ELECTORAL MAN
Is This Reality?

I cried last night. Oh my God, do I dream? is it really all that he said? my chest tightens if I remember all his words again? why is he doing that to me? what's my fault?

As long as he lies. He never wanted me. He married me as a condition to smooth his business in order to be able to refer to his ex-wife. I have been the victim of their game...

I remember the beginning of our meeting. I was very happy at the time. Our brief introduction continued with taaruf and got married. I'm very happy...Then my memory returned to the moments where I often saw oddities and facial expressions that looked gloomy and sad.

I always thought maybe he was tired or stressed with his job. And it turns out that this is the answer to all of that. The answer to his weirdness and the expression on his face that looked sad at that moment. Apparently he has not been able to move on from his ex-wife and still very much hopes to get back to her soon.

He never touched me either. I often avoid it when I am at home. It turns out that now everything is revealed...

Duh, Wrestling....Why does all this have to happen to me? why should my life be this absurd? do I not deserve to be happy?

Astagfirulagalazim apos... Now I have to how? what am I supposed to do?

Does Miss Endang know about all this? my heart asked again. Does Miss Endang know? when did Miss Endang not know?

I have to tell all this to Bu Endang. Must. Don't-don't Miss Endang already know the plan of the Bald eeh Mas Farid, this, and then he is willing to help find a candidate who fits his criteria as a way to smooth his intentions in order to be able to refer to his ex-wife.

It felt like a huge chunk of fire was ready to explode inside my chest. Disappointed, angry, sad all mixed into one. Is it possible that Miss Endang is indeed in conspiring with the Bald?

No. gabe. No. gabe.. Miss Endang couldn't be that bad as me. Not likely. Ms. Endang, a very kind and sincere person is with me. Not likely....

Bu Endang also definitely did not know the intentions and rotten plans of the Bald married me. And now, do I have to tell Bu Endang everything?

I will never be Cinderella. The happiness that I thought I could achieve after marriage, it turned out to have to end like this. Bitterer. Really bitter. This reality is so bitter.

What am I here for? obviously, he doesn't want me. I just want to go home and tell my parents at home. I got up and started to get ready.

But what do they say later? My mother and father would be very sad to know all this. They must have been in shock. I imagined, how broken my heart Mother saw me return to her house with a big bag while crying. Then the crying would break even more if I told him everything.

I'm stumped. Oh my God, how should I?

I don't want to make my parents sad. I look at myself in front of the mirror. Do I not deserve to be happy? getting married was my dream all along. But, Oh God.. Why is this the kind of marriage I have to have? fake wedding. Pretended marriage. He could have deceived me into marriage on the condition that his ex-wife asked.

Let it.. He will surely sin for having toyed with the sacred bond of marriage. I took a deep breath. Istighfar Nis's... Istighfar. You must be strong.

My phone is ringing. A message WA in.

"Nis, I'm really sorry. Get angry and hate me. I really deserve it. Now the decision is in your hands. I will never force you. But if you want to help me and stay here, I will be very grateful to you. I promise to give you the compensation you deserve for all your sacrifices.

(Sorry before, I asked for your help to stay here and be my wife as Meylan requested...I beg Nis. But if you really mind. I won't force it)

Astagfirullah.. It turned out that he was still hoping that I could help him to get back to Meylan.. This is totally insane. But it seems like madness should indeed be met with madness as well..

Seriate.