ELECTORAL MAN
Dopamine Syndrome

I always remember The Bald. In the classroom, in Bu Endang's room, in the cafeteria, and in the teacher's room. There are vibrations I cannot lie to. The vibrations that have shattered my feelings. The vibrations that always arise when his face is present in my mind. When his smile and behavior returned.

What's up with me? am I starting to fall in love? it all started last night. When he told me he didn't come home and had to stay in his office. There are deadlines to be worked on, he said. Either true or not. Because all this time, in my observation, he quite often brings work and finishes his deadline at home. He rarely goes home.

I who was vacillating waiting for his arrival was increasingly hit by anxiety. I don't know why, I feel disappointed. Sad, want to cry, upset, and ah, I don't know what else. All mixed into one. Is she the same Meylan? it could be, right? he just reasoned to stay at his office, when who knew he was staying at Meylan's apartment?

A very possible possibility. They were once bound as a couple who loved each other. Moreover, they are now starting to establish closeness again. I was suddenly jealous. Unknowingly, the puddles began to gather. I slept with tears.

My breakfast was alone. We usually talk about anything. He also took the time to drive me to school. I was upset when the WA message was only sent and had not been read by him. It's seven o'clock now. And he usually wakes up at this hour.

I went to work with half a heart. Because the other half is here.. In this house. My heart is left here. The heart that wanted the Bald One to come home this morning. If you obey the desire it feels lazy to move. But duty and responsibility are waiting in plain sight. This is what happened at work today. Where I can't focus and always show her face. My heart keeps shaking every time I remember it or see the photos on the sosmed. There is a longing that continues to disturb.

I miss him. Aah, that's so much, huh??? but this is how it is. People who usually like to be more with their feelings. And I always do this every time I'm kasmaran. Always easy to cry, easy to miss and easily disappointed too, hmmmm.

...****************...

I'm still alone. Soon the twilight changed the night. And he hasn't come home yet. I was again feeling long and anxious. I want to call him, ask him where he is, has he eaten or not? what time will he come home?

I go through it minute by minute by browsing his Facebook and Instagram. I look at the photos. I read his status and posts. Instantly the beatings in the heart came back dancing. I feel like I'm flying high. So beautiful this feeling. Dopamine syndrome has been running my blood circulation. I fell in love. Really in love.

Cellphone ringing. The baldy told him to come home late. He told me not to wait for him to eat dinner. I returned to nelangsa. My thoughts were again just on him. I want to wait for him tonight. Open the door for her and welcome her.

Hmmmmm...Is this too much? I fell in love with her. And this is completely out of my control. I also don't know how this feeling suddenly appeared. Has it ever been since we acted in front of her mom? or when I room with him? I don't know. Do I not-don't I was a quick baper? so easily carried away feelings. But it was just pretending. No. gabe. I can't let this grow. I have to be realistic. Falling in love with her will only make me more hurt....

Oh God.. Please help me...

Seriate.