Illusions
CHAPTER 9 (Part 3)

As the saying goes, kill or be killed, but... I don't know why my views are always different from those of ordinary people, especially if it concerns my life. I would rather kill than kill me, even if there are only two options: to kill others or to kill myself, the reason is because I don't want to be killed by someone else, it's better if I kill myself or I kill them, the choice is on me.

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In the hospital, someone wearing a black robe complete with black socks and shoes standing right in front of Raya's face, she slightly bent down to equalize her face with Raya's. His eyes stared very sharply, his left hand tightly silenced the mouth of Raya. While the index finger of the right hand is placed on the lips covered with black mask.

"Ssthh....!" said someone staring intently, then his eyes glanced at the sofa like coding would hurt his mother if Raya shouted.

Raya slowly glanced at her mother who was sleeping on the sofa following the glance of someone's eyes. He rounded his eyes and looked anxiously, then shook his head as if pleading with someone in front of him. Tears of the Kingdom fell dripping begging for mercy on someone in front of him.

"If you don't want him dead," pointed at the Mother Kingdom with a knife, "do what I will say!" someone's orders, followed by a nod of agreement, Raya. Then a voice sounded in Raya's ears.

"Ray...?" call Mindy slow.

Inside Riska's house, Raya awakens from her daydream. He looked at Mindy with a sad look.

"Loe why Ray?" ask Mindy.

"Sorry cave" Inner Kingdom.

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Meanwhile, at Greysie's house. Rasya and Heafen are still involved in the tensions. Aric could only shut up. Greysie threatened to drive them out of his house if he didn't shut up, and I didn't know what to do with them.

"Waiting cave, lo!" clea Heafen's.

"Lo guess the cave's scared?" rasha replied arrogantly.

"Yeah.you go home first, I'll call you" I asked with a pleading gaze.

"Huh?! whys? why do you have to call her?" sela Heafen, she doesn't seem to like it.

"Why? what's the same business you have if Lista nelfon cave, who are you?" rasha continued, mocking.

"Anj**ng, request at hajar lo, t*ik!" cela Heafen, he wants to hit Rasya. While Rasya put up the body to prepare to withstand Heafen's blow and hit back.

"Fuckk, you two! get out of the cave house!" greysie brokered the two of them. Aric is holding Rasya.

"Bro, you calm down bro, do not need to be in ladenin" said Aric slightly whispered to Rasya.

"Ra, I broke up from now on your status is still as my girlfriend, ti-tik!" firmly Heafen hardened the volume of his voice, then he glanced at Rasya.

"Ah? Heafen.." I looked slowly, staring sadly.

"Son, Ra. at that time we had not broken up, because I did not agree with your decision" Heafen said staring angrily.

"But I am." I am trembling.

"No! if you want to break up with me, love me the obvious reason, why did you ask to break up with me, you can explain? didn't you? if I can't, I won't take a word break from you, ti-tik!" firmly Heafen, his index finger pointed downwards.

"Heafen..," looked please, "pliss.we're done.." I said slowly.

"Stop! I love you, Raa.. are you horrified? I love you so much, I'm still in love, Raa" Heafen interrupted, her voice softening.

"A, I'm not a bus." I said a little jolted.

"I'm gone" Heafen interrupted again, leaving without even hearing what I said. While my tears trickled looking at it, the sobs from my mouth sounded small. My lips were trembling as they held back the crying.

"I'm sorry, I also want to live a normal life with the Heafens, I love you too, but.." My mind, making the fragments of the memory of the quarrel between my parents crossed my mind. I remember where they kept fighting until things got even more chaotic that night. As my memory continued, I began to recall the events of two and a half years ago.

Flashback, two and a half years ago. Inside my house, I got used to the quiet and peaceful atmosphere.

That night, I was in my room watching television. My fingers were constantly changing the channel, until there was one event that caught my attention, made my fingers stop changing the channel, then I watched it.

On the tv screen, in a special event made to advertise a well-known company in Indonesia. The tv show introduced the latest fashion cars and motorcycles along with electronic items that are equipped with smart systems.

Smart features that exist in cars/motors and electronic goods look very sophisticated, so it can capture the attention of many people. Moreover, the designs are very different from the company in general, so it seems unique.

However, the car/motorcycle and electronics seemed very familiar, making me remember the idea of my father.

"Kok, all of that.. same blueprint cake dad?" inwardly, I dry my forehead while bringing my face closer to the tv.

"What.. did I see wrong? but how the same design features are all the same? muttered.

Everything looks exactly the same as my father's blueprint, making me remember what happened about 7 years ago.

The room was like my father's life. He really likes to design cars/motors, and his brilliant idea makes its own uniqueness for him. That's what makes many companies interested in working with my father. Moreover, the blueprints belonging to my father, became the talk of famous companies, because their customers began to switch to buying on my father.

Another unique thing that many people are interested in is that my father accepted to design according to customer demand. So many companies are offering cooperation or even want to buy my father's idea. But my father always refused their requests, because according to my father, ideas are not something that can be sold to others. Ideas are their own property, everyone has a right to their ideas.

However, every time many companies came to my father to buy his ideas. They continued to offer cooperation with the same lure, making my father's business grow faster, as well as earning more income. But my father was never tempted by it, making him always reject offers that only concerned about the income of their company.

At that time, I was hiding under my father's desk, but I accidentally made a sound, making my father realize my existence. My father checked under his desk, he saw me shut up, I was surprised by it.

"How...? what are you doing here, baby?" ask my dad, peek under the table.

"Emm, sorry father" I replied, trembling withstanding the tears of fear of being angered.

"Don't cry baby, I'm not angry" said my father, he then carried me on the back.

After that, my father showed me his work. I saw the blueprints on my dad's desk. There are also many smart products.

The way my father designed a car and a motorcycle is very sophisticated. My eyes sparkle with fascination at seeing everything. It feels like I'm surrounded by sophisticated robots. My father also showed me all the latest features for every car and motorcycle design in his blueprints. He seemed very happy with this job, because it was my father's dream since he was a child.

After I remembered that, my heart started pumping my blood quickly. My hands began to tremble, but I was still trying to calm my mind, maybe I was wrong. Then I tried to look again carefully, and then recall when my father showed me and explained his idea.

"Did I see wrong?" my inner.

The more I tried to remember my father's words, the more my heart beat, especially when I heard every new feature introduced, for some reason it all felt so familiar to my ears. I tried to convince myself that I saw and heard wrong. However, I remembered my father's words to my mother on that terrible night.

"What do you want me to do, huh?!" snapped my father looked at hate.

"I'm broken now! my business is bankrupt, my ideas are stolen from them, you see this," pointed to the bottle of drink, look at this!" my father yelled at my mother.

When I thought about it again, it made me start to cry considering the gripping night that took everything away from me.

"It turns out, all this is their fault" my inner self, then I cried with deep pain.

The voice of my mother's father was fighting, as well as the explanatory voice from the tv echoed in my head.

Then I started slamming things in my room. Shouting indistinctly, looking at my hand until I hit the wall of my house many times. Anger and hate haunt me.

Greysie was peeking at me from behind my door, unaware that I was overwhelmed with sadness, anger and hatred. After that, I said something I shouldn't have told him.

Right now, the fragments of memories I wanted to forget filled my head even more, making me cry softly with sobs that sounded sick.

Rasya and Aric looked anxious, while Greysie began to hug me tightly, crying to hear me. My chest feels tight, my heart hurts so much.

"K. me, hmf. iil me, rey.. Gre. il, me" I quietly sobbed, I whispered to Greysie.

"Hm? what are you doing, Ra? I'm not horrified" said Greysie softly.

"Pliss.k, me, rey" I softly cried with tears in my eyes.

"Ah? I don't hear Ra, what are you talking about?" ask Greysie quietly.

"i.., I can't, I can't do this, anymore, please. kill me" I said softly, pleading.

Hearing my words, making Greysie pause for a moment, his heart started pounding, while his hands were trembling.

"What are you talking about, Ra? me, I was wrong, right? asked Greysie holding both of my shoulders.

"Pliss..hmf, I can't anymore, just. kill me Grey, I don't pp, if.. that, har-us you" I replied slowly, my breath was jolted with sobs from me.

The slap of the future that was shown when I was still in the womb. Of all the obstacles, failures, pain, storms, world injustice, the demands of people, my weaknesses and incompetence. I wanted to ask myself at that moment. How could you choose to be born and live in this world. If I could go back, I would choose to go back so that I would never be born into this broken world.

If I in the past chose yes to live. I wish on my present self to realize the beauty of the choices of that time. However, the moment my feet stepped towards my dream, I was afraid that I would come to a halt before I could see all the beauty of my choice.

Hearing my words, making Greysie's heart beat even more, his hands tremble, his breathing also flinched irregularly.

Greysie's gaze as he looked away from me, he saw himself getting further away from me, farther away, farther away, making Greysie's gaze blacken, just a little bit of light in the darkness, he said, until Greysie saw everything go dark.

Greysie slowly stood up while looking at me, his body unbalanced, he stepped back slowly, until he fell unconscious.

"Grey...!" aric shouted at him immediately.

Seriate...