Secrets & Prejudice = Keep it secret, you will hurt
twenty separated.

I really cried at school, it was so sad. I didn't know I was this weak when it was about love. I'm lucky, I have a face that doesn't make it easy to cry. So, I don't need to be confused about hiding the tear marks or anything. Just swiping and then I look fine. After looking around, I got up. Back to my route to class. I don't care if the one who comforted me was a ghost or a human. If I meet the most I can only say thank you.

In class, everyone was busy as usual. Tends to be a lot actually. Because our break time is not really over. Either way, the break this time felt much slower than usual.

Maybe I should study again. Learning to accept that not everything can go the way I want. I want Ananta to love me, then he loves our young teacher. I shamelessly still want her to love me once more, then she's with my own best friend. God fucking.

It seems, as per his wishes I will be able to curse properly after being broken hearted many times in the same person. Now I wonder again. Can time really heal a wound like this? or as they say I need someone new first?. Huft, why adolescence should be full of these dizzying things anyway.

I shook my own head unconsciously to the point of attracting the attention of my classmates.

"why are you na?" call him. Oh, I shouldn't have expressed my feelings at school.

"oh, no why. hehe" I misbehaved him. Alana. Like you never had a heartbreak or anything. You are a good boy who is always cheerful, at school or at home. Suggestions like this should keep me going home again, I thought.

...****************...

Go home from school, I go home first. As soon as possible. I don't care if Ananta is waiting for me or not. But from the way she approached me with Shinta this afternoon, I knew she wouldn't show up.

Arriving at home I parked the bike in place, a little neater than usual. Furthermore, hurriedly entered the room to open my laptop again after I had ignored it since yesterday. I opened the complaint file that I had prepared once again. This time, I think I can do it. I'm just, angry? jealous? I'm not sure. I just hate them both. Really hate her. They were like playing pull with my feelings, until I was confused to respond how. But now, I know clearly. I hate both of them.

I enlarged the photo again. That expression, that face curve. Everything is clear, and once you see anyone knows it's Ananta and Shinta. Looking at her, Shinta and Ananta's expression again came to light this afternoon. A smile that looks annoying. Closing my eyes, I am sending the complaint file now. I was still a little hesitant, but I also wanted to see, how their expressions changed after the whole school knew what they were doing.

I took a deep breath after that. The file was sent successfully. But I'm not sure if I felt really happy afterwards. I think it's closer to regret than satisfaction. I don't know, I'm sure I did.

...****************...

The next day the school became very crowded. My heart beats unbecoming. I'm not sure if I'm the cause of the crowd. But after I heard what they were talking about, I knew it was all because of me.

My classmates continued to argue. Some support the reason Other possibilities that could have happened, very positive their thinking. Feli was on the side of those who thought positively. Then some others had already said bad things to Ananta and Shinta. I'm not taking anyone's side, I'm just reporting what I saw. Although I can't deny there's a hate factor that finally makes me do this stupid thing.

I'm speechless. Amidst this furore I saw no sign of Shinta's whereabouts. Is she okay after this?. I still worry about him, though. He's still my only close friend.

But after I observed more, Ananta was not there either. They must be in the same place now.

Out of curiosity I searched all over the place, until the search stopped in the school backyard. I hid myself in an invisible location, but close enough to hear what they said. Ananta pulls Shinta's arm slowly, just like the scene in the soap opera when the main character is trying to apologize to his partner. Wait, he's apologizing?

"Shinta." call Ananta full of regrets. He's why exactly. Is there something I don't know anymore?

"it's okay. I am planning to move in the near future due to problems with my parents. But now it seems like I have to move faster" Shinta said with a bitter smile. He who is usually songong and very cheerful is lost. Replaced by teenagers my age who look sad because they have to separate from people who are valuable to him.

"Sorry, but it's all happening because you want to help me. I should have been blamed." Ananta said regretfully. Wait for. Helping out? it's what's really going on here, and why Shinta should move. As far as I know there are no rules that require you to move because of things like this.

"it's okay. Hope your family gets better soon. And, one more. I'm sending a message to Alana. He had to read the message I left on the roof. Don't let him regret it more" Shinta said. I don't know, I don't understand any of them.

Ananta's family why else? and how did Shinta help him? Why should I regret it? those questions were left in my head without a single one being answered. I probably won't hear it from Shinta anymore because I don't think I'll be able to see her after this.

I dismissed the thoughts that came up, I want to observe them once again. Who knows, this might be the last time I get to see Shinta, my best friend.

"again thank you for wanting to consider me a friend" said Ananta Lirih. My eyes widened to hear it. If they were just friends then what I saw that night was Ananta! I think I've been screaming if I don't get my words in my heart. They left me with a lot of unanswered questions like this, and then I had to.

Oh, roof. I have to go to the roof to find the truth behind it all.