Dul
041. Despondence

Bara wiped away the melted tears on her cheek Colored with her two hands at once. Cupping the severed chubby cheeks and pecking at the woman's forehead. “Do not cry. We are together now. Dul our son, we take it together. I told you this first, so you're not surprised. You can set the expression if we finally have to talk to Dul. Udah .. it's malem. All are asleep.” Bara brought the head of the Sejah into his embrace.

“So, we talked to Dad first?” tanya Sejah's. His voice muffled with Bara's embrace. Bara's chin swiped the top of his head as he nodded.

Bara's embrace was calming, but it did not recede her worries. What if Dul refuses outright? What if Dul refuses and gets angry at them. He could be embarrassed. Shame on Bara, or at worst, he will be ashamed of Mr. Wirya. Sejah felt that he and Dul had too much trouble for the Bara family. They have asked too much to be understood. His heart is so broken. How did he let Dul meet Fredy?

“Tonight ... Our talk got here first. Mas tired of it. Let's not force ourselves to talk about it tonight. Later even debate and noisiness. Tomorrow-afternoon. I'll see Dad tomorrow. Actually Mas can also delay ngasi tau you, but .. Mas not calm, Jah. Sorry, Mas.” Should he tell about the worries that have been his scourge for years? Although it is already a risk, but considering that a Fredy is still among them often makes it uncomfortable. Is that so bad as a human being?

“Tomorrow Dul has not been to Tutoring again, right?”

“Neg. Just waiting for the registration to enter SMP. If the link is already accessible, we immediately register. During the waiting schedule for the entrance test, Mas want to nemenin Dul discuss the problems. Mas wants Dul to enter in his flagship class, Jah.” Bara tidied up his hair and shifted his seat into the middle of the bed.

“Hopefully can, yes, Mas ..”

“Could be,” Bara said.

Outside the room, Dul retreated slowly away from the door of his parents' second room. That fact brought him straight to the lowest point. Just a moment ago, he was sitting in a cafe with the man he called Pakdhe. Then another man, whom he called Father, came to the place. Just a few hours ago he was sitting laughing with people he realized were his family. However, it turns out that he is still a nobody. Only a stranger enters a family because his mother is married to a man.

Dul went into the room and lay face down on the bed. Why did he have to be born to an inmate father? It could be that the man was a beggar, a construction worker, a farmer, not necessarily as cool as Bara or Heru. Why should prisoners? Condemned to death anyway. Dul covered his head with a pillow. That night the shadow of a man slapping him stood behind the bars of a prisoner ushering him into dreamland.

It felt like he had just fallen asleep when he gasped for a knock on the door.

“Dul …! Dul …! Wake up?” His mother's voice came from behind the door. “If you've woken up directly to take a shower, yes. Have breakfast together.”

Never much to say, he immediately did what his mother asked. Dress neatly and present at the dining table for breakfast with Bara who always prioritizes eating at home. His father's habits are very prominent. Whatever comes home from the office, Bara will eat his mother's cooking. His mother sat quietly watching Bara who was eating. As if the clanking of Bara spoons on a plate is the most beautiful tone to be heard at midnight.

“Link registration has not been opened yet?” Bara looked at Dul on his left side.

“Udah. Do I need to send to Dad?”

“Not done. We fill it together tonight. While waiting for Dad to come home, his lesson was read again. Don't be long. An hour or so from routine origin,” order Bara.

That day Dijah drove Mima to his school on foot and equipped him with an umbrella. When returning from Kindergarten Mima, Sejah many daydream. The fear is still the same. Dul will rampage and resist loudly. Or it could be that the boy would feel forced. Dul is his son. Raising Dul means understanding that the boy has the same stubbornness as him. They both hold in silence. Opposition will make them spout words that are not pleasant to hear. He bit his lips.

Dul does routine tasks that he usually does at the end of the week. He was free from elementary school. Now morning time is spent by watering flowers, feeding fish, sweeping a little foliage in the yard, also removing the cooking waste that he placed outside the fence.

As for his mother, that day many drowned in daydreams. To and fro inside the house and lay on the sofa that became her favorite every pregnant with a look of laughter. Mima who used to chatter a lot that day seemed to feel a little if their mother did not serve her chatter too much.

“Dul ...,” call Sejah, turning to the goal of the middle door to see if in that place they are just the two. Mima had been on the back porch with Mbok Jum who was grating cassava to make a cake.

“Ya, Ma?” Dul turned the seat a little. He had prepared his heart and ears to hear what his mother was going to say. He was determined to .. reject whatever it was to do with his father. There was no place in his heart for that man.

“You know that your father has been in prison all this time?” tanya Sejah, looking straight into Dul's eyes.

“Which father? I only have Dad,” insisted Dul.

Sejah nodded. “Bene. You have a father now. But you are your father's son. My mother also did not like it. But we both have to admit that, Dul. How do you think I feel about this?” Sealed again glanced towards the door.

“I don't want to ...,” shrewd Dul, bow his head deeply.

“Mom will tell you a little. You better be horrified from Mom than you are horrified from people,” said Dijah. “Your father was an accomplice to a drug factory owner. You know drugs, right? We all watch the news often. Your father was caught and imprisoned. But from inside the prison your father still moves the transaction. Still trade it haram—”

“I don't want to hear ...” Dul covered his ears. His mother's tone of voice was very firm, but the tears of the woman who gave birth to him had melted since then. His mother was just as weak as him. However, in terms of his disgrace and past injuries, his mother was more battered.

“You must hear. I don't want you to hear from others. Before we were just the two of us. You wink, right, how do we both survive that man? Now the man who said your father asked to see you. He wants to see you before he's executed. His sentence has been sentenced, just waiting for the implementation.”

“I don't want to have that Mr. ..” lirih Dul again by covering his ears. “I want Daddy aja.”

“If you do not want, then your Pakdhe who is there will come here. Bring in a Legal Aid Institution. Are you not the same as Mom? I don't want to see them, Dul …. Mom doesn't want.” He was crying harder now.

“I don't want to .. I don't want to!” Dul's voice is rising. Both of his hands were still closing his ears.

Sejah pulled Dul's hand from his ear. “Dengerin I—”

“I want Daddy aja—”

“But your biological father was there! Not the father here!" pissed Colored. Dul's crying broke.

“Wed!!”

The Bara's cry from the doorway shocked Dul and Dijah who were tearful. Who try equally hard to deny their past.

To Be Continued