25 Years of Father
Regrets are Getting Deep

Two weeks my mind never tenangg after undergoing the first examination. Although many times Angga asked me to calm down. But fear kept haunting my mind. Trouble I get this pregnancy how can bad things actually happen to my fetus. I know that there are so many people out there who are fighting a lot harder than me. But, I'm just an ordinary human being who can get sick when what I hope to get but get tested at the same time.

And now is the day that Angga and I will go back to the doctor to check on the womb. All night long I kept praying for the power to give the good news. Last night even my sleep couldn't calm down in the least.

"Everything must be fine." in the tight grip of my hand by Angga when my name was called by the nun.

The room of the doctor who was going to examine us was opened and I entered with my eyes closed while praying. My only hope is that my son is fine and can give birth at the right time.

"Mrs Anggia, please lie down." the assistant of the doctor ordered me. Immediately I lay down with Angga sitting in front of the doctor at this moment.

The ultrasound device seemed to move over my stomach which had been given the gel. My gaze was fixed on the monitor in front of me. My chest was beating so fast when I thought about what the doctor would say again today. A moment of silence in the room ensued until the doctor's smiling face sighed.

"Thank God everything's fine. Look at that the fetal sac is already visible. Safe yeah? Everything is well developed." I also heard the doctor say thank you many times. I never expected bad news to come out of the doctor's mouth.

We went home after the administration.

"Our savings are running low. How we are told the doctor must be diligent in control while the savings must also be needed when giving birth later." on the way home I spoke to my husband.

During my six-month marriage I took the initiative to save money every time Angga gave me money for the kitchen.

"Could definitely do it later. I'll save money to eat out for our children." I smiled at my husband's words.

The cost of checking in the hospital is very expensive unlike checking outside the hospital. However, we have never received a recommendation of a place that we can trust.

Angga who wants to immediately go to work today stopped his intention when he heard me call him in the house.

"People, wait a minute." call me.

"What's wrong?" I looked at the screen of my phone that showed my father's name calling me. I don't know why it feels so rare that Dad called me.

Immediately I picked up the call and heard my father calling my name. "Anggium,"

"Yes, Dad?" I gripped with fear.

Even though I have grown up and married, my fear of father still cannot be completely gone. The father who was always hard on me for my good just made me unable to feel the warmth of the father figure.

"How's it? Healthy? Remember, eat nutritious food. Don't force that work. I paid the maid to work at your house, huh?" again I offer you the same thing you want.

If I were to be a successful child maybe I would do that for my father and mother. Here my life is really mediocre to eat. It is sad to remember all the dreams of the father so far to see his son succeed. Now I know what it is to be successful. And what is the comparison of people who choose success and simple life.

From childhood I often see how the father and mother who are both busy working until they do not have time to be with me. And since then I've been thinking about being a simple person even though my life is enough but my family can enjoy time together.

But, right now all those thoughts are much different. Where I want to be a successful woman to be able to help both my parents without thinking about the amount of money and can be useful to many people. Many times I see people who have pity. Want to help them without thinking about the nominal I give. But, everything is just a desire. I can only be a wife who works from home. My income is not so big, but if it is on par with my friends who work in several companies my income is slightly greater.

That's why Angga also forbade me to work outside. Besides being worried about my company, he thought that working outside only made my body more tired.

The words of the father who offered me the services of a servant I refused again. I can do everything myself. And promised to take good care of my body. I can't say anything anymore with all my decisions. Of course I appreciate my husband who has become the head of the household.

"Then I sent the money. See your rankings, huh? Eat everything you want not to hold. Dad wants to get out first." The call was cut off when I said yes.

"What's wrong?" Angga asked approaching me.

"Dad sent money he said to make me check the same food that would eat" I replied casually while looking at my phone. At first I smiled at the nominal that my father sent.

"How much?" ask Angga who is curious of course.

"Million." I answered but in the next second his face was shocked. My eyes were perfectly round and I filled my mouth with my other hand.

"Female, not a million!" My voice suddenly hysterically saw a number that felt like a dream to me. My tears just fell looking at the nominal that so much in my opinion.

"How much will it?" The goose asked again.

I did not answer instead chose to directly contact father. Call is also connected.

"Daddy why is it so much right? Didn't you send it wrong?" I asked because it felt like a dream to see the nominal you sent.

"Why? That'll make you check, eat the same as you need during pregnancy. It's still dp. I will give birth to my loving father again."

I cried my body trembling at my father's words. I never imagined Dad would give me ten million dollars so easily.

"Angia's father gave it back half, huh? That's too much. Just make me check the money. We have money to check. There's been savings as well." although actually it's not enough. But, I want you to calm down without thinking about my finances with Angga here.

"Don't refuse. That father give yah means your son's fortune. I want to buy you a car you don't want. It's enough money for dad to be here with you." I repeatedly thanked my father. Several times I wiped away tears.

Why are you so good to me and Angga? at first, our marriage did not receive my blessing from my father.

Eventually the phone call ended. My tears still flowed remembering my father. In a time of severe pain when his body is struggling to hold the pain, my father actually thought of my life who never asked for pocket money to him again.

Dad, forgive Anggia. Forgive Anggia who was so hard on you. If time could be reset Anggia wants to spend time by being a fatherly child. Now when Anggia is aware of all the goodness of the father, Anggia has become the wife of people. And I can't set it up anymore.

The better father, the more heart aches. I feel like a really sinful son to you. I should have been able to force myself to always be a class champion. That way you will be proud of me. Honey, my abilities I can't force anymore. Too great a temptation to play with friends out there.

The one who saw me sobbing sat on the sofa approaching me and hugged my body. He tried to calm me down.

"Anggia, I'm happy to have grandchildren. Now it's our job to take good care of our future children. Don't disappoint dad." I nodded even though my crying sounded sobbing.

"I can't love you yet." My voice was choked when I said that.

One month after the incident, my father called me back to say if my sister was going on vacation to the city where I live with Angga. I'm so happy, Ica who's grown up must be my friend at home. My enthusiasm makes me kekeuh want to pick up my sister in town c. At six o'clock in the afternoon precisely Sunday night, Angga and I drove a car loaned by the office to pick up my sister.

"Loh why come? You can wait for Ica at home, right? Let Angga pick me up." That's what dad said that made me go awry.

"It's okay, Dad. Pity Ica at Angga aja's pick up. If there was I'd be happy." I'm excited. And again I just resigned without any comment.

The night was getting late we passed with jokes along the way. My baby is now three months old. Where my body parts begin to contain. There was no nausea in the slightest I felt. Eating is getting worse nowadays.