Illusions
CHAPTER 4 (Part 3)

"Then how do you feel about me?" Yeri paused to stare at every corner and feature Jungkook's beautiful face and memorized it in her heart. "Because honestly, I love you. I always have, and always will. That day you came to my dorm room at SMU, you told me how you felt, I fell in love with you too, I was so afraid to pull you into a fate where the violence I felt was. But I was wrong. You're not the one who's interested in that, but I'm the one who got dragged into it. I should have trusted you more, me, us. I should have run away with you back then. I should have given you the chance to love me, I should have given myself the chance to be loved. But the past is in the past. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to keep our relationship there where it can regress here. What about you? What do you want? Whatever your decision is, I will respect it. I just want this pain between us to go away. "

Jungkook said nothing but gaped at him as if he was looking at someone else, not his old Yeri, and he had every right to look at him that way. Yeri did feel a change in her. He felt himself growing into someone he was not. Someone who is more courageous, someone who is loved, someone who knows how to stand up for his beliefs and the things he loves. If there was one thing he really wanted to fight for right now, it was his love.

"Do you want to say something?" Yeri asked, raising her eyebrows towards Jungkook. Jungkook cleared his throat, his cheeks were red, and he tilted his head to the left so that Yeri did not see him.

"I don't know what to say."

"Tell me about how you feel" Yeri said, squeezing her hand. "What do you feel right now?"

"Brown, happy, guilty?" Thank goodness Jungkook explained, not pushing her away. However, he still did not look into his eyes.

"Which one of them is the greatest?"

Jungkook said nothing, his eyes flashing blankly at the soothing yellow light bulb on his left that came from the lamp on his desk.

"Jungkook," Yeri crawled closer and she felt the warmth of Jungkook's body, his knees, and his thighs, seeping over her own like a definition of soothing warmth. When Yeri spoke again, her voice still maintained her soothing soft tone. "Do you want to be in a relationship with me? It could be just a friendship, and it could be a more. I'll never force you to choose a path you don't want. "

"I don't" Jungkook began softly, afraid that if he spoke louder the moment would be ruined. "I don't want us to be friends."

"Then?" Yeri wove their fingers together and pretended not to hear a sigh coming out from under her chest. "What do you want us to be?"

Jungkook took a deep breath, shivered, stabilized himself and forced his choked breath and hiccups to shrink. It was already quite embarrassing that he lit a reddish-colored torch all over his body; he also did not want to sound like a confused person. "I want to fall in love with you as if we were normal people. I don't want this pain to stay between us anymore. I don't want to pretend to hate you and I don't want to see you hurt by it. I want us to be together. I don't want any secrecy or disloyalty. I want you to let me know when there are a lot of things bothering you and I want you to let me know when you don't want to take part in things. Most importantly, I don't want you to feel the need to run away from me again, forever. "

"OK," Yeri gulped. "I promise."

"Thank you." Jungkook muttered so softly and was so soothing that Yeri might not hear him. But Yeri suddenly wanted to hug Jungkook, hold him close to his heart and never told him anything bad to hurt the precious man.

There was a bit of silence after her, a silence that was not too awkward and also not too strong. Yeri sat there staring at him, taking all the features of Jungkook's face into her memory. He glanced at the man's black hair, and he looked at his still-attached crooked eyes with dripping tears in his eyes. His nose resembled a reddish button and his cheeks were also not far from that red hue. There were teardrops left in her long lashes and they flickered alive every time Jungkook blinked his eyes. He was the image of the good looks that Yeri loved and Jungkook made his heart beat like an infinite ship soaring through the ocean.

"Can I kiss you now?" Yeri exclaimed, feeling some sort of tickling desire on her lips, and she stared at Jungkook with a predatory gaze while swallowing her saliva.

"What?" Jungkook replied.

"May I kiss you?" Yeri did not hesitate to repeat his words.

"I also want us to go through it slowly," Jungkook sounded almost sarcastic as he said this, his eyes spinning. However, when she saw the displeased expression on Yeri's face, she cleared her throat and added. "Please."

Yeri tried not to show Jungkook the disappointment that had been burning inside him due to his words but at the same time, he was unable to hide it completely. Yeri's next words were filled with disappointment. "You mean you don't want to kiss me?"

"I don't know, I'm a little drunk," Jungkook made an excuse, but it sounds honest. "Why don't you ask me when I'm less drunk or no longer drunk?"

"Come, let's go to sleep."

"Together?" Jungkook squeaking.

"This is my room which means it's my rule" Yeri grinned at him. "I'm willing to share a bed with you if you don't want to sleep on the floor." Yeri said it was because she learned that Jungkook had a problem in his back that prevented him from sleeping on the floor.

Jungkook pouting. "You're manipulative."

Yeri grinned. "You know me."

Yeri stood up from her position so as not to make things awkward for Jungkook and walked around his room to turn on the AC. Meanwhile, Jungkook starts taking off his jacket, and takes his shoes off his feet, and leans on the bed like Yeri did. When Yeri returns, she takes her place next to Jungkook and pulls a blanket on the two of them.

Yeri hears Jungkook gulp his saliva and she is happy that Jungkook forgave her despite the awkwardness Jungkook still feels. Yeri lay on her side, facing Jungkook, and Jungkook quickly crawled up to her and buried his face into Yeri's chest. Whether he did it because he did not want Yeri to see his face filled with shame or he was taking the opportunity to hug her; yeri did not know. All he knows is that Jungkook is very close to him and he gets all of this, which is certainly better than he expected.

Yeri moved her position slightly so that she felt more comfortable and Jungkook followed her, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his arms. However, it was Jungkook who became the little spoon where he buried himself completely into Yeri's body, his warm breath descending onto Yeri's chest like the pounding of the waves on the jagged rocks. Yeri took a deep breath, felt unsteady, and tried to tease the man.

"You work fast, huh?"

"Shut up." Jungkook muttered in his chest, squeezing his hands towards Yeri and pulling Yeri more into his arms until Yeri forced to separate his legs so Jungkook could put his feet between them.

"You really like to use me as a pillow you hug." Yeri teases her gently, grabs Yeri's fingers into her hair and puts them gently into her soft hair, producing a puppy-like purring sound.

Yeri could imagine Jungkook's pouting face now, and he chuckled gently before bending over to give a small kiss on the man's head.

"Hey, Kookie." Yeri muttered after a few seconds enjoying the warmth of Jeon Jungkook encircling her arms.

"Yes?"

"You can sing again, right?" Yeri asked the exact same question as she asked when they were camping. Jungkook stiffens and he feels Jungkook's body go cold in his arms, but then Jungkook relaxes again before Yeri can tell him to start singing.

"What do you want?"

Yeri sighed in happiness, her tone spontaneously screeching merrily.

"Whatever you like."

Jungkook then sings the exact same song as they like to listen to together, and Yeri hears his baritone voice echoing around the walls of her room and clinging there like part of her memory.