25 Years of Father
Disappointment

The call from my husband was totally ignored. I just cried all around the city that was getting quiet in the middle of the night. My phone shook again and I saw a call from my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I knew they would advise me. But this time I don't want to hear anyone. The pain I've been enduring all this time they can't feel. I've kept everything in pain since before the wedding they never knew what it was like.

"Anggia, go home. It's already night. Talk carefully with Angga." My tears were dripping back and reading messages from my in-laws.

I know I was wrong to leave the house, but who can calm me down now? No one can. My disappointments are too piled up on my husband that even to this day I have never expressed. Many times I just cry through a destiny I don't want to mention one by one in my new life. I'm too tired to do everything. This time I would love to be a stubborn person without listening to anyone.

After walking around until almost dawn, I went home. Although my crying was hard to stop, I still tried to close my eyes until I fell asleep until noon. The phone I turned off on was no longer touching.

I want to calm down. I want to do what I want to do. I immediately rushed to take a shower and prepared to go out. Maybe God is giving me some fun walking time by myself. All this time I always seemed to confine myself to the house until I finally knew that everything I did was not enough to make him think that I wanted to do something bad out there.

After getting dressed, my body suddenly limp unable to support the weight of my body. I sat in bed crying. I thought I'd be strong to please myself by going out for a walk. Actuallyno. I was that weak and I ended up just lying in bed doing nothing.

Even until the third day of my fight with Angga, I did not want to activate my phone. I never eat either. My body is really very limp.

My cry stopped when I heard the voice of someone who was none other than my neighbor. Immediately I opened the door with my eyes blurry with tears.

"Anggia, don't be sad. This is Aunt calling." I just remembered that my mom had my neighbor's cell phone number.

"Em let me call her later on with my phone. Thanks dad?" I smiled as my neighbor rubbed my arms in excitement.

In my room I heard Mom talking to me. I understand mamah still do not understand anything about my marriage because from the beginning I still cover everything until the problems that occur before the wedding did not know.

I realized this was all the path I had chosen. Where I started it all with great disappointment. Only I can do when I get married to Angga. Everyone knows I am so happy. Without them knowing a year before the wedding my tears kept dripping every night. And it was my sister Ica who always witnessed me crying every night.

"Your father wants to talk, Anggia." Mom said as I called her. When my phone turned on I could see there were many messages from Angga and also my in-laws.

I'm ready to accept Dad's anger, because this time I didn't make a mistake.

"What's up, Dad?" I asked who had guessed that Angga must have reported.

"What is your application? I told you to take care of your attitude towards your husband. Don't embarrass me." My tears fell. This is what I know from my father. Never seen from my side. How I as a woman who is always silent actually got a lie like this.

"I know Dad must be Defending Angga. But, sorry Dad. I can't obey. This is my wedding. I have never tolerated infidelity nor gambling and such entertainment. I'll never forgive that."

"Anggia!!" my ears buzzed at my father's very high voice.

I'm just crying bitterly, if you know right now I'm hurt so much. I wanted to go home and hug Dad, but now I realize my dad is different from the one I used to imagine.

"Your husband is at work. Why are you demanding such a thing? Let Angga do anything out there. Youunderstand? Your husband's on duty. If outside he's not your right. You're not the main one for your husband. There is work to be prioritized. Let him drink anything, let him do it!" I swear to whatever I didn't expect Dad to say that hurt me.

There are no words I can say but obey my father.

"OKAY. I'm following Dad. Let him out there no matter what he does. I'll follow Dad." The call ended then and there. My patience was gone by then.

I threw the phone to the dinging until it cracked. I cried curled up on the bed.

"Dad, can't I get your gentle treatment? I just want to be able to tell you a lot of things crying and hugging you. I want to get a swab in my hair right now. I really need a tranquilizer from you." Only hope makes me sicker.

My affection and longing for my father instantly disappeared. Only anger at Angga is getting harder and harder for me to control. I shouldn't have had a fight with Dad if Angga hadn't reported like this.