Forbidden Love On A Full Night
Mutually Understand

I was awoken by the blinding sunlight, which shone through our inn room so bright it was almost blinding, and so hot that I could barely breathe. I blinked my eyes, and my mind floated at the moment a few hours ago. After a long time, for the first time I woke up feeling happy. I stretched out my hand, looking for my beloved.

There's no one.

The wall clock showed at half-ten in the morning, and although I was still half-sleepy, a million thoughts rumbled in my mind. Could something bad happen to her? As experienced...?

"No. No. gabe. No," I muttered in fear. "No, Purna. Don't think shit. She's gonna be okay."

I got up, ignored the stiffness in my groin and walked around the room whispering his name. There's nothing. His jeans are not there, his sandals are not there, his coat is not there. I freaked. Kuraih dresses and coats me from the top of the sofa and wears it. And get out of the room.

"Buck...."

Ah, thank goodness. He's calling outside. Under the shade tree in front of there. As soon as he saw me, he immediately hung up his phone and rushed up to me.

"What's wrong? You why?" tanyakanya.

I'm shaking. I rubbed my pias face with fear. "No. It's okay," I said.

"Don't cover anything else from me, Purna," he said. He took me in and closed the door behind us, and then took me to bed. Sitting there, Ram grabbed my hand, pointing to the side of my virgin bloodstains that were dyeing the white sheets behind us. He smiled bitterly. "We're this close" he said. "Very intimate. You and I, our bodies have been fused together without distance. You remember how we were last night, right? We've been fused. We have each other. Why is there still something covered? Even after we've been open to each other? When we get this close? Why?" he asked, unlike his usual. This time Ram really looked calm and very gentle. "Please, don't hide anything from me anymore. You are mine, I deserve to know anything about you, including about your past. Right, right?"

I gulped with difficulty, pulled my hand from the sheets and rubbed my palm which now felt damp. "I. i...."

"tell me? You why? You were looking anxious, and when you saw me outside, you suddenly looked relieved. What reason? You worry about me overreacting, why? Does this have anything to do with... death...?" Next to his eyebrows raised. "Now please answer, is this in my mind true?"

I'm nodding.

"Well, just get to the main point. Tell me how the real chronology you experienced in the past? You've been married three times, but you're still a virgin, how can that be?"

Glegs!

"Tell me how they died, and when?"

Tears are stinging on my cheeks. Pouring. Not that I'm sad for remembering the men who died after marrying me - sorry, not because I was heartless, but because I didn't love them with all my heart, so, so, my sadness is not from loss, and not sadness in the sense of something that will be curated or grilled. So, the tears now dripping from my eyes are tears of fear: fear of the tragic events of the past, fear of them repeating themselves, and, and, I was afraid that when I revealed the dark story to Ram, the man would turn and leave me. That's the reason I'm crying right now. I don't want to lose Ram for any reason.

"Purn?"

My eyes closed. "They died on the first day of our marriage. Like.. as I told you before, my first husband was attacked by a herd of begal. It happened while our bride's car was driving to the hotel where we were going to stay, yes that's it. After the police investigation was completed, the perpetrators were successfully rounded up, and the police concluded that it was just a pure accident incident. In a sense, the herds of begal accidentally attacked my husband until he stabbed him and made him die. Not a premeditated murder. Their plan was just to get in the way and rob a passing car, and fateful it was our bridal car."

Ram nodded, understanding. "And the second one? Your second husband?"

"My second husband, he's got food poisoning at our reception. There are many victims as well. But only he died. Respiratory failure due to poisoning, doctors estimate because he has certain allergies. But I don't know, I don't understand. He died on the way to the hospital. In the ambulance. I wonder in fact, of the many poisoned guests, either who had been rushed to the hospital or who only get treatment on the spot, why was he the only one who died? In this case the caterer cannot be blamed, because not everyone who eats the same food has poisoning. Which means, the poison was just mixed into the food or drink just before our family members ate. I don't know. I was devastated by the incident, traumatized, but not so profound. Not like after my third marriage."

Ram seemed a little riled up to hear my story. I realized that even though it was vague. But he tried hard to stay calm. He hugged my shoulder and he leaned me against his chest. He rubbed my back gently, and I felt his lips warm against my forehead. "Continue," she asked, holding my hand tightly. "I'm listening to you."

I'm nodding. "I was severely depressed after my third marriage, and needed a doctor's treatment for months because of trauma. Not because of the loss, but because the incident happened right in front of my eyes and head, and it happened on the same day as my two previous marriages."

Oh my God, those tragedies crossed my mind. In my memory. Scared me.

"Purn?"

I'm shaking. "My husband died right in front of me, just as I was holding him in our wedding pose. And he. he smiled into the camera, then. suddenly the bullet went through...." I sobbed, jerking at my own chest. "Papa... Papa says... Papa said that since the man was a country man, it was no wonder that he had enemies. But. but I think it's because of me. I'm the one who brought the shit. Because she married me, she was killed. I. I'm the cause. For marrying me. Because I. Because of. I...."

I'm starting to get out of control. The shaking is getting more.

"Purna, honey, what's wrong?" ram asked, very worried when he first saw my condition like that. "Silent. Relax, okay? Calm. Calm down."

I'm shaking. "Don't remind me anymore. I'm afraid.I'm afraid...."

My breath feels tight, I have trouble breathing. And Ram panicked to see my reaction.

"Don't remind me." I muttered repeatedly. "Don't remind me...."

For the next few minutes, Ram just held me tight. Those two sturdy arms were tightly coiled around my body while I continued to mutter uneasily. "Not anymore" he whispered. Ram gripped the strands of hair behind my head tightly, forcing me to look up at his face. "I'm not gonna ask you again, okay? Now relax. There's me. I'm with you, Purna. I'm with you."

And he kissed me. Lubricating my lips until I feel engulfed, I was out of breath in his kiss. Ram forced his tongue in, scoured my esophagus and forced me to lie down.

That's when I tried to control myself. Pushing her back gently to let go of her kiss. I need to breathe.

"You're not leaving me?" I asked, I stared fixedly at the two men's eyes expectantly. "You won't be afraid of me?"

Ram smiled faintly. "I told you, I'm not afraid to die." She put her lips back on me for one soft kiss. "Don't be afraid. It's possible that all that happened just happened on your wedding day. Ah, nevermind. Don't discuss. Don't think. I don't want you to be hysterical. Okay well? Remember, we have to go home to the farm today. So don't talk about this anymore and don't think about it? Hmm?"

I'm nodding.

"Now go take a shower and get ready. We'll be home after breakfast at lunch."

Go home. I don't like it but it's a must.

Time showed it was almost ten when I stepped foot into the bathroom. Spend a few minutes taking a shower and getting dressed. While Ram took a shower, I immediately packed our clothes.

At eleven o'clock in the afternoon, we checked out of the inn, had lunch at the restaurant, then went to the beach briefly to hunt for photos together and change the wallpaper on my phone.

I feel very happy for this trip. I happy. All the way back to the farm, we talked. I had prepared myself to hear some sort of criticism about my mental state from Ram, as well as about my past, but Ram never said anything or showed any objection to it, and I love Ram even more because of that.

"You don't want to say anything about my origins or about my family?" ask Ram. "I have prepared myself to hear your criticism."

My eyes squinted and my forehead shriveled.

Ram took a deep breath. "I mean, by looking at where you live and how you grew up, I thought you would look up to my family and our way of life. Perhaps...?"

"Have you ever seen me like that?"

Ram shook his head. "No."

"Of course."

"Well, can I be honest?"

"To be honest."

"OKAY. I'll be honest. I'm sorry, but you know, I won't look down on you or feel disgusted at life... I'm sorry, don't take it personally if I say the word.... Lower class, hmm? I am not disgusted and I do not look down on him. But. to be honest. emm. Who still have trouble clean water, or. who still have difficulty transportation, and. whose access to the road is bad. Pardon you? But I have to be honest, right? I object to having to stay in your village. Emm... Look, even if we have to settle in Pangandaran and not in Lembang, I mean on the farm, or in the city of Bandung, we can live in the city area, right? Pangandaran city, or at least in the coastal areas, in tourist villages that will certainly be managed and developed by the government. Not in...?"

Ram cleared his throat slowly. "I understand," he said. "Just calm. I won't put you in trouble, and I won't live in a place that'll make it hard for you to adapt."

"You're not offended, are you?"

He smiled sincerely. "Not at all."

"Huh! Relieved. Thank you, my dear. You're the best." I leaned against my body and I kissed her cheek.

The afternoon passed well. It was late at night when we arrived at the farm and Ram parked his truck in front of the cottage and pulled me into his arms.

"Something I want to tell you."

"What's that?"

"Well, can you calm down?"

"Emm? Why...?"

"Tomorrow I have a job and have to go for last night. Can, right? And don't be surprised, don't be in shock. Relax, okay?"

He had already controlled my emotions in the beginning. Well, well, well, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Relax, Purna. Relaxed. "Where are you going?"

"Not far. Just to Mount Batu, close to here. It's just that we're staying over. I will bring a group of young men for rock climbing, and upon arrival at the top we will camp. Just last night. You can't come and don't ask to come because it's rock climbing. For the men to shout victory and not to hear the girls screaming in fear. Okay well? We'll be back by Saturday afternoon. I can accompany you to the Sunday night dance. Okay, Honey? Be understandable? Can you let me go, please...?"

Hmm. although it is heavy, but I will not be a Purna in the past. I'll learn to accept Ram's busyness. "alright. I won't ban you."

"Ikhla?"

"Yes." Yeah."

"good. My full-time is now fully grown." Ram smiled, then cupped my face with both hands and kissed my forehead. "Thank you."

I nodded, smiling sincerely.

"Well, come in, take a shower, and take a break. I'll have someone deliver dinner for you."

I'm staring. "You don't want to go in first?"

"We'll be gone at six tomorrow morning." Ram smelled the top of my nose. "There's a lot I have to do before that."

Oh. have patience, Purna. "All right."

Ram rubbed his fingers on my cheek, then tapped them on my lips. "Try to miss me a little bit, okay?"

Well, I'm smiling mischievously. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

Ughhhh!

Ram grabbed me and kissed my lips, his hands rubbed my back, and stroked my hair.

"All right, all right," I said, smiling seductively. "I'm gonna miss you. Little."

Ram growled, then kissed me again until I felt my stomach melt. Until I'm out of breath. He's so wild.

"Alright," I said as he gasped. "Very."

"I'll be right back and see you."

"I'll be waiting for you. Careful."

"Surely."

"Em."

"Well...."

"Mass?"

"What?"

"One more kiss?"

Ah, he obeyed. "Don't go anywhere. Wait for me to come back?"

"I promise. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Promise...."

One more kiss for me, a stamp and a promise, then I came down the truck reluctantly, and stood there looking at Ram who was away, with a burning feeling.

I'll wait for you this time. And won't go again.