REPLACEMENT MEN Season 2
CALM DOWN

Excessive guilt can be a killing machine. Not killing others, but killing your own feelings.

After two therapy sessions, Janu began to improve. But now he's changed. A few days ago Janu was a warm man with gushing affection after long forgetting his family. Now, he was more often silent, daydreaming and even shedding tears. His relationship with Maira became awkward.

"Sir Janu is experiencing inner pressure due to excessive guilt, Mom," said Major Yusuf, a psychiatrist who handles Janu.

"So what should we do, Doc? I tried to convince him that I had forgiven him. But the condition remains the same. Mas Janu was still drowning in his guilt."

Major Yusuf straightened his back. The man now focused on the woman sitting across from his desk.

"This is just input. Approved can, nothing is okay. We're continuing Serka Janu's therapy here."

"What is that, Doc?" Maira could not hide her curiosity.

"Serka Janu is religious. That's one of the reasons he finds it hard to forgive himself when he violates religious norms. And unfortunately, it affects the people closest to him."

Maira nodded, assuring.

"So in my opinion, it might be better if in the meantime he was given a chance to calm down first. Separate with the family first, so that the guilt that always arises when meeting the family slowly disappears."

Maira breathed a heavy breath. "Then, where will he calm down, Doc? Stay at this hospital?"

"No" replied Major Yusuf quickly. "I have an acquaintance of a kyai who runs a boarding school outside the city of Jogja. Good guy. Often deal with people who suffer from depression as well. If Bu Maira agrees, for a while we can leave Mr. Janu there."

Maira's forehead wrinkled. The woman seemed to be thinking, considering Major Yusuf's proposal.

"Of course the medical treatment we still do. I will still handle Mr. Janu. Regularly, I would visit the pesantren for therapy sessions and monitor its progress."

"But, Doc, what about the permission? Some time ago we have reported to the unity in Bandung. The plan is in the next few days mas Janu will start to enter the service."

"In such conditions I think Mr. Janu has not been able to carry out the task. His psychic condition is still very unstable. Later I will provide a certificate for the handling of his permission. If necessary, I will contact the commander in Bandung myself."

Maira's stunned. "Is this not too much of a hassle to the Doctor?"

The TNI doctor smiled. "No. Frankly I really want Serka Janu to recover as before. He's a chosen soldier. A good person who is needed by the family and the country. It's an honor for me to be involved in his recovery."

Maira looked down inside. "Thank you, Doc" he said softly. The woman was secretly grateful in her heart. He was always surrounded by good people, even though his fate was turned upside down.

"So how, Miss Maira agrees?"

"Again, sir," he answered steadily.

The next day accompanied by major Yusuf and the family of Pak Kusno and Bu Hartini, Janu left for the boarding school in question. The owner of the small and unpretentious boarding house is not too old. Probably a few years above the age of Major Joseph. He wears a white cocoa shirt, a sarong and a black peci. It looks simple and too ordinary for a pesantren cottage leader. But don't ask Adab and his knowledge. Justjust wonderful.

Maira and the rest of the family were slightly relieved after chatting with Gus Ikhsan, the leader of the boarding house. His wise words were able to ease worries. Without trying to convince, Gus Ikhsan can make them believe that Janu will improve in the boarding house.

"I ask, Maira should not often nengok mas Janu. Even in the beginning, it is better not to look first!" gus Ikhsan said, towards the end of their meeting.

"But why, Gus?" Maira curious.

"This is to stabilize the psychic condition mas Janu. I will tell you through my father." Gus Ikhsan's view turned to Mr. Kusno. "... When can Janu be visited."

Maira and the others could only nod. Resigned to the healing efforts proposed by Major Yusuf through assistance in the pesantren.

Now it's just Maira and Janu. Mr. Kusno, his wife, Bu Hartini, major Yusuf, and even Oza and Hanin followed Gus Ikhsan.

"Maas ...." Maira opened her voice. "For a while Janu mas we lived here first, yes." Look into her eyes, look at her husband.

Janu did not answer. The man looked blankly towards the front. His face showed regret. For days only that expression seemed.

Maira touched the back of her husband's hand. The man flinched. Maira, nanar.

"Mas, it's okay, right, while here?"

Janu. "It's okay" he replied.

"Excite yes, Mom. Me and the kids are always waiting for you to come back to us, in the same condition as before." Clear crystals began to appear in Maira's eyeballs.

Janu nodded. "I'm sorry, brother" he said.

Maira touched Janu's cheek. Tears began to flow down the man's cheeks. "We've forgiven you for a long time, Mom. Strengthen your heart against all this. For our sake, me and your children."

Isak Janu is getting louder. The man's shoulders shook violently. Maira immediately grabbed him in her arms. The back of his beloved man.

After her crying subsided, Janu brushed off Maira's embrace with a smooth motion. Hand held by his wife. "Sik, let me calm down here first" he said in a trembling voice.

Maira nodded. "But don't be long, Mom. I'd be so tormented if Janu didn't come back soon." Maira's tears are coming down.

***

Janu has been entrusted to the boarding house for a week. Maira and her children could not communicate with Janu at all. Oza started to protest at his bunda.

"Why can't we look at Dad, Bun. Oza kan, kangen!" whining.

"Mother's missing too, baby. But, father is not allowed to be visited. God willing, if we can, we'll be there soon, yeah."

Oza remained pouting. He looked at Maira sharply. His breathing snorted violently. Then the boy just threw a lego in his hand and ran into the room.

"Bad mother!" his yell.

"Daza!"

Maira's stunned. Just this time Oza looked really angry at him. The wound in the heart is back.

"I'm sorry mom, son," she whispered.

...Even flowers will wither away with time. Especially your love ...?...

(connect)

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