Forbidden Love On A Full Night
Wise Attitude

I'm not giving up on being a loser, not giving up on Ram, or giving up on pursuing his love. But I give up because I am a woman, I know when I should stop: I should not beg for love in a man. You can try, you can ask, but you can't beg, let alone worship at his feet just to get his love. He refused me and asked me to leave. So it's all over. My love is unachievable.

I'm grateful, I can currently hitch a ride in Aunt El's cottage. Not wanting to make her feel sad for worrying about my situation, I tried to look okay. I rushed to take a shower, change my clothes, and eat, plus downing the vitamins and sleeping pills Aunt El had given me. He forced me to rest in bed to keep my body fit, my emotions stabilized, and my mind came back to peace after waking up.

"Tonight there will be a dance, and Auntie doesn't want you to miss it. Enjoy your day here before you decide to leave, okay?"

There was no point in resisting, I didn't want to let Aunt El down and leave a bad impression of myself in her eyes. So I'm according. Even as he sat leaning against the head of the bed and told me to lay his head on his lap, I complied.

"Can?" my many.

He nodded with a smile, reminding me of my mother. With that feeling I put my head in her lap. Aunt El rubbed my head fondly.

"May Aunt talk while waiting for you to fall asleep?"

"You're so excited" he said, replying seductively. "Auntie doesn't want to talk about your relationship with Ram, you know!"

Ah, she made my cheeks blush red. "Don't tease me, Auntie. Auntie want to talk about what it is? Justsaytheword. I'll listen to you."

"It's nothing, son. Aunty just wanted to say that Auntie was happy to get to know you. Like driving away loneliness. Aunty doesn't have a daughter, doesn't even have any real children. Aunt only has Ram. Ram's mother was the younger brother of Bibi's late husband. Since Ramana Lingga was born, Bibi took care of him, because his mother was too young at that time. It's only been fifteen years, even he hasn't been able to take care of himself. Because of that, my Ram grew up without the love of his parents. His mother and father were not married. The man left the fifteen-year-old girl alone while she was pregnant. And no one knows who that man is but Ram's mum who is just mumbling. And therefore also, my Ram does not believe in the love of his life other than my love and the love of his uncle. But, yes, she fell in love once, only once. Eight years ago. But that love was also taken from him. That's why he is. I mean, maybe that's why he's afraid to confess his love to you. He was afraid to admit that he loved you too. He did not want to be heartbroken again like in the past. So then... Auntie hope you can understand. Please understand his attitude, okay? He didn't mean to hurt your heart. Aunt apologized for her attitude. Hm? You can forgive him, right? Don't leave this place with hatred towards that young man. Go with a peaceful feeling. Until one day you can come back here, whenever you want. Can it? You want to forgive her for your aunt? Would help?"

I just nodded. I dare not admit to Aunt El that I am the girl. I was too cowardly, afraid that Aunt El would not like me anymore. At least not tonight. I thought maybe I'd tell Aunt El who I really am, later, before I leave this place.

"Don't cry." He wiped my tears. "Close your eyes and sleep." He rubbed my head with his darling.

And I will fulfill his request. I will leave this place peacefully. It may not be entirely true, but I will not carry my hatred with me again like I used to. I wouldn't hate Ram for any reason. I will love him even if I don't have.