A SPECK OF LIGHT (Handle of Good-Loving Love)
48. Inner Welfare

From the night before Reza's marriage contract was not calm. From that night, where he told me he was getting engaged to Diana. He never saw Mentari again.

Trying to heal your eyes until you wake up at 3 a.m. He also went to the ablution bathroom to perform the evening prayer.

Pray for forgiveness for all the depravity and evil he did to Mentari. And he also begged to meet the woman who became his bedmate, a woman who willingly gave up her body and sincere love for him.

However, until the morning until the end of the contract Mentari did not appear. Even the reception was passed without a Mentari.

He smiled and laughed, but no one knew his heart was gone. In the face of Diana who just finished cleaning make-up.

A heavy sigh from him thought of the next thing that would happen. He had to give an inner living to Diana.

Couldn't.

Want not.

Tonight has to be done. Lying if he is not bright when being alone with Diana because the woman who has become his wife is not wearing a hijab like Adzilla and Mentari.

But the problem is, every time mengumbuk Diana must be ringing Mentari's face.

Because all this time, only with Mentari did it.

"Mas" called Diana walking around in satin lingerie.

Reza. Quite surprised because before her Diana had not worn those thin clothes. He knew that Diana was smiling as she looked at her body.

"Now we are free to do anything with me" said Diana sitting next to Reza struggling spoiled.

Difficile.

That's what Reza feels. He wanted the Mentari not to be Diana. But realize that's impossible. Tonight I have to live out my duties as a husband.

I'm sorry, Mentari.

The two eyes they met further eroded the distance until the two lips met. Eyes closed considering his fondness with Mentari.

Reza who had done that for a long time certainly knew the point of weakness of Diana. Arrived just as hers was about to enter Diana's heart.

His movements stopped realizing something. The eyes of the two meet. Disappointed of course. But because it was still in a declining spirit, he continued the game. There is not even a rachor out like where it is if it is fused with Mentari.

No more enjoying, immediately ending the game. As soon as the release, he immediately got up wearing shorts. Out of the room to the kitchen enter the bathroom for mandatory bath.

"Mas" called Diana when Reza had just entered us.

Reza sat on the edge of the bed. "Who did it?" tanyanya cold.

"Do what, my mother?"

Reza turned towards Diana with a sharp look. "Don't you think I'm stupid, Diana. Even if yours is cramped, but I know you're no longer a girl."

Diana squeezed her nightgown.

Reza sighed. Realize if this deserves it because there is someone he hurt a long time ago.

"Don't stay with me, ma'am."

"Because of you, I have to leave someone behind" Reza said, scrambling his hair in frustration and then lying on Diana's back.

No more talking that night. Reza really misses Mentari.

...****...

In the morning, Reza invited Diana to shop for kitchens because that day she would bring Diana to live with her mother.

It's not that he doesn't want to speak honestly with his mother. However, he was afraid that his mother would have to go to the hospital again because she thought about the problem.

Reza's mother had diabetes and high blood pressure.

Arriving at the tax, he had to swallow bitterly because Diana was fussy when she asked to choose onions and chili.

Repeatedly saying Istighfar in the heart. And there was a feeling of distinction between Mentari and Diana.

It seemed like nature was supporting him unintentionally, he saw the sun standing not far from his place.

He quickly chased after Mentari because he knew she was avoiding him.

"Sentence." call him.

He was eager to hug Mentari's body but saw the woman retreat as he tried to get closer to her.

"What's up, Za?"

"Where have you been? I'm looking for you" Reza really misses Mentari.

Reza saw the forced smile of Mentari and it managed to make his heart ache.

"I'm coming home. Sorry I couldn't make it to your engagement and wedding last night. I just got here this morning."

"But-but,"

"Mas."

Reza cursed annoyed at Diana making a look towards his wife. Mende was upset because Diana came to him just to accompany shopping when she needed time to talk to Mentari.

Remembering Mentari made Reza turn to look at the woman but very dear because Mentari had run far enough from where he stood.

In hempas embrace Diana in her arms. Then he himself chose the kitchen. Finished shopping without talking he walked into the parking lot letting Diana walk behind him.

I need to find Mentari and talk to her.

...****...

Three months later, Diana was declared pregnant. But Reza's attitude hasn't changed. It is true that love cannot be forced.

Diana's age is 3 weeks. And this is Diana's second pregnancy because a month after marriage, her wife was declared pregnant but not how long the miscarriage.

Reza thought only twice during the month it gave Diana an inner living already pregnant. The question arises whether Mentari was pregnant when she left? because during contact with Mentari, he never used safety.

He and Mentari do not like to wear the wrapper.

"Mas, tonight's okay."

"Hem."

Reza knew what Diana meant. His wife asked for a living from him. During the marriage, more often Diana asked first because she felt very disappointed with Diana and also felt betrayed Mentari.

With Diana, he was never satisfied. His wife was always helpless after the first release while he couldn't just once.

Mentari, I miss you so much.

...****...

The night of his day. He chuckles to see Diana still waiting for him, but he deliberately came home late tonight to avoid his wife's request.

"Why not sleep? you're pregnant again." she said walking to the kitchen, followed by Diana.

"I nunggi mas go home. I miss you, I promised."

"Did you forget you ever miscarried?" reza asked the right question despite the veiled intention of the question.

Without waiting for Diana's reply, she walked into the bathroom undressing and cleaning herself. After that he was wearing boxer pants just came out of there.

"Mom's asleep?" reza asked into the room followed by Diana.

"It."

And that night Reza gave that inner living again. He knew what he was doing was wrong. However, against Mentari he has a sense of responsibility that has not been implemented.

❤️

TB