Illusions
CHAPTER 10 (Part 2)

...**psychologist**...

Does stepping make you walk? Does walking make you run? Does running make you tired? Is tired making you sick? if yes, then why do you still want to step? is that the future you saw before you chose to live and be born in this world?

********

Night at 20:01 p.m. Rasya says goodbye to Aric and Greysie, after he receives a call from his friend.

"Two back first bro, Grey I'm back first" said Rasya, he stood. Aric and Greysie stood up.

"Em, the cave comes along, there's business too, you really don't pp Grey? tanya Aric held Greysie's shoulder.

"Yes" Greysie smiled.

"If so we say yes first" said Aric.

"Yes, you guys be careful, sorry I can't get anterin up front" Greysie said slowly.

"Yes, Call us later Grey, you also have to take care of your health" said Rasya. Greysie nodded, smiling.

It's 21:11 p.m. I woke up a little surprised to dream. Hand clenched. My head feels so dizzy.

Greysie was still faithfully waiting for me, when I woke up he immediately hugged me tightly.

"I know you're sick, Ra" Greysie's inner self, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Grey.." call me soft, my lips tremble withstanding the cry. I shook my head at him.

"I don't want to continue this anymore, Grey" I cried.

"We have promised to continue together, Ra. if you choose to end everything, I will come with you" Greysie said staring at me.

"Why Gray? why...? why, why, why, aah? I slowly trembled, my left tear dripping.

"Why..?! am-i'm living! in this hell world?" my eyes were full of tears, my lips were trembling.

"Why? huhu~ i hate me, i hate me Grey, i hate this world and all its contents, i hate all of it, i hate me, i fu*king have my self, i fu*king hate me" I said with a miserable cry.

"I fu*king hate me, Grey. i hate me, huhu.. i hate, i hate it" I said slowly, I leaned my head on my palms.

"Why you hate so much ur self, Ra? I prefer it when you're cheerful, when you're laughing loosely than on a gini cake" Greysie said staring sadly as tears filled his cheeks.

"Yes, you're a Grey, I always laugh, but not with him, if you take off his mask, then the other face that seems to be just pain" my inner self.

My eyes were closed with tears flowing. I'm trying to control my emotions right now. I don't want everything to go awry if I can't control myself.

Greysie looked at me with a curious look, for Greysie it was not easy to hold a question in her mind. He began to remember what happened about two and a half years ago.

Flashback, two and a half years ago. Inside my house, I was drunk. It was the first time I was drunk.

"I cf. e. a newborn baby." hiccups, "hehe, heg, keep me giggling him to death" I said indistinctly.

"Huh?! speaking of what is dahh" Greysie said.

"I mean. she should. die, if she wants to live, I'm going to kill her" I obviously stared hatefully.

"I don't know, you're rarely drunk, but once drunk he likes to talk" Greysie said, seizing a bottle from my hand.

"Hmff, hihi, heg," my eyes closed as my head leaned against the oval-shaped table.

Greysie always took the opportunity to ask when I was drunk. When someone gets drunk, they tell the truth. All this time it's been her way of getting to know me, because I've always kept a million secrets from her. Greysie never told me. If I knew all that, I swear I would never get drunk again.

"Hey Ra, hey. why are you going to kill that baby? asked Greysie to shake my body.

"Hmff, 'cause he's not supposed to live, I hate him, I really hate him" I'm still with my eyes closed.

"Well, who can I know who the baby is?" ask Greysie. He was very curious.

"Emff, no" I shook my head.

"Pliss, plis.." Greysie. He kept pushing with repeated questions, so I finally told him.

"Emff, mmff, it's. it's actually me, but not me, but me. but not me" I obviously didn't explain at all.

"Ah? I don't understand Ra, what do you mean?" ask Greysie again

"I don't know. I don't know.how to explain, don't bother, I want to sleep!" i'm upset.

"I'm sorry, yes" Greysie said.

"Hmm" I said, sleep.

Greysie woke up from her daydream, and she put a blanket on me because I was back asleep.

********

Meanwhile, at the Alaska headquarters. Rendi and Heafen were still fighting for strength, there was nothing to lose between the two, but they were also both exhausted.

Shortly after, the sound of police car sirens approached the Alaskan headquarters. Alvan came in and shouted at Rendi.

"Bro, the police are coming, we better get going now" Alvan shouted. Rendi and Heafen's contact stops fighting, with the heavy feeling of Rendi's heart immediately leaving Heafen.

Police are inside the Alaska headquarters. Some members of the Alaskan and Gotreasure motorcycle gangs have been arrested by police. Aaron came to Heafen.

"Bro, let's get out of here" asked Aaron. They stood at the window, jumping from the two-story building, but police stopped them.

"Stop, dorr" shot loose up.

"Stop, guys!" rasha.

Heafen and Aaron glanced back, raising both of their hands. Heafen's face grew even more upset after learning that it was Rasya.

Agus and Anthony are coming. They then handcuff Heafen and Aaron, taking him to the police station.

********

The next morning, I woke up.

"Okeh, be ready there, we go now" Greysie ordered.

"Huh? go where?" many wonder.

"So, get ready and get ready" Greysie said, forcing me to get up.

"Okeyy, okay okay" I glanced at him in surprise. I walked into the bathroom, occasionally looking towards Greysie, he kept looking at me.

"Ni son why, make me afraid" my mind.

"Your wounds do not get water nudged" cried Greysie.

An hour later, I finished my shower and got ready. We also leave.

"Where are we going" I asked.

"You are silent" Greysue said briefly. I crossed my hands, breathing heavily.

Arrive at the destination. I read the name of where we were. My eyes were round from reading the name of the place, then I glanced at Greysie. We got out of the car and got in.

"Hey, hey? hey, hey" call me after Greysie, I'm trying to stop him from talking.

Greysie just kept quiet, he kept stepping, until he stopped in front of the reception desk of this place. He then took care of all the needs and told me to go into the psychologist room. I had to follow his will because I was already here, even though I was still confused by everything.

In the psychologist's room.

"Ehh, hi bu el, how are you" I asked a little awkwardly.

"Good mother Callista, how are you?" ask a Psychologist.

"Em, I'm good ma'am, hehe" I replied, still awkward.

"Okey Callista, you're usually here with Grey, and now you're here" the psychologist smiled.

"Haha, emm, yes..hehe" I replied scratching my non-itchy neck.

An hour later. I'm out of the room. Greysie came straight for me.

"Udah?" ask Greysie. I'm patting, yeah.

"I go in first yes, you wait here only first" said Greysie, his hand turning the doorknob of the psychologist's room.

Inside, in,

"You know what Callista is? psychologist asks, his hand playing with the pen, waiting for the answer to take notes again.

"He's Infj, I'm Entp" Greysie replied. Bu el nodded, while his hand still recorded on the diagnosis paper.

"Hmm, your panties are friends" said the smiling psychologist. Greysie smiled awkwardly.

"Em, so.. This Callista has a very deep past trauma, so that makes Callista can not accept himself" continued Psychologists open the first explanation. Greysie was silent as his heart began to pump his blood quickly.

"May say Callista hates himself and does not want to accept part of him, em... Callista harbors all his own feelings too much, making Callista seem okay with all his fake masks on. Callista is having a hard time telling her past. It seemed like it was something that Callista buried deeply. Callista does not want it to haunt him, but actually that is the main cause that Callista is not aware of. Rejection of himself, not willing to accept the reality that has happened to make Callista as he is now" said Psychologist.

"He likes to make jokes, right? she likes to laugh as if she is okay, emm, and seems humorous if you already know Callista" asked the psychologist.

"Em, yes bu el" Greysie replied with a sad mimic.

"Well, silly behavior, laughter, all the jokes Callista put out is to cover up her true feelings, she's very good at hiding her feelings. It can be said, Callista is good at playing expressions to cover his feelings, and you can be easily fooled, people like him out there are very manipulative" explained Psychologist.

"You ever ask about Callista's past, don't you?" ask Psychologist.

"Yes ma'am, never" Greysie said softly.

"Keep..how does Callista react when you ask about her past?" ask the psychologist again

"Emm, she.. mad mom, very upset, and. every time I ask her cake always avoids, diverts the subject or silent, as if she can't get me to know, I know, ma'am" Greysie explained.

"Hm," nods and notes, "it is most likely a very serious problem, in which Callista does not want others to know, so Callista closes it tightly. It could also be that Callista has made mistakes in his past that make Callista difficult to tell, other than because Callista himself could not accept the fact that he had made that mistake, Callista is also afraid that others will blame him for the mistake" said Psychologist.

A few minutes passed. Greysie out of the room. His face seemed to think of many things, he was pensive to think of all that he had known.

Greysie was like a confused person. It was as if he had just seen something impossible but had instead become a shocking reality. He sat down and remembered everything.

"All that really? How to kill his own father? ak, I. I thought it was Cara getting drunk back then.." Inner Greysie. He remembered what I said to him about two and a half years ago.

"You know whatt?," hiccups, "you kn, ow what's my, biggest se, cret of, this life?" I said speaking indistinctly because I was drunk.

"No.., i' don't, what's your biggest secret?" greysie asked, he looked confused.

"Hegh," hiccups, "heh," chuckled, "heh, hahaha, hahahah," I laughed loosely.

"Hahaha, haaaahh, hahaha, haaa," stopped smiling, "aaiiishh," looked at the hate, "fuckkk!" I said, the look on my face was angry with the look of hate.

I slowly brought my face closer to Greysie, then I whispered to her.

"I killed, my own fat," smiled, "her" whispered to Greysie, then laughed.

"Hahahaha, hahaha, aahahah, ha ha ha, hahahah" I laughed with pain.

Greysie rounded his eyes, surprised to hear what I said, then he looked at me in surprise with a laugh.

Greysie was still sitting there and I was worried about him, trying to talk to him.

"Grey.. Grey, are you okay, Grey"? my question, hold his hand.

"Hemm, hmff, let my brain digest everything first" Greysie replied, his voice trembling slowly as well.

"Huh? you say what, I'm not horrified" I asked, mengrytkan forehead astonishment.

Greysie was silent. He dissolves in his own mind. He was pensive for a very long time, while I kept quiet, waiting for him until he felt calm again.

Seriate...