Sunshine (2021)
32

“ih kenza's. My heart is only one loh, if it is removed how?”.

“take my heart, I would love to give you”. With his jokes.

“adaaa aja answer nya”.

“already irritated, I'm sorry yaa”. Showing her sweet smile

“ayra thanks yaa”. I don't know thank you for what he said.

“sipp”. Ayra smiled displaying her teeth.

“na let's sit there”. Kenza pointed towards the chair under the tree located right in front of the canteen.

“ayo ay”. Take me.

“ga need, you first I want to eat first”.

“sure?”. Ayra nodded

“but I'm not good sitting together aja”.

“already gapapa, it's just temen”. Kenza answered.

“ayo na” take her. I nodded forcedly.

Here we sit. It's not going to make people think weird about us because it's an open place, anyone passing by will be able to see us.

“na, the answer is still the same?”. I understand the question even though it is not started with the intent of his words.

“ken, I don't like men who are too welcome to the opposite sex. You know what I mean?”. That's my answer. I don't like men who don't know the limits of being friends and I don't want to date a man I obviously know is my former friend.

“you sure?. Can I check the phone?”. I give my hand.

“hmm how yaa.. I often chat with them but I just want to date with you doang”. This is the real answer if he had lied earlier, I would have been more unwilling to accept it.

“if you are serious you should just pursue one ken”.

“already if you want to date with me, I will block all women it”. Said he was sure. But I know human nature does not change easily.

“ga first ken, I want to see you in some time. If indeed I think you can already , I will try to accept you”.

“okedeh. Then I go to the cafeteria first”.

“iya I want to go straight back to class, please tell ayra I'm back first”. He just nodded then passed away.

Sometimes funny, some are chasing but those who are pursued also pursue others. There are those who love but dare not reveal. Some wait without certainty. Some have been hurt but always give another chance and some sacrifice feelings to save the friendship.

That's how love plays us. I didn't know I had to laugh or cry. But for sure I won't do the last two sentences, give a chance and sacrifice feelings.

In my opinion, second chances do not apply in love relationships. When someone decides to be in a relationship, he must already know that the relationship must be maintained without bargaining. If one day he breaks it, it means he is ready to lose the relationship. So do not be easy to throw away then taken again when he needs.

If you want a chance, why is it so easy to make a decision? Doesn't a decision have to be made after careful thought?. I'm really the kind of person who doesn't like to be complicated. If you want to eat just say you want to eat do not have to make a behavior so that people understand what you want right. For me, I am the only one who understands me the most. The more well-treated people are, the more they will surge.

Starting with a new one is better than repeating with a past one. The past remains the past, there is no need to lie to yourself by saying you cannot live without it. Remember, you cannot live without water, not without it.

Then sacrifice feelings to save the friendship. I am not that easy to give up, if someone I love is also loved by others, I will accept it because honestly the feeling is very difficult to control. Feelings will not ask permission to whom it will fall. Most importantly I know my heart for her and her heart for me too, if her heart is not for me then I will wait without interrupting her life.

That is, there is no need to bother. Heartache is a risk. If you don't want to be hurt then never like someone else, just love yourself and I know that's impossible. I mean, I can't possibly dislike anyone for life.