Secrets & Prejudice = Keep it secret, you will hurt
nineteen disturbing.

That day I came home uncomfortable. I used to love being close to Ananta, but now coming home with Ananta feels really weird. We just stayed the whole way home.

"want to stop by first? all dinner." I said as we reached the gate of my house. Just a small talk, Ananta must have rejected it. But unlike I thought, he said something else.

"alright" she replied to me in shock once again. He even went inside, ahead of me who was still dumb in the courtyard. He's acting weird.

"hello aunty" he said calling my mother cheerfully, as if his gray face had just been a mask he could take off as he pleased. Or, her happy expression was her real mask? I don't know if I don't know his heart at all. He's still the same person I saw that night, I warned myself again. No apologies for him, not yet. Because he didn't apologize at all.

"Hi ananta. Here come in, aunty has made a lot of food.good thing you come" said Mother looks very happy. I don't need ananta, I can spend it all. I thought, but I didn't dare say it because she was still smiling and looking very happy. I just went into the room lazily.

Don't I have to have dinner? or take the food and eat it in the room? reason to dread project tasks or something? Ah my brain cannot think practically in this condition. I just know I'm lazy to linger with Ananta.

"Alana, let's eat" My leg stomped loudly when I finally just resigned, coming out of the room after changing clothes. I was lazy to think again. I just need to be quiet and not respond to all of Ananta's words. I can assume it doesn't exist. Yes, I can.

But once out of the room I ran out of words as Ananta and mom ate first. I want to be angry, but I can't. I plan on not talking to Ananta.

I just sat down and ate quietly, ignoring Ananta who seemed to be discussing something exciting with my mother. I'm like a guest not invited. So annoying.

After eating, I went back to my room again. No one scolded me either. This shit is so weird. I still hear Ananta washing dishes in the kitchen. Everything went very quietly as if this afternoon there was no problem between us. There was no Ananta who just picked me home in a creepy atmosphere.

That ananta, creepy.

...****************...

The next day I saw Ananta whispering something to Shinta. Right after I thought our relationship was fine. They must be laughing at me openly now. Sucks. I was just looking, throwing my face, looking the other way. Whatever as long as I don't see Ananta anymore.

And at the right moment, Diki approached me at the break. He invited me to eat together. Very strange, because usually he would not dare. Maybe he felt we were closer until he dared to. I just say it. The important thing is that I quickly leave so as not to see Ananta or Shinta again.

"you why?" ask diki. He may have seen my face not in the mood at all since then, or he may know I like Ananta and is now in a deep heartbreak. I don't know, I don't know how much he knows about me. He's just a little foreign friend, so I don't care about it.

"why not" I replied. There's no way I'm saying it's not okay.

"it doesn't seem like it" she replied. We're close enough, but I don't think it's up to the point that I can tell her honestly. I gripped my feelings once again.

"What do you want to eat?" I try to distract. And immediately he was busy observing the food court in the cafeteria picking food for the day, easily distracting him.

"what do you want?" He asked back.

"meatballs, iced oranges" I said quickly, I didn't need to think as much as he did. That food has been my favorite for a long time.

"oh okay" he said, standing up to leave me. I could only observe him from afar when Diki was already heading towards the only meatball seller in the school cafeteria.

"huft, thank you" I said despite knowing he wouldn't hear it. This kid is so nice.

...****************...

"Hey... Alana. So how? have you decided to join the club or not?" tanya Diki who was still busy chewing. I remember that offer again. Interesting anyway, it seems like the activity can make me stop busy thinking about Ananta.

"maybe I'll come" I replied. He swallowed the meatball in a hurry because he was in a hurry to talk.

"really? good" he was only willing to say so after painstakingly swallowing.

"huft, you know" I said seeing him not stop acting silly.

As I turned my attention for a moment, again I saw Ananta with the shinta standing next to him. They looked like they were looking for something, but then I wanted to hide as they walked up to me.

Shinta looked at me with a questioning look. I don't know what he meant. I don't get it.

"Hi, please borrow her Alana for a while" said shinta, she said so to Diki. who only nodded obediently, even though I had coded her to shake her head.

"i'm full, I'm in class first" I said, sure to sound cynical because I wanted to touch her.

I left Diki, Shinta and Ananta. Ananta doesn't talk at all, just sees me walking away. Shinta seemed like she wanted to say something, but she ended up silencing as well.

I turned a little from my route to class, looked for a quiet corner of the school and leaned my back there. Why is it so hard to see them together. I should have just been normal. This way they'll be more happy to tease me. I felt that something was making my chest hurt, but I knew clearly it was just because of my mixed feelings.

It's not funny if I cry here.

My body felt limp until I finally crouched down hugging my knees with my head down. I was embarrassed, angry, and disappointed at the same time. I still can't help but behave like this every time I see them together. So ridiculous. I felt my cheeks heat up, but my tears still held me back from falling.

Until someone's hand stroked my hair slowly. I ended up crying too with a muffled sobbing.

After a long period of soft elusan in my head was not felt anymore, I looked up trying to see who was comforting me just now.

But there's nobody there.

Very amusing. Even when crying like this, I was comforted by a ghost?

...****************...

Hola, after reading the story love a gift to the author who can see the ad only, free kok.. chapternya has not paid so his appreciation through gifts aja,

see you again if you have the spirit of nulis ( ⁇ '-')╮\= ⁇ 💌