25 Years of Father
Accompanying Dad For The Last Time

On a night so painful for me, Mamah and Ica. We all walked up into the car. I was with Angga carrying Dad's car. Mamah and Ica were in the ambulance. Along the way I kept quiet it was hard to believe that this was actually happening. Dad was no longer breathing, many times I told myself to believe that Dad was gone.

From the sky the rain slowly descended drizzle. Maybe tonight it wasn't just me and my family crying to see Dad leave. My uncle was devastated by my father's departure. The words of Uncle that I remember so much when I first met Dad overseas.

"Anggia, Uncle was so relieved to see your father. Later Uncle left there was your father who buried Uncle. That's our custom. Uncle was really happy to see your dad. It's hard for Uncle to look for you. God finally found us too." That's what Uncle said when he hugged Dad at home.

They were actually searching for each other all this time in the overseas lands without being able to communicate. It was still very difficult to communicate over the phone.

And now it's not Dad who's taking Uncle to the funeral. It was precisely Uncle who went to take Dad to his final resting place.

At the same time when we all arrived at Dad's house, it was raining so hard. This is not the main house of Mom and Dad. Just Dad's halfway house where Dad has an inn business.

Father's immobile body was lifted into the room where all was provided from the bed and cloth cover and also the Koran. I lay down without looking sick again. Me, Mamah, and Ica were sitting next to Dad. At exactly eleven o'clock at the beginning of the year we lost the priestly figure in our family.

Outside Angga seemed busy organizing everything. Here we are not natives of course it is difficult to find all the burial equipment tomorrow.

The clock that keeps turning is getting late. It's been a very late day. My puffy eyes are very difficult for me to close. Until I finally just sat leaning next to my closed father. I touched Dad's cheek so cold. My tears kept falling every time I looked at my face this time. I kissed many times a face that I will not be able to see soon.

"Dad, is that Anggia's dream?" ask me to whisper to Dad even though I realize there will be no answer.

Now Dad's mouth shut tight until I realize where the longer Dad's face actually smiled. My heart hurts more and more to see Dad like this. What does all this mean?

While everyone was sleeping that night, I, Mamah, and Ica kept waiting until morning. Even want to sleep I have trouble. My ears kept hearing as if there was a medical device I heard three nights in the ICU. When my eyes closed again I heard like Dad was breathing. I reopened my eyes, and Dad really didn't wake up.

"Dad calm down there huh? Anggia will take care of Mamah and adek. Dad's not sick anymore, is he? Dad should be happy there see we've had enough Dad's been sick all this time. Anggia please don't worry about us anymore." I said speaking to Dad.