Illusions
CHAPTER 2 (Part 1)

"Why does this keep happening, you ask? Yeah, it's because there's a familiarity in this pain, something that drives me to it. If you pull me into your arms, will I know what security looks like?"

***

Yeri wakes up in a panic due to the sound of her cell phone peeping beside her and she has a very strong desire to let the phone ring by itself. Unfortunately, he was a difficult person to sleep in, and the ringing of the phone managed to destroy his sleep. Irritated, like an elephant looking at a rat (or frightened), he lifted one arm and dragged it towards his cell phone then placed it into his ear.

"Hello?" He answers. His voice was hoarse and full. On the other hand there was a person who took a small pause, almost like the person was surprised by his sleepy voice upon waking up. Next the cleansing sound in his throat echoed, and it was so familiar in his ears that he blinked his eyes and removed the obscurity.

"Hey," came the cheerful voice of Jungkook; or a false cheerful greeting. Jungkook was unable to push himself to sound more than annoyed when he spoke to Yeri. "It's eleven in the morning. I have to go somewhere, want to bring my car back? "

"Oh." Yeri took a few seconds to realize exactly who was talking to her early in the morning before jumping into an upright sitting position and eyes widened. How did Jungkook get his phone number? He didn't change it, okay. "good. Automakers. There's your car in my garage. "

"Ah-yep. My car's in your garage. " Jungkook almost sounded seductive as he replied to Yeri's statement, his tone peppered with the awkward feeling he got from three months ago when he saw Yeri again.

"Damn it," Yeri cursed out suddenly, remembering something, her hand squeezing her phone. "Jungkook, my parents are home."

Jungkook froze as he did now, and it was amazing how he could feel it freezing from the other side of the line.

"I should have gotten up earlier," Yeri blabbed, forgetting for a moment that she was talking to Jeon Jungkook. Moreover, he squeezed the phone; his knuckles were dusty reddish white. "I'll — I'll bring it soon. Just a minute."

"Yeri—"

Yeri hung up

He pushed himself from the messy tangle of blankets on his bed and rushed down quickly, his footsteps sounding small and inconspicuous despite running through the stairs. All those years he tiptoed around his parents in their home it taught him not to be seen, as a ghost, because if he was not seen, he was too deep, he was, and if there was something he learned in his life over the years with his parents was that he was getting more and more similar to a shadow, the less he would experience pain.

He did not wash or even brush his teeth, rushing to walk towards the front door without looking back. As his hand touched the doorknob; he heard his name called.

"Yes."

He turned his head slowly, facing his mother, who looked neat and perfect; not a single hair came out from his bun. The woman grinned, showing her plastic cheeks and plastic teeth. Yeri swallowed his saliva.

He had to step up his game by running away. There were a limited number of "game-overs" he could go through before the console he was wearing broke down.

***

"You look like shit."

This was the first thing Jungkook said when he opened the door of his dorm and saw Yeri standing there, Jungkook was already wearing clothes with dark jeans, a black shirt, and her beautiful little chains adorned her neck. Instead of admiring Jungkook's appearance, Yeri instead looked at him in annoyance. If there was one thing he hated the most, it was being woken up in the morning, whether it was morning or it was already noon.

"Well, I feel like shit," Yeri grimaced, hugging herself and hoping she could get smaller so the ground could swallow her. He had never been to Jungkook's dormitory alone before. This idea made her feel very small and petite. "I was forced to get up early because someone had an afternoon class!"

"First of all, Eleven mornings instead of afternoons," Jungkook continued to raise his eyebrows at Yeri, blocking the entrance to the dormitory. "Secondly, you shouldn't sleep until eleven. You don't have class? "

"It's Sunday. I have a day off on Sunday. " Yeri looked at him as if she already knew this.

"Don't look at me like that, I don't know your weird schedule." Jungkook reasoned, annoyed, but he also sounded a bit embarrassed for not following Yeri's schedule, his cheeks burning a funny reddish pink.

"Come by," Yeri threw the car keys at him and he caught him like an awkward little koala. Yeri tried not to smile at Jungkook's wide eyes. "Now that I've brought your car safely and healthily, can I go home?"

"How do you get home?" Jungkook rushed to say that before Yeri could turn around and leave. Yeri pursed her lips, muttering. "It's not too far from here."

"There's a beautiful creation called the public bus, you know? A rich man like you might not know it, but a poor man like me is quite familiar with him. "

Jungkook scowled at her, hoping that a hint of tension that was slowly growing inside him where his mind was heading, could not be felt in the air. If there's anything Jungkook hates the most is Yeri seeing his vulnerability.

"You really suck when your sleep is disturbed." He says this as if he does not know what kind of personality Yeri has or the disorder that appears in Yeri whenever someone forces him to wake up from his sleep. Yeri simply rolled her eyes, the dark black stain beneath her looked even more prominent with that movement.

"Can I go now?"

"Wait," Jungkook shouted like a puppy, hurriedly grabbing the tip of Yeri's shirt as he was about to turn away. The two of them froze, and as Yeri slowly turned to face Jungkook again, Jungkook noticed the reddish color that appeared on Yeri's cheeks. Slowly this shortened the hue on his own cheek, and he started to stutter like an idiot. "Are you, um, have you, breakfast, uh ... breakfast?"

Yeri raised her eyebrows more to the fact that she was trying to hide the gentleness radiating on her cheeks rather than her echoing shock. But that didn't mean he wasn't surprised; he was completely shocked. When was the last time Jungkook offered her something, let alone breakfast? Never does.

"Are you offering me?" He tried to sound naughty and cheerful, seductive as well, like the perfect exemplary girls in school who lured people to them like treasure; but he instead sounded dull and annoyed, instead, even tasteless.

Jungkook's eyes widened tremendously, realizing how heavy his request was making him sober. "You know I don't cook, but, uh, there's some cornflakes?"

"I hate cornflakes. It tastes like mud. " Again, the tone of the woman's voice was nothing more than a statement known to the man across.

"I don't mean a normal cornflake,"Jungkook scratched his cheek. "I've got chocolate flakes and honey flavors. I know you like that the most. "

An awkward silence occurred because oh my god he remembered. He remembered. Yeri tried not to show him that she felt like she was struck by lightning on the fact she had just discovered, but his widened eyes and the gulps that he could not swallow secretly made the fact pass away. Fortunately, Jungkook did not comment on that, but Jungkook's cheek also showed that. Yeri then turned around and walked away.

"I'm going to go."

"Wait a minute." Jungkook grabbed her wrist this time, pulling her back to the terrace. His wrists were burning in flames, flames so hot twirled on his skin, all the way to his heart. He turned to Jungkook blankly, his ears, cheeks, and the back of his neck were red.

"What?" He cleared his throat, pulling his wrist from his grip rather quickly. Baekhyun stretched out his fingers as if recalling his taste in his skin, before clenching it. "Is there anything else I can offer you this beautiful morning?"

He cleared his throat as he did, his eyes becoming very serious. "... Why are you doing it?"

"What?" Yeri looks confused.

"Take me home" Jungkook stressed. "Why did you do it? You don't like bringing drunk people home because of what reminds you and because you hate being responsible for other people. So, why did you do it? "

He wants to tell Jungkook that he is not an irresponsible person, that despite the fear that he grumbled at seeing people drunk and having to take them home will always remain meaningless when it happens to Jungkook. Yeri wants to tell him that there is fire on his skin every time Jungkook touches it and he yearns for it to go all over him and bring him into the white ash. He wanted to tell Jungkook a lot about the big emotions he had but he suppressed those feelings. However, he said.

"We have the same friends, which means we have to be friends too. I would do that to anyone of the other boys. "

"I knew you long before he knew you." Jungkook looked annoyed when saying this, his eyes bulging and angry; which made Yeri feel annoyed as well.

"It doesn't matter when you know me, Jungkook. I'm going home."

Yeri grabs and closes the door of her one-bedroom dormitory with a debuman right where Jungkook is standing, not wanting Jungkook to watch him leave, and when he actually leaves; the voice kept echoing in his ears all day.

................................................................................................................................................................

About two days after that meeting with Jeon Jungkook; Yeri received a call. It was from Suho, and at first, he did not want to answer it. Suho was unable to stay alone without his friends for two days; it made him feel lonely. Her own words, and therefore she thought she wanted to invite her to another meeting or party of hers. Yeri did not want to see him, so she did not answer the first, second, and third phone calls. Until the fourth ringing came through his phone and forced him to pick it up. What Suho told her in a hurried tone, fear made her blood boil.

"What!" Yeri exclaimed, clutching the phone loudly in her hands and feeling a little happy to know her parents were away in their work, which made her willing to make as much noise as possible. No one punishes him for that.

"Yes, uh, we're all in Jungkook's dorm right now." Suho sounded a little nervous as he said that, and rightfully so. Everyone knew that Yeri's anger was terrible, especially when it came from their foolish actions, such as starting a fight with a group that was three times their number.

Suho won. Yeri doesn't have to be in front of her to see her and know what kind of face she makes. "Right, yeah, so, you're coming?"

"I'm coming!" Yeri said loudly. "Please don't do anything stupid again when I get on the bus."

"Good."

"You're a jerk, do you know that?"

He heard Suho respond with a long whimper, like being dragged. This made him even more furious, and when he stood up from in front of his laptop (he was studying), his footsteps resembled the steps of a horde of angry elephants.

"Stop whining, you're ugly" he said, pondering whether he should take the keys to his family car instead of taking the bus, before throwing the thought out of his head. That's not worth it. "I can't believe you let yourself fight. I understand the others, but you? I'm disappointed."

"They kicked my friends' asses!" Suho exclaimed in defense. "What should I do? Stand up and watch? Nah! I must participate or I will be more than ********! "

Yeri sighed because she knew Suho was right.

"Only, please don't get into trouble again. I'll go there with the disinfectant. You have gauze in Jungkook's dorm, right? "

"Yes, nurse Yeri, hurry up!"

Suho hung up the phone before he could say anything about the silly nickname and he let loose a long groan that came out of his throat. He rushed down and took medical equipment from their kitchen table before running out of the house as if his pants were on fire.

The journey by bus was long and painful. His house was at least fifty minutes away from Jungkook's dorm, and he knew this wasn't because he was visiting Jungkook's dormitory, but because he likes to escape his troubles at home and visit the supermarket near the dorm area, that would explain why they always cross paths there. He continued squeezing his fingers over the medicine box on his lap, shaking his legs and ignoring the dirty gazes that the passenger beside him showed him. His friends get into a stupid fight and now he draws on his nurse's superpowers to restore their health. The person beside him certainly did not feel his anxiety.

As soon as the bus stopped in Jungkook area, he set foot there like a train that stopped quickly. When he arrived, he did not come as fast as he wanted; sehun opened the door for him with an embarrassed smile. The smile was almost like apologizing, knowing about the anxiety the girl was experiencing. There were some bruises on his face, one on his left side with a purplish color, while the other on his chin on the left side, was a soft green.

"Heard you wanted to kick our ass?" Sehun joked, and he forgot the thought he had of Sehun on their camping trip; how his true personality was. He found his anger disappearing, and he smiled a little.

"I'm still doing."

"Okay, I think I'll stay away from you then."

He went straight inside and Sehun gave the space out of his long body to pass through, and he became even more furious when he saw them laughing and instead playing around on the sofa. Kyungsoo even embraced Chanyeol's head on his arm, his huge sweat appearing on his left temple, while Chanyeol's face looked slightly blue. Suho and Jungkook were talking with wide and proud smiles on their faces on the next sofa, while Kai could not be found. Probably fell asleep in one of Suho's rooms. One of the exercises to get him out of his games.

"Guys, seriously!" Yeri exclaimed, her forgotten fury leaping back into her heart upon seeing them so relaxed. Everyone stopped joking and turned to him, their smiles fading. However, Suho's smile grew bigger, and he dared to look at her.

He went further inside and held Suho's face between his hands, squeezing his cheeks. Suho took out his duck face and Yeri knew he pressed one of his wounds on his left cheek, but he did not stop. Aside from that one on the left side, Suho also had a small lump on his right cheekbone. Yeri squeezed it too.

"Ouch! What the fuck! " Suho shouted, pulling his face furiously out of his grip, glaring like an angry child. Yeri scoffed.

"It's to be an idiot," he turned to the others, stared intently, and they all gulped, even Jungkook, "Does anyone want a similar treatment?" They all shook their heads simultaneously, looking away. "I'll take the gauze."

His eyes then pulled the silhouette of Jungkook bowing next to Suho before he could actually get out of the living room and get the gauze that he knew Jungkook had because he always got into trouble, but he instead finds himself unable to take his eyes off Jungkook. Jungkook sat lazily, undisturbed; his legs stretched out in front of him, wearing black jeans. Her upper body was hidden inside a large hoodie and matched the color of her jeans, and she remembered seeing the hoodie on Chanyeol's body once or twice.

Jungkook watched Yeri stare at him, stopped like an idiot in the middle of the living room, and turned around to accidentally lock each other's gazes. Yeri held her breath. Jungkook looks worse than the others. She may look the worst of them all; with a dozen small bruises on her cheekbones, chin, and temples. Aside from her slightly swollen left eye, it began to have a bright pink color. Yeri stared at him with a forced gulp down his throat, and he looked down at Jungkook's hidden body, wondering how many bruises and cuts he had hidden in his body. He was always interested in fighting, even when they were still in high school together. He fought with people taller than him since childhood, he said, and he was used to beating people half his size. It's funny how he's interested in Jungkook whom he's always been afraid of. Yeri has her own battles, but unlike Jungkook, she doesn't run straight into the fire pit, and that's what draws her to Jungkook.

He often looked at Jungkook. Yeri did not look away, nor did she look away. Yeri wanted to touch her, caressing her delicate face, her cheeks, and her chin. He wanted to do more than that, but he was a coward. He always has been. The fire in his eyes as Jungkook gazed back at him was indescribable, almost muted, and the outside world disappeared between them. There's only Jungkook, and there's only him. This was the first look he was willing to give Jungkook...

"Yerui?" Suho interrupted, called out to him and noticed his frozen self. Yeri turned her head towards Suho, blinking.

"Yes?"

"You're going to take the gauze again?" Suho. Yeri watched Suho guide his eyes from his face to Jungkook at a glance, after catching their eye gaze. She blushed.

"Yes, I'm going now."

Yeri walks away from the living room made for one person and goes to the kitchen, knowing that Jungkook likes to put his medical equipment there. However, he had never been to Jungkook's dorm before, so he had no idea where exactly it was. As he searched through the unfamiliar kitchen area, he heard Jungkook enter.

"Fourth cabin on the right."

He grabbed what Jungkook told him without even turning around to give him a glance. Opening the cabin, he found a roll of gauze there and he picked one up, having seen only bruises rather than cuts on the other boy's face. When the gauze was in his hand, he turned towards Jungkook and stopped, momentarily surprised by how handsome he looked even with his wounds, before clearing his throat.

"After all, why are you fighting right away? I think you're done with all this violence. " In fact, he wasn't quite sure whether Jungkook had stopped fighting or not. But he remembers his last period, his last year of high school, and how Jungkook suddenly took longer to be around him and stopped fighting recklessly. He makes a conclusion about Jungkook himself that he might stop caring about them, that Jungkook has grown up. However, this side of him, returns to life at university when he learns that Jungkook also knows Suho.

"You're a guy who likes to talk to himself, huh?" Jungkook grinned, leaning on the kitchen door frame. But his smile was neither amused nor seductive. Dark and bordering on worrying. "It's so familiar with violence and it's never escaped from it."

Yeri's body stiffened like an extremely cold block of ice; her eyes widened hearing the innuendo behind Jungkook's tone of voice. Unknowingly, Yeri hugged her stomach, grimacing a little there was a pain that woke up violently at the gentle touch she was doing to her own stomach. Jungkook instantly caught the pain and then rushed towards him, pulling his shirt up violently (making him flinch) and seeing the colorful-looking bruises that littered his skin. Jungkook was surprised at her, and gave her a wide-eyed look. When Jungkook spoke again, his voice sounded loud.

"What the fuck, Yeri, why does this shit keep happening?"

Yeri felt very vulnerable. Both because of the fact that Jungkook holds his shirt up and exposes his skin and navel, and because Jungkook reveals a secret part of him that they always fight. He pulled away from her and pulled his clothes down, covering himself.

"Let me go, Jungkook." He muttered.

"I'm not letting you go. Are you not sane?" The jolt of Jungkook, his voice was so loud and so angry that Yeri was completely jolted. His voice then softened instantly, taking a few steps back so that his closeness as if did not trap Yeri, knowing exactly the distance that appeared between them made him remember. When Jungkook spoke again, he spoke softly. "You left me for three months — huh, now it's the fourth month, and when I see you again, you're still hiding behind your bruises? What's wrong with you!"

"Leave me alone!" Yeri exclaimed back, what-what-wrong-with-you carved a very insecure wound in her soul. "It's none of your business before and it's none of your business now! I'm here to treat their wounds. "

"It's my dorm, it's my house, who knows you forgot." Jungkook moved a few steps closer once again. "I told people to go."

"Are you telling me to go?"

"Great, you can read between the lines" Jungkook replied sarcastically, waving his hand. His eyes are still burning. "It's not the first time you've gone anyway."

"You don't know anything about me .." he muttered, and something in Yeri's tone sounded desperate. Like he was trying to believe in his own words.

"You want to believe that, don't you?" Jungkook smiled, and his smile was so sad and heartbroken that it awakened something in Yeri's stomach. "For no one to know anything about you, that all the people in your life are just places you rest for a while, that you can't connect with them for too long, that you can't connect with them, embracing them for too long, making them friends for too long, as something more, as lovers. You want to believe that you are broken and irreparable, Yeri, but you yourself caused this madness to yourself. "

Yeri glared at him, her tears appearing like a mountain erupting around her eyelids. Fortunately, they did not fall, and the anger he felt by Jungkook's words was what prevented his tears from falling. Jungkook's defensive stance softened immediately as he caught the flashing liquid in Yeri's pupils, and he took a few more steps to trap Yeri - gently - around the table.

"I offer you an escape once again," he began, gently, "And I offer you—"

"Shut up."

Jungkook's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Be quiet, "Yeri repeated her words with gritted teeth, the gauze she had in her hand had shattered under her anger and something else she could not name. "I didn't come here to discuss this. It's over, remember. I'm here to treat Suho and the others' injuries, so can you let me? "

"You coward," muttered Jungkook, so soft that he barely heard it, and the next time when he saw the man's eyes, they looked vulnerable, sad, intense, and fragile. "....Do you know that?"

Does he know that? Of course, Yeri knows.