Forbidden Love On A Full Night
The One that Tightens the Chest

I stood in front of the wardrobe, with my body wrapped in a towel, frowning as I tried to decide whether to wear a canal dress and go to the inn or put on a nightgown and hide in my room.

What am I supposed to do?

Ram didn't want to see me, but I really wanted to see him.

Mr. Reporter wants to see me, but I don't want to see him.

But I promised Mr. Hartawan a debt-redemption for my mistakes to leave him at the altar, and to close my night here.

I want to see Ram on my last night. Whether after this fate will bring us back together or not, I want to see it tonight.

Deciding that I was going to the dance tonight, I let my towel fall to the floor. Then while shaking my head in a defiant manner, I grabbed the blue channel dress. Ram will see me, whether he wants it or not, like it or not.

The inn was already crowded when I got there, mostly crowded with adult couples, even though there were some teenagers. I suspect most of the kids are in the lounge. I saw Nina Wijaya sitting at a small table. I grinned, convinced that Nina was there hoping to meet Ram. Like myself.

A three-person band playing old '90s songs. Madam Laura and Mr. Heru Wijaya danced past me. He smiled and waved when he saw me and I waved back, then smiled. After that, I headed towards Nina's desk.

"Hey, mind if I sit here?"

"Of course not" he said. "How are you, Miss Mahardika?"

"Okay, and just call me Purna. Your parents look amazing there."

Nina rolled her eyeballs. "I think so." He looked around the room. "Do you think my prince Ram will be here?"

I put my shoulders down. "Of course."

"Even if she came, I don't think she would dance with me" said Nina gloomily. "She probably thinks I'm still a kid."

Before I could think of my answer, Mr. Hartawan walked towards our table.

"Good night, Purna. Wanna dance?"

Nina looked at me, then winked. It was easy enough to read the girl's mind. He thinks that Mr. Hartawan is very handsome, which I must admit is true. His face and stature did not indicate his actual age which was already a four heads. Mr. Hartawan wears cream-colored trousers and a brown sweater that is very compatible with his brown eyes.

The man extended his hand. "Come on."

"I guess, yeah," I said. Ignoring the man's helping hand, I followed him to the dance floor.

Mr. Hartawan pulled me into his arms. We've danced a few times before, danced beautifully and he turned me lightly around the dance floor. I realized that we were a couple who stole the show - Mr. Hartawan with his sturdy body and handsome face, while I was with black hair and olive skin color. But even as we danced, my gaze wandered through the room, looking for the figure of a tall man with hair as black as my hair. Is Ram gonna be here tonight? Or will the man stay away, avoid me?

"Remember the night in Australia when we danced on a cruise ship?" ask Mr. Reporter.

I'm nodding. "Yes." Yeah."

It happened not long after we got engaged. At that time my eyes were still staring with a sparkle, still trapped in a new feeling and vortex of excitement with the presence of Mr. Hartawan.

"Can you go back to such a time again, Purna?"

We had a wonderful time, inwardly, at least a little, at least at first, as I tried to recover from the trauma of a few months after the death of my third husband. He was shot in the head as we were taking family pictures on the lawn. After that traumatic incident, the super-trafficing Mr. Reporter took his time for me, when I thought I was more important to him than making money, before I realized that it was the man who made the decision for me, he said, it slowly transformed me from the figure of the woman he knew to the figure of the woman who was in accordance with his wishes.

The dance ended and we left the dance floor. "I'll take a drink" said Mr. Hartawan. "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes, thanks."

I walked back to the table of the Wijaya family to wait for Mr. Hartawan. Lady Laura was sitting there with Nina.

I sat opposite Nina. "Actually she's an ex-boyfriend" I said. "We were engaged once."

Both of Madam Laura's eyebrows shot up. "Oh?"

"Yes. We broke up not so long ago."

"And he came here after you," said Nina, daydreaming. "Oh, how romantic!"

"I think so," I said. "If I still care. But...."

Those words disappeared down my throat as I looked at Ram on the dance floor. The man was hugging a beautiful blonde girl, a young woman wearing tight black jeans, and a red top with an open chest and shoulders - - sleeveless without a leash, and a smile that said, Take me, I am yours.

I recognized the girl as one of the servants in the dining room. I stared at the two men, a wave of jealousy that I never knew controlled me. I clenched my hand firmly as Mr. Hartawan appeared before me.

"They only provide soft drinks and juice" said Mr. Hartawan, placing a very cold tall glass in front of me.

I'm nodding.

Mr. Reporter looked at Madam Laura and Nina, and when I did not introduce him, the man smiled at them as he reached out. "Hello, I'm Sentosa's journalist, Purna's fiancee."

Suddenly I glared. "Ex-fiancee" I murmured, but no one heard.

"Laura Wijaya" said Madam Laura while shaking the hand of Mr. Hartawan. "And this is my daughter, Nina. Oh, and this is my husband, Heru Wijaya," he added as Mr. Heru approached the table.

Mr. Hartawan sat down and immediately engrossed in discussing the stock market with Mr. Heru

Madam Laura patted my arm. "Are you okay, honey?"

"What's? Oh, yeah, well. I just. I just...." I gulped with great difficulty, determined not to cry.

Madam Laura looked at me curiously though not urgently. A few minutes later, the lights became dim and soft ballad tones filled the room.

Mr. Hartawan stood up and extended his hand towards me. "You dance?"

I was just about to refuse when I saw Ram lead the red-haired girl to the dance floor. "Yes," I said, and while forcing a smile, I stood up and moved into the arms of Mr. Hartawan.

I know as soon as Ram watches me. Time stopped when we looked at it. I was surprised because the electric current that formed between us did not cause a spark across the room.

Ram laughed at something his partner said and the sight was so painful to me that it made me feel like I was about to faint there, on the dance floor. But instead I lay my head on the chest of Mr. Hartawan's field and closed my eyes. I don't want to see the scene that makes me want to cry.

When I opened my eyes and looked around me, Ram and the blond girl were gone.

I'm not sure how I spent the rest of the night. I remember myself having small talk with Mrs Laura and Nina while Mr. Hartawan and Mr. Heru talked about the stock exchange, interest rates, and which companies would produce the best trucks, he said, ford or any of those vehicles.

When the dance ended, we said goodbye to the Wijaya family and Mr. Hartawan drove me back to the cottage.

"So," said Herr Reporter, "we were leaning against my chest for my own good or hers?"

A heat wave of shame ran down my cheeks, making me grateful we were in the dark.

"You don't need to answer it," said the man, there was a furious tone in his voice. "I don't think I like the answer." The man clasped my hand and kissed her, his lips cold. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

I'm nodding. My one-night debt is over, just one day.