Still Wishing He Back?
83. Anxiety

Airin left Darren without listening to any more of the explanation Darren was trying to tell her. His misfortune about Darren intending to bring his son, kept ringing in his head to make him feel anxiety.

"I know it's gonna be like this." While pacing back and forth with an anxious expression that was so clearly visible on his face, Airin did not feel calm after his last meeting with Darren.

"Because this is why a few days ago I kept feeling bad." His mutter continued to think about the anxiety he felt for no reason a few days ago.

"No, Arka's my son, I've been raising my son alone all this time, so he can't take it from me."

It seems that Airin continues to try to block Darren's intention to take his son. Remembering Darren who he knew was about to marry someone, he therefore assumed that Darren wanted to include his son in his new family. When remembering that fact, somehow the corner of his heart suddenly felt pain.

"My heart why does it hurt like this, huh?" He said while holding his heart that suddenly felt pain because he remembered Darren who was about to get married.

Imagine if Darren will marry another woman, it seems Airin still can not accept that reality. Just imagine he can't afford to do it. Although he was quite angry with Darren who left him and did not even remember him, but did not deny that his heart and feelings still continue to expect him back.

"Are I really expecting it back?" Airin seemed unsure of what he really wanted right now, especially on what he had to do for Darren in the future.

It was impossible for him to keep separating his son from his biological father, but on the one hand he also did not want to see Darren take Arka from him. The child he had cared for and raised from childhood was already like a precious treasure to him.

"But, what if Arka prefers it and leaves?" His fear became more and more, so he could not think clearly and rationally anymore.

Although Darren is the father of his son, but the situation and conditions that have changed between the two at this time make the relationship warm, now it's turning cold and it's even hard to just talk to each other. It is not easy to repair a broken relationship, or forgive someone who has given a wound.

.....

No different from Airin who continues to feel anxious, Darren who is currently on an overseas service trip, continues to think about his last meeting with Airin. The chat of the two who hung and no progress made his heart continue to hold. He who now knows how he feels about Airin, can not turn his mind to his figure who has stolen the attention and also his heart.

"I'm not just gonna let go." He said, not wanting to let go of Airin.

"I have to make it by my side again." His words are full of determination.

He is determined to make Airin back his side again, although he knows it will not be easy unruknya, but Darren does not want to give up. After knowing how the meaning of the feelings he felt in Airin that he constantly thought, now he was increasingly convinced that it was not just his curiosity, but his curiosity, unless it comes from his heart that misses his figure so much.

"I can't help but remember it, it's just that I feel ashamed and also feel guilty to just stare at it or see it." His actual speech was already half way remembering about his memories with Airin.

He has been consulting with the doctors who have been treating him all this time. Darren appears to be trying to recall memories of his past with Airin, though what he did would have allowed him to reopen his wounds. Wounds about his injuries that he also could not remember clearly after waking up from his long coma.

......................

It has been a week since the meeting of the two, although it goes like their usual life, but did not deny that the two are thinking about each other. Although the distance between the two is separate, but the heart that is bound still binds the feelings of the two. Well, Airin and Darren, both of them are both immersed in their respective minds.

Although he has not remembered the important memories of his relationship with Airin, Darren remembers clearly how he used to be with Airin, making him not want to release Airin from his side, and determined to make everything back to how it was. Just like before he left and also the loss of memory about him.

"Can I make it all happen?" Said Darren who felt his journey was still too far to just want it.

Although Airin seemed so angry at him that he left it without explanation, to make him raise his son alone, making his feelings filled with great guilt to not know where to start. Darren, who had never been upset, now felt how frustrated he was with his problems.

....

"I miss him, but I'm mad at him too." Said Airin when each time remembering the figure of Darren.

There is concern about his own feelings when he meets the person he really misses and awaits his will, but the unstoppable anger because of his circumstances makes it so difficult to accept his will again.

Fear and anxiety still haunts Airin today. Because when I met Darren a few days ago, there were so many things that bothered him that it left anxiety for him.

Despite not seeing Darren again after that day, Darren still leaves his mark on the boy. Darren seemed to meet Arka who was playing with Dava when it was in the garden after he returned from his apartment, even he gave Arka a gift.

"Arka's out to buy toys, huh? Mama didn't give me the money Arka did? Did Dava buy it for Arka?"

Seeing the child coming home with a toy, Airin who did not feel like giving money to Arka immediately asked the child. However, Arka immediately denied it by shaking her head, denying that Dava had bought her a toy.

"Where does dong keep his toys from?" Ask Airin.

"It's a gift from papa." Replied Arka smiling happily hugging a gift from Darren.

Airin instantly froze. He also became increasingly made unsettled by Darren's attitude. His fear is getting higher on Darren's attitude which is getting closer to his son.

Excessive anxiety and fear that continues to eat away at his feelings, making him no longer able to think clearly. Airin looks so scared that Darren will take his son, even though Darren himself is the father of his son.

"Can't be like this, I keep feeling anxious for no reason. Should I just move, huh?"