.

Frowning, Ram held the doorknob and turned it around. The door of my cottage opened and he looked through the doorway. "Purn?"

Even when calling my name, he must have known the cottage was empty. He once said, he was always able to feel whenever I was around him.

As soon as he closed the door, Ram walked towards the lounge. Because of the rain, the place was full of people. Children play video and board games, some of which watch cartoon films. Adults read, or play cards or just chat. But one thing is for sure, there is no sign of me in there.

After coming from the lounge, Ram checked the laundry room, then stopped by my cottage once again, then went to the cage.

Emil looked up from the horse he brushed and greeted Ram. "I don't think we're riding today."

"No. Have you seen Miss Mahardika?"

"Not since yesterday."

"Hi, Denis, have you seen Miss Mahardika?"

The teenage boy employed by Aunt El looked up from the paraphernalia room at the back of the cage. "I don't know her name, but a young woman came here this morning and went with a horse."

That's definitely not me. I thought, maybe that's how Ram panicked when I got lost in the woods the other day.

"What's the guy like?"

Denis smiles. "The woman was very pretty, with long black hair and-"

"You're letting him go alone?" ask Ram in a sharp tone.

"Well, he said he'd just be riding around the yard, so I...."

"Damn!" Ram swearing. "Why does the girl like to repeat mistakes? Stupidhead! Labile! Be stubborn! He's always a child! It only makes people worry!"

And you can just curse. Like you're not the cause of my stability. Basic sucks!

Ram glanced at his watch "How long has he been gone?"

Denis shrugged his shoulders. "Two hours ago, I guess. Why?"

Ram nodded slowly. "What horse did he bring?"

"Sorry, I gave Ram to him. He chose it because he liked the horse."

Geez, I almost chuckled at Ram's flushed expression as Emil couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Not just the guy," ledek Emil. "He even liked the horse."

Ram glares. "Be quiet. Stop that laugh." Ram got a glimpse of Ram's cage. The cage is empty.

"I'm sorry, Mas Ram," Denis said.

"Do you think he's in trouble?" ask Emil.

Looking past Emil, Ram cursed as a stallion named Ram galloped into the stable. He grabbed the stallion. His gaze moved swiftly down the horse, checking for any signs of injuries.

"He didn't seem to be hurt" Emil said.

"No."

"Thank God."

"Emil, please go to the dining room and tell Welly to wrap the food in stock. Enough for a day or two. Denis, please get me two blankets and a P3K box. And don't say anything to Aunt El. There's no need to worry her until we know there's something to worry about.

Denis rushed out of the cage.

"Do you think that girl was hurt?" ask Emil.

Ram raises his shoulders. "I don't know. I hope not." Ram thrust the stallion to Emil. "I'm going back to my cabin to get a jacket and some gloves. If you come back here earlier than me, put the food in the saddle bag. And please keep this horse until I get back."

"All right."

Ram saddles Dakota, then rides into his cabin.

Sorry if I made you anxious. But you still have to go look for the guest of the inn that the stallion left behind somewhere.

I left the cage area, decided to go back to my cottage where Ram wasn't here for a while. But before I got to the cottage, someone called me. He said there was a flower from Mr. Hartawan at the reception. And I'll go there soon.

I have to go for a while because I have a job. But I'll pick you up in time tonight. Bye then. Dress up pretty for me.

Ah, relief. Thank goodness Mr. Reporter was away instead of waiting for me at the cottage.

From the reception desk, I immediately stepped back into the cottage area. And Ram was there, outside my cabin. He wore a thick, heavy sheepskin jacket, replacing his leather sandals with boots, a pair of hairy leather gloves, a flashlight on the head, and the rifle on his back that he then slipped behind the Dakota mannequin that was complete with his saddle bag. He was stunned for a moment, then after believing he had brought everything needed including a match that he had just taken out of his pocket and then he slipped it into a saddle bag, Ram ran inside my cabin and came back out in just half a minute with one of my clothes he found on top of my bed, then crouched down in front of Toshu who was holding on to the steps and let the pet sniff the soft cotton.

"Find him for me" he said. "Find him one more time for me." Giving up on temptation, Ram immersed his face in my soft cotton. "Please, I hope he's okay" he murmured, then slipped the cotton under his jacket.

I have to go, my inner self as Toshu starts sniffing to the ground while Ram goes down the steps, my inner self, jumped on the horse's back and held the leash as it was about to summon its clever dog - who quickly learned of my whereabouts. He's barking.

"Purn?"

I hadn't run far when Ram and his steed managed to face me. The man jumped down and quickly approached me, grabbing me into a hug.

My hands want to move. I'd love to return Ram's hug to my body. But the fear of heartache because hope that is always dashed by disappointment keeps my hands in place.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head at the same time as Ram took his hand off me.

"Where have you been? I'm so worried about you."

Thank you, I said in my heart. I lifted my hand holding the bouquet of flowers that were soaking wet like me, drenched in the rain with a strong wind. Because of you, I even forgot my fear of the rain. "I went to the receptionist, took a flower."

As usual, Ram cursed. "Your eyes are puffy, have you been crying all night? Because me? I'm sorry, Purna. I didn't mean to...."

"Sorry for making you see me again."

I was just about to leave when Emil showed up shouting Ram's name, then he looked at me. "Well, it wasn't Miss Purna riding that stallion. But another guest. He got off the horse to take a photo and walked too far, and he forgot to tie his horse. So.." the young man raised his shoulders realizing the situation that had arisen was not timely. "That's all I want to tell you. "I'll excuse you."

I didn't wait a second to turn around to avoid Ram and find Aunt El in front of me with her umbrella.

"Thank God you're here" he said. "Auntie is worried about you."

I tried to smile at him, and thank the rain that hid my tears. "Auntie told me to take a shower, so I took a bath."

But the old woman understood completely. He nodded sadly. "We're back at the cottage."

I nodded, stepping in tears covered in rainwater, leaving Ram in a state of agitation.

Thanks for worrying about me, Ram. But my heart was too sick to accept rejection. Because my struggle will mean nothing if you do not want to fight for me. You don't want to fight me.