A SPECK OF LIGHT (Handle of Good-Loving Love)
31. I'm ruined, Zilla

The next day, Soldier had planned to come to Adzilla's house after Joseph and Sania's father had gone to pick Satria up from school.

"Assalamualaikum" he said immediately replied with Adzilla.

"Waalaikumsalam." Adzilla's face turned flat but not with Soldier always smiling at Adzilla.

"What do you need?" ask Adzilla flat.

Soldiers clucked and handed him a bouquet of roses and a packet of famous brand chocolates.

Adzilla's forehead shriveled but still received the Soldier's gift. "For what, As?"

Soldiers chuckled back. "This is if his love is the same old woman" said Askar made Adzilla glare.

"You're this. I'm not that old. I mean what is your purpose, what is this?"tanya Adzilla sewot evenly unacceptable said old by Soldier.

The man laughed looking at Adzilla's annoyed face. "For the woman who broke my heart. I'm a guest, can't I come in?"

Soldier cursed himself after saying that because the look on Adzilla's face turned flat again.

Damnit damnit!

"Dad's not home. If there's any need to wait for me to come home."

"Okay, I'll just wait on the porch. Right you said, wait for me to play with my kids."

Again the words of Soldier made Adzilla glare and upset. As strong as Adzilla's energy to continue to be indifferent to Soldiers.

"He's my son, As. If you want to have children marry Mentari, don't admit my children as your children."

Soldiers did not respond just to raise their shoulders.

...****...

Still at the door, Adzilla continued to watch Soldiers sitting on the porch as if they did not care about him. Especially seeing soldiers playing mobile phones.

Adzilla smiled slanted when he realized he had felt happy because of the presence of soldiers.

Notwithstanding. Soldiers still have to take responsibility for Zilla's actions, never dream of living together with this man.

He approached Soldier, placing the bouquet and chocolates on the table next to the chair where Soldier was sitting. Their views met but were soon decided by Adzilla.

"Love the right people, As. And it's not me." said Adzilla lirih. As much as he could, he did not cry in front of the soldiers.

It never will.

...****...

Soldier's hands clenched hearing Adzilla's words. "Why? why do you feel like you're not the right person for me?" soldier's jolt with reddened eyes.

Adzilla was silent.

"Is it because of your widow's status, you're leaving me, Zilla? you even know for yourself that I fell in love with you when I was somebody's wife. Is it because you have children? you know how I love them. Because of Hana's blessing? you've been married, for seven years you could hang on with a guy like Bari, then why did you give up because there was no blessing when I loved you so much?" cecar Soldier lost his patience with Adzilla.

His heart broke when he found Adzilla crying. He got up and brought Adzilla into the house. He sat down and sat down next to them, with some distance between them.

Silent. Neither Soldier nor Adzilla enjoyed silence.

"Do you Zilla, my race is very deep, even though he has been broken, the wedge of my heart is still your name" said Askar lirih still heard by Adzilla.

"You really love someone when you can't hate them even if they hurt you. And that's how I feel about you."

Soldiers heard Adzilla growing sobbing over his speech. He knew that Adzilla was as hurt as he was.

"I'm sorry, As."

Soldier shakes. "You're the best, you're the worst. You taught me the meaning of heartbreak. You give hope, and then you leave. But why can't my heart hate and wipe you out of my heart, Zilla?"

The two looked at each other and then turned their faces away. Again the Soldier could see the meaning of the wound from Adzilla's gaze.

"Learn to hate me, As. That's a way out for both of us."

The soldiers turned towards Adzilla. "Why? why are you telling me to hate you? you told me to do that but you're also hurt." As strong as the soldiers restrain his emotions because Adzilla is still keukuh not to accept himself back.

"Because I love you, but we can't be together. I'm among you, As."

"Who are you guys? A mentor? I explained from the beginning that he and I had absolutely nothing to do. Indeed, when I was in High School I used to like the same fia but rejected, that's all. We don't have any special memories, Zilla."

Adzilla was getting more down in thinking about Mentari's words last time.

Mentari is not possible to unload his own disgrace, right if he is no longer holy? or according to Soldiers doing husband and wife relations with Mentari is common? Astarghfirullah's.. Why is my heart worried like this?

"I'm sorry, As. I love you so much. But even if it turns out you have the same feelings as me, let us love each other but can't have. Leave it like this, just pay attention to each other from a distance. And hope we always get something that's best."

"Trust me, love each other but can't have, it doesn't seem like something that sounds bad. But I just want to say, maybe this is the best at the moment, in the future I do not know!.” added Adzilla again made Soldier look at him.

Dismissed was Soldier's hope and his hope was only one at this moment. Persuading Joseph's father.

In a relationship, there are bound to be ups and downs. Depending on how we deal with the ups and downs, the end result of a relationship is not always predictable. Sometimes, separation can be the best way for both.

Especially if one party has incised wounds and pain in such a way, then the other party will certainly not be easily forgiven. It takes time to digest and accept everything, to make peace with the situation.

No one opened their voices until Joseph's father came home with Adzilla's two sons.

Adzilla got up straight to bring his two children into the room. Soldier and Joseph's father remained in the living room.

"What's up, soldier boy?" ask Joseph's father.

"Dad, I'd like to invite Zilla to continue our relationship. I feel Zilla loves me too and is just as hurt by our separation."

Joseph's father mangosteen justifies the words of the Soldier just now.

"Learn to summarize what is going to go and open a new page. Do not rule out the possibility, you two return to write a more beautiful story on the new sheet."

"Maybe not now you can have each other, but maybe someday. Or maybe you were created not to have each other. But it can have or not, the important thing is that you ever fall in love with each other." continued Joseph's father again.

All the words of Joseph's father were digested by Soldiers and he can conclude that Joseph's father also supported Adzilla's decision.

Soldiers no longer denied simply returning home by kissing the back of Joseph's father's hand and saying hello.

*I'm ruined, Zilla.

❤️

TBC*