Don't Say Love (BOOK 2)
Chapter 39

A man is seen standing in the doorway that is not tightly closed. His eyes that pierced deep in the dark of the night made the figure invisible at all. However, his eyes were straight facing the figure of the woman lying inside there. With her back position, that small back implied a lot of meaning now in her eyes. 

Jullian saw how heavy his back had previously sustained the burden of life he had been living. The pile of paper that was in his hands was no longer smooth. That hand was already tightly gripping the sheet of paper in his hand. There were many things that he did not know there. One of them is what has been experienced by women who until this moment did not know that Jullian was observing him in sleep. 

His decision to investigate everything that happened over the past five years has made Jullian open his eyes as wide as he can. Ever since Arnetta became depressed and refused to speak, Jullian has deployed his men to seek out as much detailed information as possible about years of misunderstanding and deceit that have made him a vengeful monster. Everything the man described had managed to create a very deep wound hole. 

Arnetta, who he thought for five years was living a good life abroad, experienced a lot of terrible things. Working as a restaurant waiter, factory workers and also bar workers must have been quite burdensome life. Moreover, the woman took care of her late mother who was very ill at that time. Yes, Ratih the Jullian remembered as a very friendly woman who was seriously ill. And with his steadfastness when Arnetta came to him pleading for help he gave was hell. 

What kind of man he is, Jullian thought. He could have steadfastly brought that past trauma to Arnetta. Everything contained in the paper in his hand had proven what kind of hell life the woman had faced. 

Arnetta Revalina, worked as a waitress for a restaurant for 10 hours and continued with her work as a factory worker and night had to work as a barmaid. Two years of his life there suffered rape. Arnetta was treated for one month in a psychiatric rehabilitation center due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which was very severe and had tried to commit suicide. 

That fact should have made Jullian regret himself enough to feel like he wanted to drown himself to death. 

"What kind of monster am I." He murmured with heated eyes. 

It was indeed abstinence for him to cry over trivial things, but regarding Arnetta, the woman he still loved until now he could not help it. Even the wound on his bruised hand had not disappeared. 

Yes, every time he finished torturing Arnetta, Jullian had to experience deep regret in him. The man repeatedly beat the wall of his house until it bled. Several times he almost cracked his finger bone. He can't stand it. The hatred lodged in his chest often made him out of control. When she remembers the photos of Arnetta with other men always makes her angry. However, when he finished torturing the woman he was eager to injure her. 

He crazy. Jullian is no longer sane. 

"Mr ..."

Jullian did not have to look back. He knew that Aunt Mary's voice would be the only thing keeping him calm. The middle-aged woman knew everything after she had done that torment to Arnetta. Only the woman had come the first time when she started hitting herself against the wall. And now those words are real. He deeply regrets the revenge he took on Arnetta. 

"You're right, Auntie. I regret. The hell that I created actually made me even more unhappy" he said. 

Back there, Maria with her old face couldn't do much. His gaze was sad looking at the child he had been nurturing since childhood. He knew it would all end like this. There was nothing she could do, even though Mary had told Jullian. The man was covered in an endless grudge. And now there was only regret in his chest. 

"I. .. can no longer give promises to make amends for everything. I have to make it up to you. I can't do it anymore with promises. I have taken her life and I must give her life. I. I still love her."

Once again Jullian glared through that narrow back. He could dedicate his life to Arnetta, even if she wanted him dead she would. But letting Arnetta be happy not to be with him would actually make him hate this situation even more. 

"I didn't know I could do it."

**

"Jullian, can we talk ?"

Jullian could only smile. Would he be able to drive this woman away without strangling her like he did to Amara. Because of this woman, Jullian can have the heart to hurt a woman who is actually his love obsession. Not his hate obsession.

The man laughed. I don't know what he was laughing at. Whether it was his stupidity or his fate that absolutely could not be said was good to remember. How depressed he was to remember all that he had done to Arnetta. Jullian berated, insulted, bullied, even raped the woman until she became pregnant. All was a combination of the torment he had given to Arnetta and the opening gate of all the torment was the woman who was now in front of him with a deathly pale face.

Never once in their last meeting did Jullian see the face of his ex-wife. Even during the divorce trial, Jullian was reluctant to come in order to mediate. For him there was no longer a part of their marriage that could be saved. Everything is created by the lies created by the Lusi family. At first he thought it could be easy to love this woman. Especially at that time Lusi was pregnant with her baby. However, once Arif was born Jullian realized that that was the first lie from the many lies he had received so that it made one party who was completely innocent get the consequences.

"Julian ..."

Since that night, Lusi was her nightmare. The woman who had made herself turn into a cruel monster. A monster he shouldn't have done to Arnetta. And he didn't know if he could still hang on with his sanity.

"I don't want to talk to you. Just looking at your face I'm sick of Lusi. Don't make me do the same thing I did to your mother."

Luci was still in his place, but this time the woman was crying. Her tears were already falling on her face. Nelangsa. He wanted this guy. He wanted to keep the family he had dreamed of for so long. Like Arnetta who had Ratih as his mother, at least he wanted to have one family in his life. The place came home even though it was all just an illusion.

"I want you Jullian. Wanted you so much." Lirih.

BRACKET!

The loud sound made Lusi reflexively close her eyes full of shock and fear. The glass object that was originally on the man's workbench was already smashed to pieces after it crashed hard. Jullian throws the glass vase on his desk aloud before finally letting out a sharp, cruel sound in his ears.

"Tell me again what you want, ******!"