Secrets & Prejudice = Keep it secret, you will hurt
twelve wounds.

Today I came home in a doldrums. Being away from Ananta is not good for my heart. I felt empty every day, as if some were missing and it was draining my energy to the point of not having the spirit to smile again.

I leaned my bike onto my porch without realizing that someone else was staring at me.

“Hai, sweet child.” Sapa a middle-aged woman looked at me with a look of hatred. He stood in front of the door, his eyes looking as if he wanted to skin me silently. Though I know nothing. This situation, it's dangerous.

“Halo, aunt” reply me awkward. I don't know how to respond. He just quietly followed behind me. Like a good host I open the door, if he really is visiting. Ananta's stepmother stepped in as soon as I opened the door. He sat haughtily on the sofa as his eyes scanned around like he was looking for something.

“What do you need aunty?” I asked as much as I could to be polite. Although my heart had wanted to expel him from the beginning.

“You are beautiful actually,” he said looking at me from head to toe. It's like stripping me naked with those eyes. Ah why his family all sucks.

“unfortunately, you look similar to women do not know themselves it.” His words were wrathful though with an expression that still looked calm. Pretending to be calm rather, I knew he was ready to explode at any moment.

“Sorry aunt, but a guest should be polite” reply me. I know, it's dangerous to talk rudely to an emotional person. But I can't bear to hear him humiliate my mother like that.

“who is more disrespectful? Me or your mother who hid the husband of the” man she cried. I stared in disbelief, he was angry because of someone who only stopped by for a while in our house. I don't even know where that guy is right now.

“Where is my husband? Huh?” he was no longer being polite, he roughly pulled my collar and pushed me back. Throw me till my back hits the wall hard enough. I grimaced a little bit with pain. He just stared indifferently and combed the entire house to find a black bag belonging to om Ari which I myself did not know that the object was still there. I really thought that guy just stopped by and already picked up his stuff again like he always did.

“What I said! He must be here” he said getting angry. He threw all the things he could reach out to nothing. I fear. Honestly, I'm scared. Finally I left him alone in the living room and closed the door of the meeting room hoping the man would leave soon. I don't care if my house is destroyed, I have to save myself first.

Now my hatred is burning with Ananta. He even made me experience this sad thing when my family was not wrong. It's all her and her family's fault.

We help him every time. But what I got from him was always bad things like this. Sucks.

Who does not know who is who? Those who choose to marry and hurt each other like that! Two adults who always fight for marriage without love. Then the woman blamed the mother in her eyes as if she was having an affair with Ananta's father. My mother, who even helped take care of their abandoned child, loved Ananta more than her own. Really, enough. I'm sick of that family that just keeps ruining our peace.

A few minutes passed with me who was almost crying behind the door hearing things being thrown without direction. The living room must have been destroyed because of the woman.

For a long time I was silent. The voice disappeared. I heard again carefully and there was no sound at all. That guy must have left. I just got out after waiting a few minutes later.

Sure enough, my living room was destroyed. Glass flower vases were strewn everywhere. My table would have been almost broken if it had not been made of strong enough wood.

“be careful. Your father is injured.” Here it is, the cause of it all. Ananta comes with his mother and Om Ari who looks faint. I just glanced at them while busy tidying up the rest of the messy stuff.

“What is this nak?” Ask mother. Ananta looked at me confused, he was just going to help me when I pulled his hand away.

“your satisfaction?” ask me to Ananta who is now looking to hear me.

“sorry,..” said it was short, full of regrets. He knows what's going on, because it hasn't happened twice.

“This is not your home! Why does it seem to come bringing trouble and destroying everything.” My head wants to explode. Everything I've been holding back just flows out.

“Alana, keep your attitude!” mad at mom, she throws Om Ari on the long sofa carefully.

“His stepmother came and went berserk!” mother speechless. Realizing my emotions had peaked, and part of it was because of his mistake.

“you know what people whisper every time they see my mom? They always whisper about mom cheating with your dad.” I stared intently at Ananta who was looking down deeply.

“after making mom a destroyer of other people's households she even ruined my house!”

PLAKKK!!

Mom slapped me. I stared at him intently feeling the warmth radiating down my cheeks.

“in mom's heart, I never was. It's always just them!” my cheeks are heating up, my tears have been spilling from earlier.Tears are running down my cheeks which are now getting hotter.

“Alana, don't be mad at your mother” Ananta said, finally speaking. He tried to grab my hand before I pulled him back.

“Silence, I'm tired of you too. All these years I've been buying more food for you, notebooks for you, new pencils for you, everything for you. But I only have one mother. Please, don't take him from me” I said, then leave, close the door hard and lock it from the inside. My day ended by crying alone. Basic, pathetic.

My anger at Ananta grew, initially only because he did not appreciate my request for a little secret, now the feeling of defeat because he never returned my feelings also contributed, especially the treatment of the mother who always put Ananta first, not to mention I was affected by the rift of his family. It's not too much if I'm angry with him. I'm sick of everything. If I could I would have chosen to hate him from the start. He gave me nothing but pain. Naturally, my place is to love. Loving people who don't see me at all.