Still Wishing He Back?
62. The Heart of an Arkana

Arka is just a 5-year-old child, but her sensitivity to her parents, especially her mother, Airin, makes her look more mature than her age, although it is not easy for a small child to understand the problems of adults, especially their own parents.

With the silence Arka on Airin who is none other than his own biological mother, about the thing that will make Airin sad later if he so say this to Airin, making him look like a wonderful child at his age, because his attitude is more concerned with the feelings of his mother than his own feelings.

Though he was only five years old, and he also still needed a more explanation about his biological father, he said, but Arka who was a child did not ask back to his mother and instead threw away the curiosity of his biological father, although there are times when he felt jealous and sad when he saw his friends telling happily about their father, especially when he saw his friends were picked up by their father to school, sometimes they make you want to feel the same way.

However, because he grew up from a single parent, making an Ark only grow up and receive affection from a mother, until the wishful thinking and expectations about the father that he imagined in his imagination can not be easily realized, considering himself does not know the meaning of the word a real father, especially the original figure.

Until one day, unnoticed by Airin, who is none other than his own biological mother, that every opportunity that Airin does not know, that, Arka tries to make a diary about her dreams and hopes to be able to live happily with a full family.

Although he never saw his own biological father, in his book, Arka tried to draw the figure of his biological father, and in his imagination he and his parents were smiling and laughing happily while holding hands together. A small, meaningful scratch from a five-year-old.

The little doodles he drew and wrote in the book were like his own close friend, as if he was comforting himself who was sad because he could not have a father. By realizing his dream of hope through a picture he wrote and made with his own hands, Arka plain and kind heart, already felt a great happiness just by looking at the results of his own image.

"Hopefully someday, Arka can meet papa and we can stay together. Amen."

With her innocent expression and sincere hope, Arka clenched her two hands while slightly making a small wish for her.

Arka is calm and always obey Airin, it turns out to keep feelings that Airin does not know, especially feelings about him who is so eager to know and see the figure of his biological father. Although all this time continue to hold him and be indifferent to it in order to keep the feeling of Airin, who is also his biological mother, but Arka is still a child his age who will also be curious and look for the figure of his biological father

....

Because his son is quiet and more closed about his personal feelings, Arka who was still a child never told this to his mother, although in his head full of questions about his biological father. All this time he only chose to hold back to ask Airin, because he did not want to see Airin sad, considering Airin always held back his tears every time he would tell me about this, because he did not want to see Airin sad, because Airin always held back his tears every time he would tell me about this matter, Sensitive and understanding arcs no longer ask about his biological father to his mother and end up just guessing themselves in his mind.

"Mama always cried when she told me about papa, why, huh?"

"Have you done anything wrong with Mom?"

"Why didn't papa find Arka? Don't you love Arka?"

"I want to meet papa."

There are many things he says with curiosity. Arka looks moody when she can not find the answer to her curiosity and can only be determined by her desire to meet her father immediately.

Although he had never seen and met directly with his papa, but there was a moment where Arka finally could find out the figure of his papa even though it was only through a photo that he was not as excited as he saw. From the photo, Arka can see for the first time the face of the father.

At that time, when he accidentally woke up from his night sleep, he accidentally saw the figure of his mother who was crying in front of a photo that he was holding in both hands.

"Why are you crying?" He said to Airin who turned his back on his body with a facial expression that still held back drowsiness.

"Ah, did mama make Arka wake up?" Reply Airin, who immediately looked at his son, by first storing the photo he was holding and also removing the tears that had dripped soaked both his eyes and cheeks.

"Mama why? Does anything make you sad?" Arka is still trying to ask Airin.

"It's nothing, baby, it's just a small matter. Arka better sleep again, mama's going to sleep too." Airin did not answer honestly and instead turned to Arka to immediately go back to sleep.

Arka who was still sleepy no longer asked and obeyed the desire of Airin to lie back, until finally the two lay down and sleep together.

Forgive the mother who lied.

Airin stroked her son's hair gently, feeling a little sorry for lying to him, and he closed his eyes to sleep.

....

Although Arka had witnessed Airin crying in the middle of the night, but he had forgotten the incident before he finally met with a photo that he accidentally dropped while picking up a book on the drawer.

Once he took a photo that accidentally fell on the floor, he was surprised to see a photo of his mother who was smiling with a man he did not know.

"It's mama." He said when he saw the photo.

"Who's next to Mama?" He said again with curiosity.

Arka, which was only 5 years old, continued to flip photos, as if looking for answers to things that made him curious. His expression instantly changed as if he remembered something.

"It's a picture you used to hold while crying." His words then finally remembered the moment when he saw Airin crying in the middle of the night while holding a photo.

"Why is mom crying? Is it because the picture is ugly?"

With a confused face, Arka who is still innocent continues to look for answers from his sense of curiosity for the first photo he saw.

"Lad..." His chirps then suddenly called out to papa, to the man beside his mother.