ELECTORAL MAN
Insecure

"They're so pretty, Mom?" ask me.

This afternoon after following Beauty Class, Ms. Queen took me out for a cup of iced coconut across the street.

"Well, his name is also public figure Nis. Beauty is the main capital. They are required to always look beautiful and attractive. In essence, various ways are done to keep it looking okay in front of the TV. Many do treatments in beauty clinics such as white injections, collagen injections, fillers, thread planting, botox until there is also plastic surgery."

"Fortunately have a husband who loves what he is. The one whose love will not wear off even though our physicality begins to age. Who can keep his eyes out and not glare at the physical beauty of other women." Said the Queen Mother.

"Suami Mbak Ninis looks like a good and loyal man huh? kept up, Ma'am. Don't get another woman smitten. Nurturing and maintaining love is very difficult. There are many temptations out there!" The Queen is starting to look sad.

Instantly I immediately coughed. Like something stuck in my throat. Aah, if the Queen Mother could know my heart. I want it to feel, I tell stories...

My phone is ringing. It turns out there is a WA from Bu Endang. Ms. Endang asked me to go to her house this afternoon. He asked me to find an inventory journal report on his laptop. The laptop just got serviced. There are some files that cannot be found. I also say goodbye to Miss Queen and rushed to Bu Endang's house.

...****************...

Staring at the face in front of the mirror became a ritual that I often do in recent days. Every night, before going to bed. I look closely at my eyes, my nose, my cheeks, my chin, my eyebrows and also my lips. Then I began to observe the beautiful faces of models and celebrities. And began to look around for any similarities from their physical appearance to my usual face.

Haha... I lack this job. Duh, why am I becoming more insecure like this anyway? Lucky for those who are blessed with beautiful faces and physical. Do they easily get what they want? including luck with love. But is it always so?

Aah, it doesn't feel like it. Many also, women who are physically ordinary can get sincere love.

Aah, not all. Many are born beautiful, but not lucky in love. Many are born beautiful, but also mediocre in the field of work. There are many factors at play there. And not just beauty.

I looked at my face in the mirror again. Many people say I am sweet. My nose is also not very pugnacious. It seems like a level of confidence, not just seen from the physical. But also from other factors. Treasure, and popularity. Also social status.

"Beauty needs a process. Can't be instant. Look at the artists. They are not so pretty and white! it needs something called treatment!" I suddenly remembered Vera's words.

Do I have to do make over? filler, thread planting, white injecting, hmmmmm.....

But for what? to look beautiful and attractive in the eyes of the Bald? to look more confident? but it must be expensive? it feels good to spend money on such treatment. The Bald does give me a monthly amount of money that is very good every month. Maybe by setting aside a portion of it each month, enough for the cost of nasal fillers and facelifts. But???

The Bald Belom came home. He usually comes home at this time and we will have dinner together. I don't know why, I'd love to see his face tonight. Imagining eating alone with her later, made my heart tremble.

I looked back at the mirror. Will this ordinary face of mine be able to make her fall in love? can make him flabbergasted and at home, at the same time can make him tingle on me. Uuups, what kind of thoughts are these? what's up with me?

My heart is getting worse. I'm restless waiting for him to come home tonight. My heart was becoming more and more untrustworthy. I want to be around him tonight. I want to look at his face. I want to accompany him in conversation. I want to see his laughter and smile. Did I send a WA message? and ask her whereabouts and why she hasn't come home yet.

Seriate.