After He's gone
twenty-eight fear of loss

The next day, Alana goes to school as she promised. But just hang on until the noon break. He didn't feel like he was in school for long when he found out Ananta was in the hospital. This time he asked for permission to skip out on family matters, fortunately the teacher he asked permission to approve without asking much.

This time he went back to the dorm and changed clothes so Ananta wouldn't worry. Alana wears a dark Green T-shirt and her favorite jeans. He chose whatever made him comfortable.

Before leaving, Alana packed a lot of stuff. She brings him food that Ananta usually likes, books that Ananta has never read, or anything that could comfort Ananta during his time in the hospital. Alana carries them all in two medium-sized crackle bags.

He walked while muttering the melody he liked lately. His mood got better, despite having to go to the hospital again. The reason for that was because Ananta let her accompany him in the hospital, unlike before when Alana was just waiting for news while crying alone. Now, meeting Ananta alone made her happy, as if she didn't need anything else.

...****************...

Arriving in the lobby Alana frowned as she looked at bella who was walking frantically in the hospital hallway. He walks half-running until he is unaware of Alana's whereabouts in the hospital lobby.

Actually Alana also wanted to say hello, but she did not have time to hold Bella. After observing more, the atmosphere of the hospital was indeed a little more crowded today. There may have just been an incident that made the officer panic and do his job in a hurry.

Finally he just followed bella's steps until he entered a room. He stopped in front of the hospital's ER door while staring at the room full of question marks. Why did Bella go there, who was sick?

Alana held her breath as she saw who was lying on the bed that Bella was approaching. Arkan was lying there with wounds that looked severe. Alana approached, calling bella who was already crying loudly while covering her mouth like muffling her own voice.

Bella immediately hugged Alana after seeing her approach. The parents can only look at the two crying High School children while trying hard to hide their feelings of grief. They tried hard, although from the look of his face looks deeper sorrow.

From Bella's slightly stammered explanation, Alana knows Arkan has just been in an accident and his condition is getting worse quickly. The hospital even mentioned that arkan was enrolled in a heart donor program due to severe brain injury. Alana still stroked the back of Bella who continued to hug her. Her shoulders were wet because Bella had not stopped crying.

Of course, if Alana was in the same position Alana would cry like that. Alana waits until Bella calms down before taking her out of the room and talking together. He should not grieve too much in front of the patient.

"Drink first" he said thrusting water that immediately received Bella, his throat felt dry because of crying a lot. He received the bottle with a slightly shaking hand.

"I can't believe it. It's really happening" he said softly. Her eyes were still teary almost crying again.

"I just spoke to him this morning, and now he's in this condition. How can I calm down" Bella said in frustration. You could say that he is in a coma now. The accident she had happened this morning, probably right after she called Bella. Arkan was taken to the hospital in a fairly severe condition and there was severe bleeding in the head. In addition, there were many wounds on his body as well.

"I know, but you have to stay calm, you have to be sure you can survive." Said Alana who felt strange about having to say the things she usually heard.

"I'm afraid of you" Bella said, finally expressing her feelings.

"Patience, I know you're strong, you have to hold on for Arkan." Alana spoke again. She felt as if she was talking to herself, as she had actually been in the same position as Bella. Being entertained by others does not make things better, but at least her feelings used to turn out to be calmer. I hope Bella feels the same way.

Alana hugs bella again, she's in need of a backrest right now. Alana can only try to calm Bella despite not knowing how to.

Bella nodded slowly, she was grateful she knew Alana, the person who relieved her heart a little for both experiencing a painful destiny where their loved ones were in a condition of surviving on the brink of death.

It was only after Bella had completely calmed down that Alana returned to Ananta's room. She stroked Bella's shoulder before stepping away, occasionally still turning her head slightly to make sure she could leave Bella who was seen wiping her tears.

...****************...

Alana stopped long before Ananta's room door. It feels a little heavy to go inside, he does not want to cry when he sees Ananta, especially when he knows the condition of Ananta's friends is also in a worrying state.

Alana opened the door slowly, she circulated the gaze throughout the room. Ananta's parents are not in the room. Ananta is usually sleeping if that happens. Sure enough, Ananta was sleeping in a blanket. Looks very calm. Alana observes Ananta's chest rising and falling, indicating that he is still breathing. Alana shook her hands in front of her face as her face warmed up wanting to cry.

He took a position to sit on the right seat of the bed after putting his luggage on the table. He took Ananta's hand looking for the spot where his pulse felt a small throb there. Alana exhaled a rough breath, her soft pulse still lingered and continued to beat until this moment. But after doing so, he felt miserable.

Other people never even realized his heart was racing all the time. He was happy with Ananta's heart rate. But even in such conditions he still has to be grateful because his condition is better than the state of Arkan now. I don't know if he can't grieve properly. It's mixed right now between being grateful and wanting to complain.

Deep down he admits, though not long friends... Arkan is a good friend. He always looked after her when they were together. Although some of them are the services of Ananta who introduced them but still, Arkan is valuable in his life. Likewise with Ananta, the person who became the reason for his smile since many years ago. The person he liked so much that he was willing to follow him anywhere. As long as he doesn't go to the afterlife.

And those two precious people, are now in a miserable state. Why, why would the people around him have to experience this kind of miserable fate. Unknowingly finally her tears dripped also made a warm feeling on her cheeks. Well, let him cry now. At least vent the feelings in his heart so as not to explode at the wrong time. Ananta won't see it now.